That drove me crazy when people would say "you can just adopt". Yes, adopting is a wonderful way to start a family and when someone is ready it is a great option, however it is a process to get there and it is also probably as hard as, and as much of a unknown as ART. Adoption is not easy nor is it something you can just do. Sometime the world out there is so clueless. Lexi - I hope this is the cycle for you.
2 votes
What are you tired of?
Started By
LMR
, Jun 18 2012 07:38 AM
575 replies to this topic
#51
lynblair
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- Global 100+
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- 259 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:N/A
Posted 16 July 2012 - 12:18 PM
- gibasgirl, lindsayinport, lexi and 1 other like this
TTC: 4 years
Dx: Recurrent Miscarriages and Male Factor
Feb 2009: BFP - #1 miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
May 2010: BFP - #2 miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
October 2010: BFP - # 3 miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
November to March: Clomid for 3 cycles - BFN
Work up for Recurrent Losses - All normals for me
April 2011: BFP - #4 Miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
Diagnosed with Male Factor - Joined wonderful clinic in BC
May 2011 - Started IVF, delayed due to flare (lupron)
August 2011 - IVF #1 - 2 perfect embryos transfered (4 frosties) - BFN
October 2011 - Start FET, delayed by a month because of flare (lupron)
Jan 2012 - FET #1 - 2 perfect embryos - BFN
Feb 2012 - FET #2 - 1 perfect embyos, 1 50% expanded - BBFFN
Had 10 (or maybe more) embryos try to grow and no such luck yet??
Finished homestudy, waiting to be on the active list for private adoption is Alberta and USA.
May 2012: IVF #2 - 2 (3AA and 2AA) blasts transferred (3 frozen) - the wait begins.......
Mild OHSS symptoms (re)start on 6dp5dt
8dp5dt Hpt = BFP!!!!!!
10dp5dt - Beta #1 - 505
12dp5dt - Beta #2 - 1485 (doubling, yipee!)
Come on babies, please grow so we can meet you!
6w4d u/s - shows a twin pregnancy, but just one detectable heartbeat @113pbm.
7w4d u/s - 2 babies on board, measuring right on track, heartbeats @ 155 and 163.
12w3d - NT scan - all parts accounted for, measuring 12w3d and 12w2d, HB 149 and 147. Waving and kicking around.
21w3d - Anatomy scan #1 - both babies growing well and measuring 3-5 days ahead. 1lb1oz and 15 oz. Babes too busy to get all images.
22w2d - Anatomy scan #2 - babies doing great, still really active but all systems on mom and babies are looking good. 1lb2oz and 1lb1oz!!
28w4d - U/S - babies looking good, HB 150 and 154, measuring 28w6d and 2 lbs 12 oz.
32w1d - U/S - babies doing so great!! Measuring 4lb2oz and 4lb4oz, getting chubby cheaks. All systems are good to go, these babies look like they will be in momma for a while. We are so incredibly, incerdbly blessed and so in love.
34w2d - U/S - babies doing great, both very big at 4lb15oz and 5lb1oz. All measurements great.
35w6d - Admitted to hospital with high blood pressure. NST great!! 2 cm dilated
36w1d - U/S - babies are doing good, saw one stick out its tongue. Baby A measuring 5 lbs 3 oz and baby B measuring 5 lbs 14 oz.
36w4d - Induction for high blood pressure. 3 cm dilated, MD broke water, 2 hours of hard labour with an epidural.
Babies make it safe and sound, thank you universe and everyone.
Baby A - Cierra was born at 5lbs 11 oz, and 16 minutes later Baby B, Emmett was born at 5 lb 1 oz.
Momma got to take them back to her room with her. We are so in love it hurts!
Babies came home < 48 hours after delivery, we are so incredible blessed and grateful.
#52
lynblair
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- Global 100+
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- 259 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:N/A
Posted 16 July 2012 - 12:29 PM
I just finished reading a little further and will second you ladies about the "opening up" and being responded to with crass and insensitivity. I too lost my BF and a few others during our journey, and I really hated that. However, I am not sure it was all that bad. Not sure I miss them at all?
