200 replies to this topic

[Axl2]

Happy News Years everyone!! New year new post hoping everyone has a great year!

 

So I found out today that we are 146 on the waiting list and the active number is 117.

 

Any updates?

[ilovemydogs]

We were shortlisted for a placement in December (through the ARE) and found out less than a week before Christmas that another family was chosen. It was hard as I was finally starting to hope again. I don't see any other possibilities on the horizon, so I'm feeling a bit discouraged.

[Mrs. R]

So sorry to hear that ilovemydogs. The adoption process can be so heartbreaking and uncertain. Hoping that you get the perfect match this year. Try not to get too discouraged...the perfect child for you is out there or just not born yet

 

Is that good Axl2? I don't know anything about how adoption works in Alberta, sorry. 

 

On our end, we have one more meeting with our practitioner, and then all our stuff can get sent in to be reviewed, and hopefully approved! We are hoping to be adopt ready by the beginning of April at the latest  

[janny82]

We have our yearly home study update booked with the social worker next week. I have no idea where we are on the wait list but with all the waiting families and so few babies being placed privately in Alberta it will likely be another 2 years or more until we get matched for placement. Trying to just enjoy life as much as possible in between cycling and waiting. Have a trip to Vegas planned in March which should be fun I hope. Maybe I will get lucky and win some $$$! Apparently Backstreet Boys will be performing when we are there and I am trying (unsuccessfully) to convince DH to get tickets.


Hang in there,ILMDs. I truly hope you will get another potential match soon. This isn't easy, that's for sure!

[SecondAct]

I am new. We just attended our info session and are waiting for PRIDE.

[EverHopefull!]

Crashing to say that if Janny's DH doesn't agree to see the Backstreet Boys, that I'll go!  I actually did a BSB musical reference in a staff meeting this morning so I think it's meant to be, lol!

[Mrs. R]

Just got notice today that the Adoption Resource Exchange is April 30th in Toronto!

[ilovemydogs]

Thanks Mrs. R. We will be there.

[Mrs. R]

Awesome ilovemydogs! We will be there too!

[Renewed Hope]

Hi everyone! I'm new to this site and new to the adoption process. We recently submitted our application for domestic adoption in BC and are due to meet with our social worker this week. In many ways I can't believe DH and I are now at this stage in our dream to have a family, but in other ways I am just so happy to have a new sense of positivity and direction. Obviously I know there are certainly no guarantees when it comes to adoption, but I figure our luck has to change at some point!

Wishing everyone a successful 2017!

[Fuelgirl]

Hi everyone!
Jumping in here as we've sent in our application for Lithuania, and habe our first home study mid February. Been waiting with the local Adoption Options Agrncy for 5 years. Signed up for the 2 day International course early May. Questionnaires being worked on but wondered if anyone else heard of Lithuanian adoptions?

[Axl2]

I have never heard of it. How long is the wait for international adoption?

[Fuelgirl]

I have never heard of it. How long is the wait for international adoption?

Who knows. We have been on the list for local, open, private adoption for 5 years, and CFS for one year. Could be matched right away or take a few years. All up to the country and contacts there I believe. Bulgaria is another country we tried to learn more about. Our local adoption options agency works with those countries, plus China and a few others I believe.
Trying everything before our ages become an issue (48 in March), so a child over 2 or older is a great fit for our family. We always wanted a newborn, but at this stage, open to new possibilities.

[Axl2]

Well I hope the wait isn't too long through international adoption. I did check out international adoption last night.

We are through AO also I'm hoping the wait isn't long. I have decided that if we are not placed by the time I'm 35 that we will be going to start Ivf.

Good luck!!

[s00n]

Good luck to all the families waiting to adopt this year. I hope you are all placed and expand your family. The waiting period is so hard. The homestudy opens up questions with your spouse, if you have one, that you don't always discuss. The waiting is a weird stress.

 

In our experience we were SURE we'd be matched right away, then waited a year, and just as the year was ending, RIGHT after Christmas, after being rejected by our adoption worker on a file we were interested in, we got the call to see if we were interested in a file that became our daughter.

