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Excuses for not drinking

drinking excuses ttc alcohol

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#1 Notthemama

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:39 PM

I am sick and tired of relatives and friends' eyes watching me at social functions and wondering if I'm going to be drinking or why I'm not drinking.  My in laws are horrible for this as they don't know we're undergoing fertility treatments.

My husband and I don't want everyone to know what we're going through and there are times during every cycle where it's either questionable to drink alcohol or a complete no no.

Anyone have any tips, advice or interesting ways to avoid or hide issue of not drinking?



#2 amp77

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 06:00 PM

My sister would drink non-alcoholic wine.  Her husband would pour it separately and hide the bottle... but, I usually just say I have a bad headache and alcohol aggravates it.


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Age 40, DH 44 in Oct.

TTC on and off since 2007 before our second IVF, in 2014, brought us our beautiful son and our first FET brought us our second son in 2017.  Our family is complete!

 

IVF #1 - April 2014 - BFN - no frosties

 

IVF #2 - July 2014 - BFP - 5B-AB and 4 frosties (5B-BB, 2x4B-BB and 3B-BB)

Apr. 13, 2015 - Daniel Erik was born at 5:05 am, weight 8 lbs, 13 oz, and 22" long.  He is perfect in every way.

 

FET #1 - September 2016 - BFP - 5B-BB and 3 frosties (2x4B-BB and 3B-BB)

June 18, 2017 - Matthew William was born at 2:46 am, weight 8 lbs, 11 oz and 21" long.  He is perfect in every way too!

 

 


#3 cheers

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 06:03 PM

Ah yes the prying eyes of nosy people lol!!!  I hated it when I was at a function and knew that family, friends or coworkers were watching and wondering whether I would drink.  For if I politely refused an alcoholic drink, the rumour mill would fire up!!  

 

I tried a few different excuses - 'I'm the driver tonight and don't feel comfortable having even one drink'.  'I had a drink on the way over and I'm feeling a little unwell right now'.  I think I may have even used the 'I'm taking antibiotics' excuse.  However, my absolute favourite way to throw people off the scent was for dh and I to bring non-alcoholic beer to the event and then pour it into a beer glass when we arrived.  Easier to do if the host knows and can do it secretly in the kitchen for you.  

 

Its hard, and trust me I know what its like to try and pretend that all is 'normal'.  After a couple of years I more or less gave up on the trying to dodge the bullet.  So then I just let my guard down.  If people asked why I wasn't drinking, I would say 'I don't feel like it' and I think it bugged them more that I was so nonchalant about it.  That or because it took us years before we conceived that they eventually just gave up trying to guess because they were always wrong lol!


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#4 ladylazarus

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 06:24 PM

Cutting back on sugar is all the rage these days and alcohol is really just sugar. That seems like a good and healthful excuse. But I really like that non-alcoholic beer switch-a-roo; that sounds like fun!


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#5 GraceM

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 06:28 PM

I lie and say I am on antibiotics


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#6 LastTry

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 06:58 PM

I just had the glass of wine\beer, touched it with lips and never drank from it :-) - nobody never noticed or commented on that.

Another excuse - "we are taking supplements prescribed by naturopath/chiropractor/etc."- this is better excuse that antibiotics if you need to prolong the time for excuses :-).

If we host the party - we add the campari to our "menu". So for the guests - it is grapefruit juice with the alcohol and for us - just juice :-)


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Me&DH 40+, 2 kids (teenagers),
3 miscarriages  (all 1st trimester natural pregnancies) 8388.gif8388.gif8388.gif 2010-2012
IUI and IVF with OE did not work for me
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#7 SynchroGirl

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 07:39 PM

This one drives me crazy. I've been taking a lot of heat lately for not drinking and I began to realize how much pressure there is to have a drink and "be social". I used the "I'm doing a health cleanse" excuse a few times lately, but I've still been accused of being pregnant...it's pretty upsetting.

Me: 40 DH: 52

Dx: Mild Endo, Immune Related Issues, Unexplained

TTC #1 since 2003... 3 years ending in heartbreaking divorce...

Lap #1 in 2005 (mild endo), Lap #2 in 2013 (confirmed no regrowth)

6 IUIs 2013-2014 @ RCC

IVF #1 (March 2018) - 4 eggs retrieved, 1 blast - 3BC (not tested), fresh transfer, BFN

Changed clinics - now @ MFC / Dr Virro - referred for immune testing, Dr wants to first get 2-3 PGS normal embryos before doing immune testing

May 2018-May 2019: 6 more IVF cycles.. 12 embryos, 3 PGS normal (5AB, 3AB, 4BC), 1 mosaic (4BB), 1 too small to test (3BC), 7 abnormal

Immune testing revealed low leukocyte antibodies (1%)

May-June 2019: LIT #1 (x2 treatments) with DH - minor improvement

July-Sept 2019: LIT #2 with donor (x3 treatments) - again minor improvement

Oct-Nov 2019: LIT #3 with new donor (x2 treatments) - not going to wait for the results, proceeding with transfer in December 2019

Dec 20, 2019 - first ever BFP!