I am tired of my reproductive status being a source of many peoples gossip, and that everyone feels the need to ask my mom and my sister if we are having kids or if we have tried IVF. At least they no longer ask me. I am tired of the fact that people feel the need to share my personal story with others, when I do not even share it with anyone. There is a reason why IF is such a lonely journey. At least we have IVF.ca!
I am tired of my reproductive status being a source of many peoples gossip, and that everyone feels the need to ask my mom and my sister if we are having kids or if we have tried IVF. At least they no longer ask me. I am tired of the fact that people feel the need to share my personal story with others, when I do not even share it with anyone. There is a reason why IF is such a lonely journey. At least we have IVF.ca!
- gibasgirl, lexi, Laura1976 and 1 other like this
TTC: 4 years
Dx: Recurrent Miscarriages and Male Factor
Feb 2009: BFP - #1 miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
May 2010: BFP - #2 miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
October 2010: BFP - # 3 miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
November to March: Clomid for 3 cycles - BFN
Work up for Recurrent Losses - All normals for me
April 2011: BFP - #4 Miscarriage at ~ 6 weeks
Diagnosed with Male Factor - Joined wonderful clinic in BC
May 2011 - Started IVF, delayed due to flare (lupron)
August 2011 - IVF #1 - 2 perfect embryos transfered (4 frosties) - BFN
October 2011 - Start FET, delayed by a month because of flare (lupron)
Jan 2012 - FET #1 - 2 perfect embryos - BFN
Feb 2012 - FET #2 - 1 perfect embyos, 1 50% expanded - BBFFN
Had 10 (or maybe more) embryos try to grow and no such luck yet??
Finished homestudy, waiting to be on the active list for private adoption is Alberta and USA.
May 2012: IVF #2 - 2 (3AA and 2AA) blasts transferred (3 frozen) - the wait begins.......
Mild OHSS symptoms (re)start on 6dp5dt
8dp5dt Hpt = BFP!!!!!!
10dp5dt - Beta #1 - 505
12dp5dt - Beta #2 - 1485 (doubling, yipee!)
Come on babies, please grow so we can meet you!
6w4d u/s - shows a twin pregnancy, but just one detectable heartbeat @113pbm.
7w4d u/s - 2 babies on board, measuring right on track, heartbeats @ 155 and 163.
12w3d - NT scan - all parts accounted for, measuring 12w3d and 12w2d, HB 149 and 147. Waving and kicking around.
21w3d - Anatomy scan #1 - both babies growing well and measuring 3-5 days ahead. 1lb1oz and 15 oz. Babes too busy to get all images.
22w2d - Anatomy scan #2 - babies doing great, still really active but all systems on mom and babies are looking good. 1lb2oz and 1lb1oz!!
28w4d - U/S - babies looking good, HB 150 and 154, measuring 28w6d and 2 lbs 12 oz.
32w1d - U/S - babies doing so great!! Measuring 4lb2oz and 4lb4oz, getting chubby cheaks. All systems are good to go, these babies look like they will be in momma for a while. We are so incredibly, incerdbly blessed and so in love.
34w2d - U/S - babies doing great, both very big at 4lb15oz and 5lb1oz. All measurements great.
35w6d - Admitted to hospital with high blood pressure. NST great!! 2 cm dilated
36w1d - U/S - babies are doing good, saw one stick out its tongue. Baby A measuring 5 lbs 3 oz and baby B measuring 5 lbs 14 oz.
36w4d - Induction for high blood pressure. 3 cm dilated, MD broke water, 2 hours of hard labour with an epidural.
Babies make it safe and sound, thank you universe and everyone.
Baby A - Cierra was born at 5lbs 11 oz, and 16 minutes later Baby B, Emmett was born at 5 lb 1 oz.
Momma got to take them back to her room with her. We are so in love it hurts!
Babies came home < 48 hours after delivery, we are so incredible blessed and grateful.
#53
Juliet
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- Global 100+
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- 718 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Ontario
- Dx:N/A
Posted 16 July 2012 - 12:53 PM
Bingo! I agree with every disappointment, feeling of anger and demoralization in this thread. I was about to respond with the same sentiments as you LB.
