facebook drama - Inject Fun - IVF.ca Forums

Jump to content



Photo
- - - - -

facebook drama


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 nervus optimist

nervus optimist
  • Super Moderator
  • 2677 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Genetic
  • My Clinic:newlife

Posted 30 August 2012 - 05:22 PM

Ahhh facebook drama.... what's a girl to do?

 

:flowers:


I am 38, DH - 39
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical

April 2017 - surprise PG

===> Beautiful baby girl born 2017 babygirl.gif


#2 Dillydally

Dillydally

    Cupcake guru

  • Cyclebase
  • 630 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Montreal
  • Interests:Cupcakes! Gardening, reading mystery books and salivating at pictures in cookbooks.
  • Dx:DOR
  • My Clinic:McGill reproductive center

Posted 30 August 2012 - 06:01 PM

Not sure what to tell you. For me all the friending/unfriending was too much of a reminder of nasty high school stuff. Now, I never even log on there. What I did do when I was an active fb user was to have various levels of access to my profile. This lady for me would have qualified as "I'll add you but you won't really be able to see anything". Maybe you could try something like that?

Me- 37, DH - 46
Dx: DOR

Please see my profile for prior history

 

Blood test to check for antiovarian antibodies (AOA)  in early September 2013

Follow up appointment with endocrinologist October 10th 2013 (FX AOA please be gone!)

Oct. 10th 2013 - AOA are gone!!!!

Oct. 18th 2013 - Appointment with Dr. H to review protocol

Oct. 24th 2013 - Start taking prednisone

Oct. 31st 2013 - Stop marvelon after taking 6 packs continuously (yay!!!). Happy Halloween:)

 

IVF 2.2 - November 2013

Low dose protocol with prednisone

Nov. 4th 2013 - U/S 1, all clear, start stims (150 Repronex)

Nov. 7th 2013 - U/S 2: one lonesome follie

Nov. 9th 2013 - Start Orgalutran

Nov. 11th 2013 - U/S3:

Nov. 13th 2013 - U/S4:

Nov. 14th 2013 - U/S5: 3 follies on right (18, 7 and 6 mm) and 1 follie on left (8 mm), trigger at 10 pm

Nov. 16th 2013 - ER...FX!

Nov.17th 2013 - Game over - none fertilized.

 

2014 - Taking a (permanent?) break from IVF


#3 gibasgirl

gibasgirl
  • Site Admin
  • 13136 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Toronto
  • Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 30 August 2012 - 06:17 PM

Don't add her. You really don't need the drama or the trouble.

People like that do not need to be a part of your life. I sense time and energy suckage on this woman's part. (and her whippied husband to a degree as well)

She probably sent the friend request because she found out that he messaged you and she wants to keep an eye on your activity. You know, lest you make a move on her man. Since no woman can be trusted. Ugh.

#4 rokgerl

rokgerl
  • Cyclebase
  • 1865 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Calgary, AB
  • Dx:Other

Posted 30 August 2012 - 06:32 PM

Would these people have just drifted out of your life, never to have been seen or heard from again if Facebook didn't exist? If so, don't worry about it. In this day and age its so weird to have these people, who would have never resurfaced again in any other era, try to show up in your life via internet. Sometimes people just need to drift apart....and the fact that he hasn't really responded back to you after your supportive message seems to suggest that maybe the friendship fizzled for a reason and you're better off being acquaintances? They know how to get a hold of you, should they actually want to rekindle a true relationship.

If the only reason you'd consider accepting her request is out of guilt or looking like a jerk, then DON'T do it! They'll likely bitch about you for a second or two and then be on their merry way. They've survived without you for this long (and likely had some choice words about you at some point...especially if she's the jealous type...so it would be nothing new). However, if the guilt is just too much to handle, making their view of your profile limited works too.
  • gibasgirl likes this

#5 runnerchick

runnerchick
  • Global 100+
  • 821 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Alberta
  • Interests:music, running, throwing the ball for my golden girl!
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Calgary

Posted 30 August 2012 - 06:32 PM

Don't do it. She's not a friend. She's a frenemy.
  • gibasgirl likes this

#6 ivf4pgd

ivf4pgd
  • Global 100+
  • 528 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Northern Alberta
  • Dx:Genetic
  • My Clinic:Regional Fertility Clinic, Calgary

Posted 30 August 2012 - 06:40 PM

Devils advocate here... Maybe she is reaching out to you for support regarding her son?! Having achild changes a lot, maybe she is over (or at least back burner-ing) her jealousy and seeking your expertise and advice. I also worked with children with autism and developmental delays, and as I'm sure you have witnessed, parents often go through that denial stage, anger etc. Also, navigating what is best regarding treatments can be scary, knowing someone who is an expert in the field would be helpful, as a parent toa child with autism. I know as a mom, I would be-friend ANY person, to help out my daughter! I say accept friendship, she what you get or don't get out of it, you can ALWAYS un-friend again, if it drama filled?!

