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My story of hope


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#1 kristina713

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 02:03 PM

Hello,

 

I have not posted on this forum for a long time, but I wanted to come back and tell people my story.  I received a lot of support on here when I was feeling quite hopeless, so I hope my story will give hope to others.

 

I began wishing for a baby while in my early thirties and in a long term, but unhappy relationship. He wasn't interested, despite having promised years earlier that we would have children together.  I cajoled, badgered, fought, and was sloppy with birth control.  In retrospect, I now thank God that I did not get pregnant in that relationship.

 

Eventually, that relationship ended (I was now 34), but my self-esteem had been destroyed and I was devastated by the loss of my dream to have a family.  I was also desperate to find someone to have a baby with.  A bad combination.  After a couple of short, disasterous relationships, I realized that I could not force a relationship to work on my biological timeline.

 

After much soul searching, I decided to become a single mother by choice.  I was 36.  I went to the fertility clinic with every expectation that, now that I had given up on finding a partner, all would go smoothly.  This new dream fell apart when I tested as having very high FSH.  Several IUIs did not work, so the doctor suggested IVF.

 

I was determined that IVF would be the answer.  I was now 37.  I did everything to prepare -- took dozens of vitamins, took DHEA, drank green tea, did acupuncture, did yoga, gave up sugar, alcohol, and wheat, etc. etc.  But my IVF was cancelled due to lack of response.

 

The day the IVF was cancelled was the worst day of my life.  I had lost all hope.  I had looked for love with a man, and had found only pain.  I had looked for love through single parenthood, and that too had failed.  I lived far from family.  Work was not enough to give me a sense of purpose.   I felt that my life truly had no meaning and I had no hope for the future.  I laid in bed all day, with no motivation to keep going.

 

The next day was a beautiful, sunny day.  I had taken the entire week off work, because I assumed that I would be going through the IVF procedure.  I had no idea what to do with the week.  Finally, I decided that I could not lie in bed for a week.  I needed to keep living.  It took a huge effort of will to get up, but I decided to walk to the farmer's market to pick up some food for the week.

 

That day at the market, while buying tomatoes, I saw a man that I had met casually a few times before.  He was standing in the sun, looking quite handsome.  Even though I am normally quite shy, something made me brave enough to go talk to him.  Maybe I felt I had nothing left to lose.

 

Exactly one year later, we were married.

 

I am now 39 and married to the most gentle, loving, hard-working, family-oriented man -- the best man in the world.  My sister has agreed to be an egg donor for us and we are currently undergoing tests to prepare for this.  I still don't have a baby, but I am happy.  My life is full of love and meaning, and I am with someone who wants a baby with me.  We will find a way.

 

My story is my own, and it is different from any of yours.  But I wanted to share it, because I wanted to tell all of you to never give up hope.  Never feel that life is hopeless.  Great happiness might be right around the bend, it might be only a day away.  It is waiting for you, even though you can't see it yet.  Don't give up.


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#2 MB.

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 02:13 PM

Thank you for sharing your story.  So much of it was familiar to me, which shows that it is a story that can happen.  My previous partner would never acknowledge that time was not on our side, and just delayed any decision on having children.  Three years later I met the love of my life and I have never been happier.  Baby or not, things could not have worked out better.


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#3 Myrtle

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 02:24 PM

What an inspiring story.  Finding love and someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing.


  • gibasgirl and Sasabee like this

See my profile for more details.  

 

Me: 42 DH: 37

DS #1 conceived naturally, born Dec. 1st, 2008

January 2010, Begin TTC #2
September 2011 start charting
April 2011 Consult with RE.
All tests normal. No problems found.
Two IUIs. BFN.
February 2012 IVF #1 -BFN.
FET July 2012- BFN.
IVF#2  Fall 2012
Hysteroscopy Tues. 8/21
PGD 2 out of 11 embryos are normal and put back in. Beta November 7th. BFN.

 

Further testing - the RPL test- results in suspected immune issues.  Recommended protocol to take baby aspirin 

and possibly steroid.

Start taking baby aspirin.

April 4th 2013. Surprise BFP, chemical pregnancy.

IVF #3 - May 2013

April 8th start BCP.  Keep taking baby aspirin.  

April 19th - start 5mg/day of dexamethasone (steroid) 

Starting weekly acupuncture April 19th.  

May 1st- blood test come back positive for hyperthyroidism.  STOP EVERYTHING.

Referral to endocrinologist.  Appointment on June 20th, 2013.  

Have a prescription for vitamin d and for propylthiouracil.  started June 26th.

Blood tests at the end of July and end of August to see if all is well.  

Doctor hinted I might be cleared to go back to IVF as soon as September.  

 

October 8th, thyroid is now fine.  Cleared to start IVF.