I am shocked by what some consider "support". While my best friends, mom and sister have not only respected our privacy but been very supportive and flexible with me and my emotional needs and availability, DH's parents (namely Mom - a retired guidance counsellor!!) has been a big disappointment. Three times we had interventions (which I did not feel emotionally capable of) to tell her to STOP telling her friends and family members about our private lives and struggles. When from the start we told her we were only sharing what was going on with the agreement she tell no one. Often we'd realize she'd betrayed us again when we'd be at a family function or event and people I am NOT close to would bring everything up totally nonchalantly and for gossip purposes. I found it very hard to handle these moments, which often of course followed another disappointment, more bad news, or driving directly to the event from the clinic. Luckily each time I was able to get out the question, "Who told you about this?" so we could follow up. Every time - his Mom. Finally she admitted she was telling other people more for herself to help her deal with it, than out of concern for us or our wishes. She also made me feel bad because "your family is different than mine"... that doesn't make her family or her betrayals appropriate! I can't believe, especially as a counsellor, she doesn't respect privacy or our very clear wishes for it.
Her ego took a huge hit when we agreed to meet with her last weekend. Otherwise I was unwilling to talk to her any more or show up to their house for more disappointments and leaving in tears as per usual. Luckily my poor DH realized this was necessary and he was also quite angry. She apologized but still seemed to feel we should commiserate with the pressures she's felt with how many people have been asking why we don't have children - how hard that's been for her. Well, my mother memorized a response and worked with it the past few years - why can't you? It's nobody's business... yes, we're aware we got married in our 30s, yes we're aware several years have passed, what a novel idea that maybe we should try to have kids! I dealt with the same at work for several years before people finally stopped asking, but I will always hold the hurtful statements against the people who subjected me to having to handle those scenarios, and usually in public. One thing IF has taught me is to NEVER comment on any aspect of anyone's personal life... or to assume another person's walk in life must exactly mirror my own. Sheesh!!
Unfortunately the severed relationships are just an additional pain to handle when what we all actually need is any extra stress or pain to be alleviated for us. I have, however, learned who I respect and who I don't, who is a true compassionate friend and who not. And even had a few surprises along the way... people who stepped up and tried to be there for us, even if we never filled them in on what was going on (ie. when I left my job.) I also regret that now DH's side of the family appears to think I'm a total b*tch and only knows of the situation from his mother's side, whereas my friends (who are all done having their children) and family have helped raise my esteem when it's been at my lowest - they think I'm strong, brave and deserve only the best - which was nice to hear when I didn't feel great about myself and the very opposite of strong. I hope in time DH's family will realize what his Mom's actions have actually done to us and that I AM a great person, who has gone through a difficult thing and that dealing with crappy people was especially hard to navigate at the same time.
I am shocked by what some consider "support". While my best friends, mom and sister have not only respected our privacy but been very supportive and flexible with me and my emotional needs and availability, DH's parents (namely Mom - a retired guidance counsellor!!) has been a big disappointment. Three times we had interventions (which I did not feel emotionally capable of) to tell her to STOP telling her friends and family members about our private lives and struggles. When from the start we told her we were only sharing what was going on with the agreement she tell no one. Often we'd realize she'd betrayed us again when we'd be at a family function or event and people I am NOT close to would bring everything up totally nonchalantly and for gossip purposes. I found it very hard to handle these moments, which often of course followed another disappointment, more bad news, or driving directly to the event from the clinic. Luckily each time I was able to get out the question, "Who told you about this?" so we could follow up. Every time - his Mom. Finally she admitted she was telling other people more for herself to help her deal with it, than out of concern for us or our wishes. She also made me feel bad because "your family is different than mine"... that doesn't make her family or her betrayals appropriate! I can't believe, especially as a counsellor, she doesn't respect privacy or our very clear wishes for it.