 

 


#8 BOOM

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 07:53 PM

What I do is buy twist off top wine bottle and put the actual wine in another canister, then fill the wine bottle with non alcoholic wine:)) to bring to the party:) that way I get zero questions as to why I'm not drinking bc people think I am!!! Man .. Exhausting
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#9 Makana

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 10:14 PM

Ah......bah on the nosey gossipers! I have used the I'm trying to drop a few lbs before our vacation/anniversaryetc. Or the related on a new diet. Maybe they deserve to hear something more along the lines of alcoholism runs in my family, so just trying to abstain. Or I just lost a close friend because she drank too much... Ugh! Just because! Mind your own business!
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#10 MtnGirl

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 10:47 PM

The non alcoholic is the best idea - swap out bottles or peel off labels.
TTC - off/on since Jan 2009
Diagnosis - Male factor - Undescended testicle at birth, cancer of same testicle in 2005.
Most recent SA: 46 million/mL, 55% motility, 2% morphology (ouch)
Worst SA: 10 dead sperm (March 2011)

2 miscarriages - Sept. 2012 (trisomy 22) & Sept. 2013
Hashimoto's diagnosis - AntiTPO of 1147!

50mcg Synthyroid and feeling 1000000x better

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AMH=3.3
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Karotype normal

Hoping for a good cycle and lots of good embryos to freeze (not optimistic about the first round).

#11 gibasgirl

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 07:04 AM

So then I just let my guard down.  If people asked why I wasn't drinking, I would say 'I don't feel like it' and I think it bugged them more that I was so nonchalant about it.  

 

I really like that one and have used it in the past. It completely deflates the importance of the "meaning" behind your choice to abstain and makes it no different from choosing not to have a second helping of pie. :)


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#12 Meary

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 09:46 AM

I've had success just holding a glass of wine and never actually drinking from it.  Then continually trading with my husband after he's had some of his.  That way my glass is always at different levels, should inquiring minds care.  Though I find that people stop giving suspicious looks after they first see you with a glass, even if you abandon it later.

 

Another good cheat is to have soda water on ice with a lime wedge.  Call it vodka water (which is one of my favorite drinks) and people won't even think twice.

 

Or you can tell everyone to mind their own damn business. 


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#13 ewok

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 11:27 AM

Quite creative ladies!  I don't people ask more questions when they're used to see you drink alcohol.  My sister rarely drinks, so nobody wonders when she doesn't.  I do remember she drank 1 glass of champagne about 1 week before telling us she was pregnant (about 12 weeks along at that point).  But there was no way to actually say no without raising questions, it was just myself, DH, my parents, my aunt & uncle, and we were toasting her taking possession of our first house (plus champagne is about the one thing she likes to drink!).  My niece is still perfect, I mean, one glass in 9 months!

 

Myself I know I'll have trouble in small group this summer if it works.  Like when we're at the cabin with my parents for the week-end, or dinner with another couple.   I guess I'll try the alcohol free beer, plus switching glass with DH, and when that's impossible, the antibiotics!


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Me: 38, DH: 38, together since 1995, TTC since 2004
 
PCOS, endometriosis Stage 3
Multiple early pregnancy loss (stopped counting at 8)
Left Hydrosalpinx seen on Ultrasound during my first miscarriage
July 2013: ER visit, found Ectopic pregnancy in right tube, internal bleeding, emergency surgery with removal of both my tubes.  Next phase IVF

IVF #1: March/April 2014, Antagonist protocol with Estrogen priming, OHSS risk, no transfer but many frosties

FET#1: June/July 2014: BFN...
 
FET#2: October 2014: BFP
July 19th: DD is born.  Our little miracle
(more details on About Me page)


#14 fullofhope

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 12:15 PM

I don't drink so I never had a problem but leading up to our IVF my Dh stopped drinking to help and teh first few times people asked if he wanted a drink he just said no I am good right now and after awhile people just stopped asking.


May 2013 - Failed IUI in Phoenix, Az

 

May 2014 - IVF/ICSI #1

 

August 2014 - FET

 

September 2014 - BFP

 

May 2015 - Baby girl Jaelyn born 8lbs 12oz.

 

 

 

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#15 amp77

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:45 PM

Get really angry and say that you are a recovering alcoholic and then swear a lot and say you have to go to a meeting and leave.  :)


Age 40, DH 44 in Oct.

TTC on and off since 2007 before our second IVF, in 2014, brought us our beautiful son and our first FET brought us our second son in 2017.  Our family is complete!

 

IVF #1 - April 2014 - BFN - no frosties

 

IVF #2 - July 2014 - BFP - 5B-AB and 4 frosties (5B-BB, 2x4B-BB and 3B-BB)

Apr. 13, 2015 - Daniel Erik was born at 5:05 am, weight 8 lbs, 13 oz, and 22" long.  He is perfect in every way.

 

FET #1 - September 2016 - BFP - 5B-BB and 3 frosties (2x4B-BB and 3B-BB)

June 18, 2017 - Matthew William was born at 2:46 am, weight 8 lbs, 11 oz and 21" long.  He is perfect in every way too!

 

 






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