 

IVF #3.5 October 2013

Oct. 18th - start BCP, dexamethasone and baby aspirin.

Nov. 1st - start .5ml buserelin each night.

Nov. 4th - last BCP

Nov. 14th - 1st u/s.  

Nov. 27h - ER.  11 Eggs Retrieved.  

Nov. 28th- Embryo update:  12 eggs retrieved.  10 mature.  8 fertilized.  

Dec. 2nd 2 embryos transferred 5-d-t.  Also mild OHSS diagnosis.

Dec. 13th - Beta blood test.  BFN.

 

Done with IVFs.  

 


#4 helwa

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:10 PM

Thank you for taking time to share you inspiring story! Everything happens for a reason.


Me;44 ,Never been pregnant,with DOR

DH:45 and 1 DD from an ex 15 yrs ago,Dx with low motility and borederline sperm count

What a nice combo!smile.png

 

Our Hx: Been trying for almost 3 years,started to see a doctor  2011 but bestfriend passed away and was hit hard with depression.

Had to feel better first. Was supposed to start treatment on sept but found out I have ZERO varicella immunity so have to wait for 3months to

to get it done.

Jan2013 1st IUI( 100mg Clomid and 5000units HCG injection)One dominant follicle only.. result th_abfn.gif cry.gif
 Feb20132nd IUI.(100mg Clomid and 5000 HCG injection..result is th_abfn.gif cry.gif

April5 SHG done..it doesnt hurt anymore...RE said its excellent.

 

April 21-done with BCP, April 22 in Vancouver

April 24 Baseline bloodwork and Ultrasound.They cant find my left ovary..

April24-25-Started with Lupron 10Units 2x/day.

April26-30-Started with [email protected] 450iu. then Lupron 10units 2x/day

May1-Estrogen level 430 and 4 follilcles in total.

may 3-E2 level 1000+4 follicles growing with 1 the biggest 14mm

May5-E2 2100 only 3 follicles seen.Dr,wanted to do IUI instead,wasnt very hopeful.I feel so upset.Dr.gave me 1 more dose this day and repeat U/S in am.I also asked for change of doctor!

May6- 3 follicles seen the biggest 18.5mm E2 level is around 3K..Dr. decided to go ahead with trigger shot at 2100.Started with Doxycycline.

Ma7-Chillin out!

May8-ER..painless! retrieved 5 eggs only...Hoping for some golden one,gradeAAA...

May9-2 eggs were immature,1 didnt fertilized and 2 were ICSI'd

May10- 1 egg left,the other has abnormal division. ( stressed to the heighest level!)

May 12- Transferred a day3 4-cell,grade 3 egg.

May24-  th_abfn.gifno further plans..Funds are low! Maybe after 6 months...

On Oct2013  we started thinking about Donor egg...I researched and contacted Reprofit..after I was offered a TX date,i became anxious and realized am not ready,Instead we went home to my homeland to attend my sisters wedding.

2014: Booked for DE in Czech REp..travelling on march 13!

March 24 is our donor EC,12 eggs collected,9 fertilized. March 29-transferred 2 embryo,1xExpanded blastocyst grade 1 and 1x blastocyst grade 1. 1EB freezed.

OTD April 10.

DIVF=  th_abfn.gif ..dont know what to do anymore!

May25 FET with 1x XB,result was th_abfp.gif  HCG on June 10 16dpt5dXB was 1800,then 18th day was 2999

 


#5 Sienna

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

Thanks for being open and sharing your story. I got goose bumps reading it. Wishing you lots of continued happiness in your journey.
TTC since July 2011
IVF #1 Jan/13
Jan 08/13 - Started BCP
Jan 28/13 - Last BCP
Jan 31/13 - First day of stims (150 Menopur 150 Bravelle)
Feb 11/13 - HCG triggerFeb 13/13 - ER
Feb 18/13 - ET - transferred 1 blast, 3 snow babies
Mar 01/13 - BETA #1 - 684 - WOOT WOOT!!!
Mar 08/13 - BETA #2 - 13539 - WOW!!!
Nov 2013 - WE HAVE A BOY!!! So Grateful!!!

#6 Heregoesnothing

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:43 PM

Super cute story!  I feel like it could be a hollywood movie!  LOL!  

Best of luck to you in your quest for baby!

 

BTW:  I am in absolute awe of your sister.  It's such a huge act of love...  I have no words.   


  • MeAgain and Sasabee like this

May 2013 - We welcome our baby boy 

Nov. 28th 2015 - We welcome our baby girl

 

3 day 3 embryos on ice 

 

For a more detailed look on my cycles, visit my 'about me' page


#7 Curlygirl77

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:51 PM

This is indeed such a beautiful story!!  Thank you.