Her ego took a huge hit when we agreed to meet with her last weekend. Otherwise I was unwilling to talk to her any more or show up to their house for more disappointments and leaving in tears as per usual. Luckily my poor DH realized this was necessary and he was also quite angry. She apologized but still seemed to feel we should commiserate with the pressures she's felt with how many people have been asking why we don't have children - how hard that's been for her. Well, my mother memorized a response and worked with it the past few years - why can't you? It's nobody's business... yes, we're aware we got married in our 30s, yes we're aware several years have passed, what a novel idea that maybe we should try to have kids! I dealt with the same at work for several years before people finally stopped asking, but I will always hold the hurtful statements against the people who subjected me to having to handle those scenarios, and usually in public. One thing IF has taught me is to NEVER comment on any aspect of anyone's personal life... or to assume another person's walk in life must exactly mirror my own. Sheesh!!
Unfortunately the severed relationships are just an additional pain to handle when what we all actually need is any extra stress or pain to be alleviated for us. I have, however, learned who I respect and who I don't, who is a true compassionate friend and who not. And even had a few surprises along the way... people who stepped up and tried to be there for us, even if we never filled them in on what was going on (ie. when I left my job.) I also regret that now DH's side of the family appears to think I'm a total b*tch and only knows of the situation from his mother's side, whereas my friends (who are all done having their children) and family have helped raise my esteem when it's been at my lowest - they think I'm strong, brave and deserve only the best - which was nice to hear when I didn't feel great about myself and the very opposite of strong. I hope in time DH's family will realize what his Mom's actions have actually done to us and that I AM a great person, who has gone through a difficult thing and that dealing with crappy people was especially hard to navigate at the same time.
- gibasgirl, lexi and Laura1976 like this
#54
Adventure
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- Cyclebase
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- 325 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 17 July 2012 - 11:47 AM
I am tired of
-trying on dresses/clothes and wondering if this would still fit/work when i"m pregnant.
-trying on stretchy dresses and thinking "this would make a cute pregnancy dress"
-waiting to be pregnant
-silently judging everything my partner eats and hating him for making bad choices
-trying on dresses/clothes and wondering if this would still fit/work when i"m pregnant.
-trying on stretchy dresses and thinking "this would make a cute pregnancy dress"
-waiting to be pregnant
-silently judging everything my partner eats and hating him for making bad choices
- gibasgirl, Laura1976 and juice like this
#55
Mollybean
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- Cyclebase
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- 732 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Male Factor
- My Clinic:Ottawa Fertility Centre
Posted 17 July 2012 - 12:36 PM
i get tired of people constantly telling me that ''it's better you have male factor as your issue''
-because you know so much about IF after getting pregnant on he first month you tried?
--because you know the pain that it causes my Dh to be the reason why i have to put my body and mind through anguish to even be able to 'try' and conceive?
-because you think that it call all be solved by IVF?
certain types of cancers are more 'treatable' than others but it is not ''better'' to the person who is diagnosed with that disease.
-because you know so much about IF after getting pregnant on he first month you tried?
--because you know the pain that it causes my Dh to be the reason why i have to put my body and mind through anguish to even be able to 'try' and conceive?
-because you think that it call all be solved by IVF?
certain types of cancers are more 'treatable' than others but it is not ''better'' to the person who is diagnosed with that disease.
- gibasgirl, lexi, Laura1976 and 1 other like this
2007-went off the pill. thought we'd get lucky. ha!
2009-testing, testing and more testing
2010
Me: 29 DH: 33, severe male factor (less than 1 mill/ml)
IVF/ICSI #1
Jan. 28th- ER. Retrieved 7 eggs
Feb. 2nd- ET. Transferred 2 beautiful blasts
BETA: Feb. 15th BFP! 1493
March 8th-first ultrasound . 1 perfect heartbeat. 158/min.
April 12th-baby is doing great!
May 27th- We're tickled pink! It's a girl!
Oct. 13th- DD is born!
2012
Me. 32 slightly elevated FSH: 11.2 DH: 36 Male factor (ranging from less than 1 million-20mill/ml)
IUI with Injectables#1-3 follicles
Cancelled due to low sperm count day of IUI.
WTF appointment May 11th. Done with this IUI experiment. back to IVF/ICSI
IVF/ICSI #2
Sep 19th-ER 12 eggs
Sep 20- 9 out of 12 mature. 7 fertilized
Sep 24- 5dt of a beautiful blastocyst. 5AA and 3 frosties.