I think you are curious, or you wouldn't be considering it? Plus, if he is a friend you probably want to lend any support, advice, insight and experiences that could possibly help them or their son. I say do it, and re-evaluate once you see the outcome, it doesn't have to be a forever deal?

Good luck in whatevr you decide, keep us posted!
  • DesignerBug and smc like this
DH genetic diagnosis Nov. 2006Married, July 2008, Pre-Screen Tests Nov. 2008, ALL GOODInfo night, Calgary March, 2009 Probes began at Genesis Genetics Clinic April, 2009May 6, Received okay from Genesis Genetics, Probes complete, ready!?Got the call June1, Start sniffing June 18ER July 19, 10 fertilized and biopsied ET July 24, Transferred 2 blasts, none to freezeBlood work August 5 got Results Aug 7, Not Pregnant!Got the call September 22, 2009Start Sniffing Oct. 4, 2009! ER Nov 1, 2009 14 fertilized ET Nov 5, 2009POAS Nov 19, 2009 BFP!! Beta #1 98 14dptBETA #2 745 18dpt Gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, July, 2010!FET Started sniffing Dec, 2011Estrace, Dec 21, 2011FET Jan 9, 2012Blood work Jan 23! Got results Jan 26, Not Pregnant!Called in AF#1 Feb 26, 2012, prescrens complete, March 8, 2012 AF #2 March 26, Treatment offered (10 days later)Suprefact April 13th A few bumps, but cycle continues, ER May 21, 2012! ET May 26, 2012Urine Test June 13, Not Pregnant!Plan for one more cycle, Flare Protocol, probably fall, 2012 IVF #4! (wow this signature is getting LoNg)July, 2012, offered and accetped treatment cycle!Flare Protocol, BCP July 20thBaseline U/S Aug 7th found a cyst! get my butt to Calgary, for another u/s and b/w for Aug 9th b/w comes back high, can't drain able to drain cyst Aug 13th Start injections Aug 20thPoor response to meds, AGAIN! retrieved 11, 7 mature, all 7 fertilized and biopsied! Sept 4th transferred the only 2 unaffected embryos on ay 5! PAOS Sept 14 BFP!!! Beta 16dpt 626Beta 20dpt 203 dropped! Oct 4, u/s shows no sign of pregnancy, stop meds! then beta went up??? Suspected ectopic! Body took care of itself, not pregnant!ok I've said it before but... One more cycleFlare Protocol, start dhea nov, 2012, and cont CoQ10IVF #5 Winter 2013! Dec 2012 accepted treatment! Af dec 30th, start bcp Jan 3Baseline u/s Jan 18, found a cyst estrogen high can't drain, bcp for another weekU/S jan 30th, estrogen high, continued to monitor, delayed 4 weeks until cyst drained itselfFeb 16 start suprefact injections, Feb 18 start gonal f and menopur (max dose of both) only had 3 to test, by day 5 only had 1 unaffected, and was not a blast, transferred it anyway, march 7. March 18th it's a negative, not sure where we go from here, a break for now!
May 2013 WHAT? BFP? Just when we were ready to be done trying for #2, what a huge surprise!

#7 DesignerBug

DesignerBug
  • 1000+
  • 2646 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ONE

Posted 30 August 2012 - 07:15 PM

I'm leaning towards IVG4's response. I feel like maybe something has changed. Perhaps she's seeking more your professional advise than friendship, perhaps not. Regardless, you've parted before you can part again if need be.
TTC#1 April 2003 - Jan 2009
9 IUIs, 12 months Fermara, 4 months Clomid, 5 rounds of injectable, 1 LAP, 1 HSG, 2 Uterine Biopsies, 1 Postcoital, 1 IVF, 2 FETs... 2nd Fesh Cycle IVF - ++Beta 110!

TTC#2 - Dreams coming true... Surprise BFP Au Naturel! Never really started trying, but never gave up hope on dreams coming true. 20w2, after 6 days of strict bedrest, we lost our baby boy, Emmett to my incompetent cervix and he was born sleeping. 24cm long, 0.67lbs he was the most perfect little angel and has brought with him many lessons for us to remember him by.

