Thanks for the nice words of support. I am still feeling so sad and tired. I am wondering if there is something really wrong with my body, like if I decide to do an egg donor, will it not work because of my body? Basically, its a round about way of blaming myself for being in this situation...."there's something wrong with me and the doctors can't figure it out." It hurts so much and is so scary to think I may not have a child at all.
Has anyone else made the decision to use donor eggs or adopt and what was that like for you?
I am so very sorry Melissa. I hope you feel better soon.
I was also worried that I had a implantation problem, especially as I was making a bunch of eggs, and getting a good fertilization rate. But we were suspicious it was an egg problem, and DH & I decided to go with donor eggs.
For us, it wasn't a hard decision to decide to do a DE cycle, but we had a hard time deciding on the clinic & path we wanted to take. Part of that hard decision making was my worry it wouldn't work, because of an implantation problem. And we were concerned about the high price point of DE in the US and Canada. After spending $$ on 3 fresh IVF and 2 FETs, we were wary of spending more money that wouldn't accomplish anything. We still have embryos left in a Canadian clinic -- but it wasn't working so we wanted to move on.
I was comfortable with not passing down my genetics. At first my DH was uncomfortable with donor eggs. But he became more comfortable with it. He did not like looking at adult pictures, and seemed the most comfortable with either just seeing baby pictures or an anonymous process where the clinic matched my pictures to a similar looking person.
I was uncomfortable with the high price of donor eggs in the USA and the high price of frozen donor eggs in Canada. We were worried it wouldn't work, and wanted to move forward with a plan that left us with resources, emotional and monetary, to do a second try. So we decided to go to Europe to a clinic that I had researched & had been highly recommended.
In the end there were no implantation problems at all. We didn't use steroids at transfer or intralipids, or any of the extra extra stuff I had paid for in my other cycles to help with implantation.
I'm now in my late 3rd trimester. Please feel free to message if you have any questions.
Good luck -- I know this is a hard place to be in and it can be difficult to find a comfortable path to move forwad.