 

My story is not too dissimilar from yours - dated a bit of a schmuck for about 3 years in my early 30's... realized that his ideals about a childless family were not my own... and then found a lovely man who I wanted to have a family with.  I also found out that I had high FSH and low AMH, and that my chances of successful IVF with my own eggs would be slim.  My sister has so generously offered to donate her eggs to us and though we are still in the discussion phase right now, I'm actually really excited to potentially have a greater success rate with IVF, and most importantly, share such an amazing bond with my sister who I love dearly.

 

Please feel free to contact me along your journey!  Best of luck :-)


  • gibasgirl likes this

Diagnosed with DOR in October 2012

Surprise BFP October 2012! Chemical pregnancy

January 2013- decided to pursue donor egg IVF with my sister- she is diagnosed with DOR as well :-(

July 2013- decided on donor egg IVF in Europe, planning on early 2014 to give time to try naturally

Surprise BFP September 2013. Another chemical pregnancy :-( At the same time, a dear friend offers to donate her eggs to us! Her testing begins...

Surprise BFP October 2013!!! 

First beta 29/10- 36

Second beta 31/10- 106, right on track!

Third beta 03/11- 277

Fourth beta 09/11- only 622... doubling time more than 3 days :-( Bracing ourselves for another miscarriage.

Fifth and final beta 12/11- 1875! Tripled in 3 days. RE wondering about ectopic...  

13/11- first ultrasound- gestational sac, yolk sac and fetal pole seen! Baby measuring exactly right on for dates! We are ecstatic!!!  Too early for heartbeat so now waiting patiently for next ultrasound.

05/12- 8+6 - beautiful heartbeat of 165 heard and baby is exactly the right size (and also very photogenic).  Can't believe it!!!!!!

12/12- 9+5 - first OB appointment. New due date is July 12th by our 8 week scan. Can't believe how much baby was moving in there on the ultrasound today!!! Happy little heartbeat too.

June 17, 2014-  our little miracle baby boy born by c-section for pre-eclampsia and breech at 36 weeks!  He is so awesome.  So incredibly thankful....

 

Surprise BFP July 2015. Third chemical pregnancy. Ugh.

Surprise BFP August 2015.  Seems too good to be true.  Very cautious but holding out a bit of hope...

First beta 02/09 - 2811

Second beta 10/09 - 29 455

22/09 - first ultrasound at 7+5! Little baby measuring right on track with a beautiful heartbeat. Due date May 5th!

April 21, 2016 - our second miracle boy is born naturally after a c-section the first time.  What an experience… We are so thankful to the universe and feel that our family is now complete. 


#8 sophi_H

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:18 PM

Dear kristina

Indeed such a beautiful story. I am mostly impressed by your determination to become a single mother and go through all that stress by yourself.  A friend of mine used to tell me " go and have a child, you are smart, you should have somebody to inherit your genes.....!!" And I used to tell her, I am not going to be single parent, I need a husband..............So I finally did find him, when I thought I will never meet the One.........now trying to make " the One to inherit our genes....!!"........

Good luck , now you have a big support in this stressful journey.


  • gibasgirl likes this

Me 40, DH 49

IVF 1 - 5 embryos - PGD - all abnormal

IVF 2- 8 embryos - PGD- 2 N, one transfer - BFN, the other gone after thawing

IVF 3- 4 embryos - none on day 5

That is the end of IVF journey

 


#9 BabyQ

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:28 PM

that is a beautiful story! i also went through bad relationships after 35 because i really wanted to have a baby and then contemplated single motherhood at 40 but decided not to go that route. after that was single for a year trying to accept possibly never having children. then i met the most wonderful man only 7 months ago at 41. i just turned 42 and we just started TTC. my FSH and AMH are not great but too bad but my tubes may be blocked (so IVF may still work). he really wants to have a family with me and regardless of the outcome i know he will still love me. sometimes things don't go according to our plans but like yourself i am very happy in the relationship i am in that i actually never thought i'd find.

i think it's wonderful that you are on your way to preparing for TTC with your sister's help :)


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#10 BabyQ

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:29 PM

i meant FSH and AMH are not great but not bad either** lol



#11 loo

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:37 PM

Beautiful story!  Thanks so much for taking the time to share it.  I was in tears of sorrow when I read your cycle was cancelled and then I had tears of joy when you met your future husband at the market. Unreal.  Things really do happen for a reason :) 


  • gibasgirl, MB. and Chy like this

TTC 7 years, me: 29 35, DH: 31 36
Dx: severe male factor

IVF #1 ET: 1 5AA blast on March 30, 2012.  6 frozen on March 31, 2012. HPT: +ve 5dpt. [email protected] 308.