Oct. 1-+HPT, lots of red spotting (this sucks!), early beta 70.
Oct 5- 2nd beta-20 Early miscarriage
Oct. 9-3rd beta-0 BFN
2013
FET#1unmedicated
Jan. 8th-LH surge
Jan 12th-FET, Single 5AA blastocyst
Jan 19th and 21-BFP on HPT!
Jan 23- BFP 1161!
#56
Flossie
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- Cyclebase
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- 588 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 17 July 2012 - 01:18 PM
Of being scrutinized at work (they all know my IF issue) to just be fodder for the gossip mill.
(I know this has been said before but I just had to get it off my chest. One person I work with stalked me on here after my recent "sick leave" from work after terminating an IVF pregnancy that resulted in a chromosomally abnormal child that was not going to survive. Seriously. ***sigh***)
(I know this has been said before but I just had to get it off my chest. One person I work with stalked me on here after my recent "sick leave" from work after terminating an IVF pregnancy that resulted in a chromosomally abnormal child that was not going to survive. Seriously. ***sigh***)
- gibasgirl and Laura1976 like this
TTC for 9+ years
#57
Laura1976
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- Super Moderator
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- 3356 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Winnipeg
- Interests:I think right about now all I am interested in is getting PG and staying that way for 9 months!
- Dx:Immunological
- My Clinic:Heartland (IVF #1) VFC (IVF #2)
Posted 17 July 2012 - 01:28 PM
Of being scrutinized at work (they all know my IF issue) to just be fodder for the gossip mill.
(I know this has been said before but I just had to get it off my chest. One person I work with stalked me on here after my recent "sick leave" from work after terminating an IVF pregnancy that resulted in a chromosomally abnormal child that was not going to survive. Seriously. ***sigh***)
What kind of sick person wouldn't give you your space and privacy to grieve??? I am so sorry.
- Flossie, gibasgirl, lexi and 1 other like this
#58
Ames
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- Cyclebase
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- 682 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Halifax
- Dx:Male Factor
- My Clinic:AART
Posted 17 July 2012 - 02:18 PM
I'm tired of hearing that now that we have one child by IVF, that it will "just happen" because my body knows what to do now... too bad the issue is MF and that isn't the case
I'm tired of people asking if we are "going to bother" having any more since our son was our 3rd attempt at ART
I'm tired of having other people tell me just to adopt a second... we'll make that decision, and it doesn't happen overnight!
I'm tired of having people ask if our son is "abnormal" because of how he was conceived
I'm tired of people who tried for 4 or 5 months acting like drama queens because it took "soooooo long" to get pregnant
I'm tired of people griping about how expensive having a baby is...try paying to even make one!!
I'm tired of having to plan so far in advance for when we will try again...gotta save that money again!
I'm tired of silently hoping for a miracle, even though we know it is only a 3% chance....
great thread idea. I could only ever post this stuff here!
I'm tired of people asking if we are "going to bother" having any more since our son was our 3rd attempt at ART
I'm tired of having other people tell me just to adopt a second... we'll make that decision, and it doesn't happen overnight!
I'm tired of having people ask if our son is "abnormal" because of how he was conceived
I'm tired of people who tried for 4 or 5 months acting like drama queens because it took "soooooo long" to get pregnant
I'm tired of people griping about how expensive having a baby is...try paying to even make one!!
I'm tired of having to plan so far in advance for when we will try again...gotta save that money again!
I'm tired of silently hoping for a miracle, even though we know it is only a 3% chance....
great thread idea. I could only ever post this stuff here!
- gibasgirl likes this
#59
Flossie
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- Cyclebase
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- 588 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 17 July 2012 - 03:55 PM
Laura...(insert sarcastic font) To be fair to my co-worker(s), I didn't tell them anything about what was going on until I had my CVS test results back, & that took a whole 2 weeks. I was livid. No longer feel safe here, changed my screen name.
And because I work closely with this person, I HAVE to be civil to her when all I really want to do is kick her in the teeth for being so effin' insensitive.
Again, there I said it. Maybe I'll feel better now?
And because I work closely with this person, I HAVE to be civil to her when all I really want to do is kick her in the teeth for being so effin' insensitive.