Lightening strikes twice apparently>>>> May 24 ++HPT, Followed by ++Beta. Numbers are low, but doubling. EDD Feb1/2013 ~ Baby Boy arrived 5 weeks early in under 2hrs. Left me with 4th degree tears. 2 years later, still pending reconstructive surgery :( In that time hubby had a vasectomy. Never thought we'd have a chance to take fertility into our own hands

#8 nervus optimist

nervus optimist
  • Super Moderator
  • 2677 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Genetic
  • My Clinic:newlife

Posted 30 August 2012 - 07:21 PM

You guys are all awesome.
I think now I'm more undecided than ever!
flow.gif


I am 38, DH - 39
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical

April 2017 - surprise PG

===> Beautiful baby girl born 2017 babygirl.gif


#9 smurfette_w

smurfette_w
  • Cyclebase
  • 2457 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Male Factor

Posted 30 August 2012 - 08:36 PM

I agree with IVF and DB. It's been so long now and they have a child who may have special needs and you might be someone she can turn to. Not sure how your guy friend is, but I find guys to be more standoff-ish in these circumstances, the female is usually the one who does all the research. Perhaps she's looking for advice and this is not meant to be anything suspicious.

I have a "friend" on FB from high school who I know hated my guts back then (others tell me she was just jealous for a variety of reasons). Anyway, we didn't really speak on FB, she's now a vet. So guess who I turned to when my dog ripped off his nail at 10pm on a Friday night? Yup, her, and I think she was very happy to be able to help me. I don't think this is quite your situation, but the point is that people do grow up.
  • gibasgirl likes this

___________________

Me: genetic issues
DH: genetic issues, MFI

TTC since Summer 2009

See my profile for details


#10 Maralee

Maralee
  • Cyclebase
  • 2291 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Calgary
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Foothills, Now Victoria

Posted 30 August 2012 - 11:01 PM

Agree with IVF, DB, and smurfette. What's that commercial...having a baby changes everything? Maybe they're trying to reach out to you for support but also 'remembering' what the past was? Try not to hold FB too near and dear, for those that are the most valued to us will reach out off line as well.
Me 30, 31, 32 Hubs 35, 36, 37

See about me for past history
IVF 2
Jan 2013-awaiting consult at VFC...
Feb 2013-Consult a success, off to victoria we go!  Looking at April.  Meanwhile, started gluten/dairy reduced diet with a ton of supplements.  Feeling great!
Day 1...Mar13/13
LH surge Mar 24 Start estrace Mar 27
Day 1, April 8
Fly to VFC April 9-u/s and blood work-all OK
April 10-start stims Gonal 225, saizen 1.66mg, repronex 75
April 15-u/s and bw, all good, 6 follies, all same size, continue and next u/s and bw apr 17
April 17-u/s and bw-all good, 7 follies, similar size, continue and next u/s apr 18.  ER on april 20 or 21
April 18-bw good, u/s now 10 follies but starting to separate in size.  Back tomorrow, ER april 21/22?
April 19-bw good, 1/2 of follies ready...trigger tonight, ER on April 21
April 21-9 retrieved.  Awaiting fertilization reports... fingers crossed!
April 22-Amazing news, 8 out of 9 are mature and all 8 fertilize, 1/2 by ICSI, 1/2 by regular.  How could that happen?
April 23-All 8 still going, mix of 15-19/20
April 24-6 still going, 2 transferred-an 19/20 and 18/20, 2 frozen a 18/20, 17/20, and 2 in culture to day 5-wait and see
May 8-OMG, positive beta!!  517, wow! 14dp3dt
May 10-beta 1060.  Yay!!
May 27-viability u/s...both took, it's twins!  Heartbeats around 140, 1 measures a couple days behind.  CRAZY!
June 16-10 wk u/s, both still growing, hb's 172 and 165. 
July 2-Nuchal-excellent.  Fell in love with them.  hb's 168 and 160, both measure a couple days ahead now.
Aug 16- 18 week detailed, both are amazing.  Team green! Cord insertion issue with baby A discovered.
Oct 10-27wk 4 day, A is 2 lbs, B is 2.2 lbs...may have seen a penis and sac on one of them.
Nov 7-30wk 4 day, A is 3lbs 13 oz, B is 4lbs 2 oz, this is going to hurt.
Nov 21-32wk 4 day, A is 4lbs, B is 4 lbs 8 oz, starting to slow down a bit, and both head down.
Dec 4-34 wk 3 day, A is 5 lbs 2 oz, B is 5 lbs 5 oz, A head down and engaged, B now breech.
 