 

Popping in because facebook reminded me that we announced to the world (after placement visits etc) that we'd be adding to our family through adoption - 5 years ago today! 5 years. It flew by just like that.

 

I hope that everyone in the process finds some moments of happiness - some moments of hope and joy - and ultimately, that they expand their families!!! Big hugs to you all. Adoption is awesome.

[shansi]

We are starting to think about opening up the age of our desired child. We started with up to 8 and then moved it to 10 and now we are looking at 15. There is just something about these kids that are less likely to be adopted and close to aging out of the system that has opened my heart to this possibility. Has anyone done this or having the same thoughts?

[ilovemydogs]

We started with 8 as well, but moved to 10. We are also looking at expanding our circle by increasing the size of sibling group we are open to. Depending on the individual case, we would consider going older but some of the older children we have inquired about had issues we wouldn't have been able to handle.

[shansi]

ilovemydogs - I think with older kids it is a lot more about the specific child....we kind of feel like not any 15 yr old match us but that there could be some that do. When we talked to our worker about upping our age limit she said that it's likely we would be presented with possible matches pretty quickly because there are so many kids in that age group. We have now inquired about a couple specific children  (15 yr olds) so we will see what comes back on those. 

[Fuelgirl]

Hope everyone's week is going well. Our first homestudy meeting for Int'l adoption is next week, so we are madly trying to finish our questionnaires and decide on the "special medical needs" we are comfortable with. DH is not very comfortable raising a child with complicated medical history. Limits us maybe but we need to be sure of our emotional and financial limits. That's the hard part when one partner is fearful and one (me) knows you can also manage more than you first thought!
Wondering if anyone else struggles how to determine your limits as a couple?

[Mrs. R]

Hi FuelGirl - that is an excellent question that you brought up. My husband and I struggled with the same thing. I have worked in special education for over 10 years now so I was more comfortable with adopting a child with minor to moderate special needs. My husband on the other hand was not comfortable with it. He said he didn't know if he could handle it, and worried what it would do to our marriage. I definitely understood where he was coming from. We talked about it a lot. In the end we decided and put in our adoption paperwork, that we are looking to adopt a normal functioning child to one with minor issues. At the end of the day you both have to feel comfortable with the decision. Don't put down that you can handle a child that really you can't. No one wins in that situation. Good luck in your adoption journey

[Fuelgirl]

Just what I needed to hear. In our case, with the country's medical system and age being over 2, most physical medical issues will either be surgically done already or minor. I'm comfortable with lifelong issues and he is not. Common ground and me being understanding will eventually help us be excited when we get a match not worried...
Thank you for your advice.

[s00n]

A very dear child to me was adopted from Taiwan (? I think Taiwan - ugh now that I say it) Thailand? No. Mmmm. Apologies. Asia. At 2. She had to have surgery because her head was strangely lopsided. You would NEVER know it at the age of 4, 5, 6.

 

Our acceptance range was 1-2 kids, 0-10 years old. We considered older kids but DS was 11, so we were keeping birth order. In the end we adopted a 14 month old. Single kid. Were sure we'd get 2 kids. Life is strange.

 

DH and I were at odds about health issues, and then we reviewed our own family medical histories and opened it up a bit. Adding to that, I did research reviews that showed me that the outcomes of kids with drug exposure vs alcohol exposure can be better, and that there are certain indicators of better outcomes (head size at birth etc) that I was able to verify with our child's file. SO we expanded to where we felt comfortable. In our case, we lived in a house with many stairs and so mobility impairment wasn't something we considered at the time as an option.

 

Talk it through, and you will get to some semblance of a compromise. And if someone sticks to their guns on something, MAN, listen to that. It's important to ensure that you'll be best positioned as parents to parent in a way that is positive and doesn't feel compromised.

[Mrs. R]

My husband and I are officially 'adopt ready' in Ontario!!

[shansi]

Congrats Mrs. R!   Very exciting news!

[Axl2]

Congrats!!