Again, there I said it. Maybe I'll feel better now?
- gibasgirl, Laura1976 and Danutza like this
TTC for 9+ years
#60
Laura1976
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- Super Moderator
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- 3356 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Winnipeg
- Interests:I think right about now all I am interested in is getting PG and staying that way for 9 months!
- Dx:Immunological
- My Clinic:Heartland (IVF #1) VFC (IVF #2)
Posted 17 July 2012 - 04:54 PM
I'm sorry you had to go through so much because of their problems!
I hope that you'll feel better now that you have said how you feel, maybe getting it off of your chest will help.
I hope that you'll feel better now that you have said how you feel, maybe getting it off of your chest will help.
- gibasgirl likes this
#61
gibasgirl
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- Site Admin
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- 13147 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Toronto
- Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 17 July 2012 - 08:54 PM
Went to a work event/bbq.
All night long: so do you have kids? No we don't but sometimes it just works out that way.
Argh.
All night long: so do you have kids? No we don't but sometimes it just works out that way.
Argh.
#62
gibasgirl
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- Site Admin
-
- 13147 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Toronto
- Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 17 July 2012 - 08:56 PM
I could just cry now.
#63
gibasgirl
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- Site Admin
-
- 13147 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Toronto
- Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 17 July 2012 - 08:57 PM
Blaming the open bar...nah this just sucks.
- lindsayinport likes this
#64
lexi
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- 1000+
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- 1091 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Other
- My Clinic:Edmonton Fertility Clinic
Posted 17 July 2012 - 11:00 PM
Gibsagirl - Big Big Hugs!! I am so sorry. It is so hard being asked that! People are SO insensitive!
My favorite was when we went to a party one time with a lot of our friends etc and we were introduced to someone new. He asked if we had kids and I said not yet and he said in front of everyone "Oh is it your husband? I can always sub for him, I know I can have kids". Seriously?? I wanted to slap him! I said there is nothing wrong with my husband and walked away. Luckily DH didn't hear him....
My favorite was when we went to a party one time with a lot of our friends etc and we were introduced to someone new. He asked if we had kids and I said not yet and he said in front of everyone "Oh is it your husband? I can always sub for him, I know I can have kids". Seriously?? I wanted to slap him! I said there is nothing wrong with my husband and walked away. Luckily DH didn't hear him....
- gibasgirl likes this
Trying to conceive since 2007.
Me: 40 Husband: 39
IUI's completed - 14
IUI's cancelled after starting meds - 3
Miscarriages from IUI's - 5 
Surgeries to remove Polyps - 4
You are my angels, my darlings, my stars...and my love will find you, wherever you are.
#65
lexi
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- 1000+
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- 1091 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Other
- My Clinic:Edmonton Fertility Clinic
Posted 17 July 2012 - 11:01 PM
Flossie - Seriously??? People have no sense of boundries! I am sorry you had to deal with that!
- gibasgirl likes this
Trying to conceive since 2007.
Me: 40 Husband: 39
IUI's completed - 14
IUI's cancelled after starting meds - 3
Miscarriages from IUI's - 5
Surgeries to remove Polyps - 4
You are my angels, my darlings, my stars...and my love will find you, wherever you are.
#66
gibasgirl
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- Site Admin
-
- 13147 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Toronto
- Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 18 July 2012 - 03:46 AM
Gibsagirl - Big Big Hugs!! I am so sorry. It is so hard being asked that! People are SO insensitive!
My favorite was when we went to a party one time with a lot of our friends etc and we were introduced to someone new. He asked if we had kids and I said not yet and he said in front of everyone "Oh is it your husband? I can always sub for him, I know I can have kids". Seriously?? I wanted to slap him! I said there is nothing wrong with my husband and walked away. Luckily DH didn't hear him....
Wow. Just wow. What a perve and idiotic boor.
- Flossie likes this
#67
KittyKat
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- Global 100+
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- 556 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:DOR
- My Clinic:VFC
Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:05 PM
Yup for sure the waiting
The unknown and all of this being out of my control
The people in my life who don't realize being around their infant is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do
The acne from the DHEA I am on
That is my list for today!