Dec 17-after falling down the stairs, our baby boy and girl arrived at 36 weeks, small but healthy
Welcome Abigael and Colin.
 

Fr3Am7.png

#11 Flossie

Flossie
  • Cyclebase
  • 588 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:47 AM

My personal feeling is, if you are undecided or uncertain in any way, don't friend them. If they were truly interested in reaching out for the benefit of your experience with respect to their son, they could have sent a private message on facebook along with the friend request.

Good luck with your decision!
  • gibasgirl likes this
TTC for 9+ years

#12 Baby 4 Millers

Baby 4 Millers
  • 1000+
  • 1085 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Calgary

Posted 31 August 2012 - 04:22 PM

I too wonder if she's wanting to turn to you for advice. If there is a chance of that, you'd have to think about how you'd feel about that. Perhaps flattered. If so, you're a better person than me. I get a little selfish with my advice. When people ask for professional stuff, I give something quick and basic but my free time is my free time. I guess it depends on whether supporting someone else boosts you or drains you.
Me 43 DH 45. 2ww post day 3 transfer

#13 Aiti

Aiti
  • Global 100+
  • 102 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 17 March 2017 - 07:39 AM

I suggest not to add her....


  • nervus optimist likes this

Age: 26 and TTC:2 years
IVF clinic: Andrologist in Lahore

Married since: 4 years
Azoospermia


#14 Cassandra_Angela

Cassandra_Angela
  • 1000+
  • 2084 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Hamilton, Ontario
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:HART

Posted 17 March 2017 - 08:33 AM

Honestly I wouldnt let her jealousy play a factor in your decision, without knowing what goes on behind closed doors she could have reason for the jealousy (even though its a giant waste of time)

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and accept her request, as many said having a child changes your perspective and it especially changes when your child has special needs but I would adjust my settings so she couldnt see much, you'll know soon enough her motives because if she added you just to watch your activity etc than she will quickly unfriend you again.


  • nervus optimist likes this

Please see "about me" section for details

Pictures tell a thousand words: https://www.instagra...dra_angela1981/


#15 mouse

mouse

    Honorary PhD

  • Super Moderator
  • 7476 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:BKK/KWI/JHFC

Posted 17 March 2017 - 10:24 AM

Given that the original post is from 2012, I expect this has been sorted. smile.png
  • nervus optimist, gibasgirl and lumnay like this
The plural of anecdote is not data.

Charity gives a meal; justice provides a place at the table.

#16 Cassandra_Angela

Cassandra_Angela
  • 1000+
  • 2084 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Hamilton, Ontario
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:HART

Posted 17 March 2017 - 01:48 PM

Oh my LOL..... shows how observant I am
  • nervus optimist and mouse like this

Please see "about me" section for details

Pictures tell a thousand words: https://www.instagra...dra_angela1981/


#17 Aiti

Aiti
  • Global 100+
  • 102 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 30 April 2017 - 06:40 AM

lol


  • nervus optimist likes this

Age: 26 and TTC:2 years
IVF clinic: Andrologist in Lahore

Married since: 4 years
Azoospermia


#18 nervus optimist

nervus optimist
  • Super Moderator
  • 2677 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Genetic
  • My Clinic:newlife

Posted 30 April 2017 - 08:32 PM

ha ha ha ha ha.

 

This kind of cracks me up. I completely forgot that I posted it, and that it even happened. Not sure why I felt so strongly about it to share here but I guess it's not the kind of thing I would have shared on facebook as we have so many mutual friends.

 

For anyone who is curious, we are facebook friends, which is just fine.

 

That being said, there are some people in TRW who do know me, and her and may potentially be on this site, so I'm deleting/modifying the content to be a lot more discreet/anonymous. They say what you put online never goes away and clearly that's true! 

 

This was super entertaining. Thanks for resurrecting it 

 

flow.gif


I am 38, DH - 39
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical

April 2017 - surprise PG

===> Beautiful baby girl born 2017 babygirl.gif


#19 Aiti

Aiti
  • Global 100+
  • 102 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:40 AM

Stay Happy


  • nervus optimist likes this

Age: 26 and TTC:2 years
IVF clinic: Andrologist in Lahore

Married since: 4 years
Azoospermia