Healthy DS born on Dec. 5, 2012

Natural BFP #1 chemical Sept 2013 

FET #1 March 28, 2014 1x 5AA blast. HPT: +ve 5dpt. [email protected] 908. M/C @ 6 weeks 

FET#2 Sept 9, 2014 2x 5AB + 4AA. HPT: +ve5dpt. [email protected]: 2000.  Early [email protected] 5w intrauterine preg+tubal preg, [email protected] 6w tubal preg failed (yay!) [email protected] 7w no hb, M/C @ 8 weeks 

FET #3 Feb 3, 2015 2x 4AA.  HPT: +ve 6dpt.  [email protected] 980.  Healthy DD born on October 15, 2015. 

IVF #2 Nov 4, 2017 2 x 16/20, 6 frozen. HPT:+ve 5dpt, [email protected] 1300.  [email protected] wk: di/di twins, [email protected] weeks twin A hydrops, [email protected] Twin A passed away.  Healthy DS born at 40 weeks on July 21, 2017. 

What to do with the last 6 frozen embryo's.... 


#12 Sasabee

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:59 PM

Amazingly beautiful, you've achieved so much already and wish you buckets more of happiness!
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Me: 35, DH: 47

Dx: Male factor

2007-09 IUI x 6 with DS @ OVO = BFNs

IVF 1.0 (January-March 2012)

BCP - January 1

U/S 1, 2, 3 - February 6-17 (Suprefact, Gonal-F, Luveris)

TESA - February 20

ER - February 21 (7 eggs, 5 matured, 4 fertilized)

ET - February 26 (10-cell Embryo, compact blastocyst) no frosties

March 8 - BFN

IVF 2.0

BCP - May 14 - June 4

Suprefact 50U - June 1 - 13

U/S 1 - June 14 - green light to start stimming (375 QD Menopur, 5U Suprefact)

U/S 2 - June 19 - 7-8 small follicles, dosage of Menopur increased to 525 QD, Suprefact stays the same

U/S 3 - June 22 - 4 follicles 13-14mm (left), 3-4 follicles ~6mm (right), staying on Menopur & Suprefact (same dosage as June 19)

U/S 4 - June 25 - 4 follicles left (14, 16, 16, 19), ~3 follicles right (10, 12, 14 - there may be another little guy) - staying on Menopur & Suprefact (same dosage as June 19)

HCG - June 26 @ 11:30 PM

ER - June 28 (8 eggs, 8 matured, 3 fertilized)

ET (3dt) - June 30 one 8-cell compact blast transferred (no frosties)

Beta 434 - July 14 = BFP!!! Also happens to be my oldest stepDD's birthday

Viability scan - Heartbeat viewed, graduated onto ob-gyn

NT scan - Sept 7 - u/s all looks good, blood test 1:1200 asked to do second set of blood tests

Oct 2 - Second set of blood tests...1:48000, all is great!

Oct 31 - 20 wk u/s - all good - team green

Jan 8 - officially passed GD test, hello ice cream we will remain friends

Katrina Josephine born March 26, 2013


#13 gibasgirl

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Simply beautiful. Wishing you the best.

#14 lexi

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:51 PM

What a wonderful romantic story! You are exactly where you need to be in your life. Everything happens for a reason.


Trying to conceive since 2007.

 

Me: 40 Husband: 39

 

IUI's completed - 14

IUI's cancelled after starting meds - 3

 

Miscarriages from IUI's - 5 8388.gif 8388.gif 8388.gif 8388.gif8388.gif

Surgeries to remove Polyps - 4

 

You are my angels, my darlings, my stars...and my love will find you, wherever you are.


#15 Chy

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 12:39 AM

Awwww...I'm so touched by your story. Thanks for sharing it. I wish you and your husband all the best!



#16 rollergirl

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 12:46 AM

Thank you so much for sharing. I can relate to your story.  Best of luck to you and your husband.


Me-72 DH-26 It is what it is...

#17 My_time

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:58 AM

What a beautiful story!! Love it. Thank you so much for sharing it and making my day brighter with a glimmer of hope that good things are out there! Wish you all the best with your upcoming cycle.


Diagnosis: Repeated Pregnancy Loss + DOR + Advance maternal Age.

So far no luck with IVF attempts. Hope things take a turn soon.

 


#18 2_lil_lines

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:36 AM

This story breaks my heart but at the same time gives me a breath of fresh air! Thank you for sharing such an amazing journey! Wishing you all the best!

#19 Marina Jason

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Posted 04 February 2013 - 06:44 AM

Interesting story!! Thanks for sharing this with all of us. I wish you a best of luck :).. Will wait for your good news :)preggo.gif


ivf treatment ..A Hope babyboy.gif babygirl.gif


#20 Pat9

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:34 AM

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I wish you all the best in your journey.


More info in 'About Me'.