The unknown and all of this being out of my control
The people in my life who don't realize being around their infant is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do
The acne from the DHEA I am on
That is my list for today!
Me - diagnosis RPL/DOR/Egg Quality issue
DH - all good
4+ years TTC - about me page for details
DH - all good
4+ years TTC - about me page for details
#68
confident
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- Member
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- 6 posts
- Dx:N/A
Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:13 PM
I'm tired of:
infertility controlling my life
not being the happy person I once was
infertility being all I think about
feeling sorry for myself
feeling so alone
people feeling sorry for me
feeling anger and resentment
infertility controlling my life
not being the happy person I once was
infertility being all I think about
feeling sorry for myself
feeling so alone
people feeling sorry for me
feeling anger and resentment
#69
TammyO
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- Member
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- 74 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Tubal
- My Clinic:Switching clinics!
Posted 18 July 2012 - 11:16 PM
I am so sick of people having babies and not taking care of them. The crappy mothers conceive without even trying and then there are other women who would make excellent mothers that cannot conceive.
I was at a grocery store the other day and the girl ringing my groceries through asked if all 3 kids that were with me were mine (only 1 was mine). I told her no. She started talking about her kids and how her DB was unemployed and stayed home with them. I asked her how many she had (BIG mistake). She informed me she is pregnant with her 5th...yes 5th!!! By the looks of this girl, she couldnt even take care of herself! Makes me SO mad!
I was at a grocery store the other day and the girl ringing my groceries through asked if all 3 kids that were with me were mine (only 1 was mine). I told her no. She started talking about her kids and how her DB was unemployed and stayed home with them. I asked her how many she had (BIG mistake). She informed me she is pregnant with her 5th...yes 5th!!! By the looks of this girl, she couldnt even take care of herself! Makes me SO mad!
- juice and Serene like this
Me: 35
DH: 44
TTC Since 1999
Adopted DD October 2003 (direct placement)
IVF #1 March 2012 BFN
No frosties...back at square one!
DH: 44
TTC Since 1999
Adopted DD October 2003 (direct placement)
IVF #1 March 2012 BFN
No frosties...back at square one!
#70
planner1
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- Cyclebase
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- 180 posts
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Male Factor
- My Clinic:AART
Posted 19 July 2012 - 11:58 AM
I'm tired of people making out that our lives without kids makes us lucky. I commented once to a friend that I was looking forward to lying in bed on saturday morning to which she replied "maybe i should drop my kids off and see how you like that". This friend knows what we're going through and said this a few weeks after our one and only pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I would give absolutely anything to spend my saturday morning with my own children. Another one of her comments related to a comment i had made about travelling 10 hours to our vacation cottage. She made some comment about being lucky not having to travel with kids.
I also have to listen to the same friend (who i work with) talk to another colleague about their children right outside my office. I avoid the lunch room so that i don't get stuck listening to either cute stories about their kids or hear them complaining about their kids. With them talking to each other outside my office I can't escape.
I tried to explain to said friend why i find her comments difficult and I don't think she got it at all......*sigh*
I also have to listen to the same friend (who i work with) talk to another colleague about their children right outside my office. I avoid the lunch room so that i don't get stuck listening to either cute stories about their kids or hear them complaining about their kids. With them talking to each other outside my office I can't escape.
I tried to explain to said friend why i find her comments difficult and I don't think she got it at all......*sigh*
- gibasgirl likes this
#71
keeptrying
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- Cyclebase
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- 244 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:vancouver, B.C.
- Dx:Male Factor
- My Clinic:PCRM
Posted 19 July 2012 - 01:23 PM
Really great topic...
I'm tired of every person around me getting pregnant...
My sister (doesn't want to be pregnant)
My sister-in-law (similar sperm issues as DH yet three natural pregnancies, this one IDENTICAL TWINS)
My summer school student (18 years old, 6 pregnancies in 4 years, all ended with terminations, decided to keep this one...)
My BFF (similar sperm issue to DH, but three pregnancies all IUI, all told she needed IVF/ICSI)
You hear all these "miraculous" stories, and they seem to be all around me, but THEY ARE NEVER HAPPENING TO ME.
Also tired of having to teach summer school to try and save the money to do another round of this SHIT.
