4 replies to this topic

[Sweet_Insanity]

My sister moved in with us to help us pay bills. She has been living here for a few months since mid April.

Today she dropped a bomb on me telling me that she might be pregnant.

I am so mad, angry, crazy, and sad right now.

She knows everything that I have been through up to this point and I am a week away from starting my injections. IVF is so close and then this happens.

If she is how do I tell her that, I don't know if I want her around? Or am I just feeling this because of envy?

[GabyP]

Don't! Let the journey of others influence yours! Envy and jealousy are traits which distract us from what we want in life. Be happy for her and focus on you. When I started my journey I did not reject other "lucky women". Not their fault if we do not succeed. The energy we might put in rejecting others and wondering, takes away from what we need, want and pursue. 

You might not like what I am saying right now, but it comes from a good and kind place. what if you have a tiny one one day and yours is just average. Then you have a friend with a gifted child. Will you resent her because you perceive you child inferior to hers? 

Never define yourself or what you do by what others do.

Envy is ok, but manage it well and with grace. Is ok to have some rudimentary feelings, but they do not guide us. Think about it. when you have your own. Do you want her or him to feel that way if others around them get something they desire, yet have not accomplished yet? 

we all have inappropriate thoughts and wishes, that is who we are. What matters at the end is how we cope. 

[Sweet_Insanity]

Thank you GabyP! I was in a bad place yesterday. I think reflecting back I know why I was upset but you're right we all have the right to feel our joy when the miracle of life happens. And if it turns out she is, I know she will be over the moon because she has always wanted to be a mom too. Thanks for letting me vent and giving me a cool down after.

[GabyP]

It will work out. Be prepared for the the most stressful and wonderful experience. You have now entered the world of an emotional roller coaster and life will never be the same. There will be hope, disappointment, moments of feeling scared, you will be truly terrified, you will feel numb, angry, excited...........embrace it, survive it and don't give up. Take the road of the least regrets. While on this journey you will learn about yourself and others, you will become obsessed and overwhelmed. There will be days when you will feel like the world is your oyster and days when you want to curl up into a ball and hate what is happening.

Face it, a moment at the time, evaluate and no matter what will happen, it will teach you about yourself and what matters to you. It will show you who your friends are and who is not important in your life.

I now realize that when I began this journey I had no idea how intense it would become. Truly a day at the time. I am so fortunate and when I look back, can't even comprehend how I survived and what I managed to survive. each morning I look at my little one and there are tears of joy. I once thought that after I would give birth I would be ok and just carry on and raise her. It changed me. I admit that because of how it happened I feel deeper, stronger and still have not managed to fully accept that it worked out for me.

One thing I learned for sure. I never cared much for the opinions of others, except for the ones from my very close friends. It served me well. They have been there, challenged me, accepted, doubted and were there for me. Now they have become aunts and uncles and they love it.

There is never a guarantee and I knew that. I wish you well and at the end of the day, wish for you to hold a little one in your arms. If it does not happen, seek comfort in knowing that you tried everything you knew, wanted and had to offer. I am certain that no other journey or experience will ever be more intense than what you have started now. It will be ok,

[Sweet_Insanity]

Oh my gosh you made me cry, GabyP. Happy, sad, and scared tears. I feel most of what you felt and I have only begun my journey with ivf. I have struggled with infertility for 8 years. I do have some great friends standing by me and a few family members. Most don't understand and they just want to tell me what they think I should do. Hardest part is that my own mother and father do not understand it or my need for it. I cry randomly throughout the day and sometimes I feel even my DH doesn't understand why I feel so overwhelmed. Even though he is my rock, who keeps me grounded or keeps me from losing it. I'm glad you had an amazing outcome! Here's hoping the coming weeks I will be reaching my dream too.