Really tired of feeling sorry for myslef, crying all the time, losing precious time with my daughter because I am so consummed with trying to give her a sibling. I wish I was a stronger person who dealt with all of this with a little more grace, a lot more patience and optimism...
Just tired...
I'm tired of every person around me getting pregnant...
My sister (doesn't want to be pregnant)
My sister-in-law (similar sperm issues as DH yet three natural pregnancies, this one IDENTICAL TWINS)
My summer school student (18 years old, 6 pregnancies in 4 years, all ended with terminations, decided to keep this one...)
My BFF (similar sperm issue to DH, but three pregnancies all IUI, all told she needed IVF/ICSI)
You hear all these "miraculous" stories, and they seem to be all around me, but THEY ARE NEVER HAPPENING TO ME.
Also tired of having to teach summer school to try and save the money to do another round of this SHIT.
Really tired of feeling sorry for myslef, crying all the time, losing precious time with my daughter because I am so consummed with trying to give her a sibling. I wish I was a stronger person who dealt with all of this with a little more grace, a lot more patience and optimism...
Just tired...
- juice likes this
Me (36) DH (36) Married 6 years
TTC 6 years
Diagnosed mf (low counts morphology bad blah, blah, blah) (Dec 2007)
IVF ICSI #1 January 2008 (Genesis)
1st transfer BFN
FET #1 April 2008 BFN
Long break over summer
FET #2 November 2008 BFN
FET #3 Feb 2009 BFN
What to do????
Here we go again...
New Clinic (PCRM)
Lucky IVF/ICSI #2 July 2009
Transfer August 9, 2009
HPT 6dpt BFP!!!
Beta #1 8dpt 90!!!
Beta #2 10dpt 230!!!! It's real! It's real!
Our Baby Girl born May 6, 2010
Jan/Feb 2012..one more time frozen transfer to come
Transfer delayed
Final FET Transfer March 14, 2012
1 "OK" blast
Very faint BFP 5dp5dt
BFN to follow
Official BETA 8dp5dt BFN
This journey comes to an end...
Maybe not...
Follow-up with RE to discuss latest SA
Numbers up!!!! IUI to come...
First IUI Sept 24/2012
Post Wash 2.3 million 97%motile Good quality, low quantity.
BETA Oct 8/2012
HPT 10dpo very faint BFP
HPT 11dpo darker...
HPT 12dpo little darker...
BETA Oct 9/2012
BETA: 91
BETA #2 Oct 11/2012
BETA #2: 185 Just doubled...
Nov 1, 2012 U/S all good...
TTC 6 years
Diagnosed mf (low counts morphology bad blah, blah, blah) (Dec 2007)
IVF ICSI #1 January 2008 (Genesis)
1st transfer BFN
FET #1 April 2008 BFN
Long break over summer
FET #2 November 2008 BFN
FET #3 Feb 2009 BFN
What to do????
Here we go again...
New Clinic (PCRM)
Lucky IVF/ICSI #2 July 2009
Transfer August 9, 2009
HPT 6dpt BFP!!!
Beta #1 8dpt 90!!!
Beta #2 10dpt 230!!!! It's real! It's real!
Our Baby Girl born May 6, 2010
Jan/Feb 2012..one more time frozen transfer to come
Transfer delayed
Final FET Transfer March 14, 2012
1 "OK" blast
Very faint BFP 5dp5dt
BFN to follow
Official BETA 8dp5dt BFN
This journey comes to an end...
Maybe not...
Follow-up with RE to discuss latest SA
Numbers up!!!! IUI to come...
First IUI Sept 24/2012
Post Wash 2.3 million 97%motile Good quality, low quantity.
BETA Oct 8/2012
HPT 10dpo very faint BFP
HPT 11dpo darker...
HPT 12dpo little darker...
BETA Oct 9/2012
BETA: 91
BETA #2 Oct 11/2012
BETA #2: 185 Just doubled...
Nov 1, 2012 U/S all good...
#72
snowmom
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- Cyclebase
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- 2067 posts
Raving Lunatic
- Gender:Female
- Dx:Tubal
- My Clinic:VFC
Posted 19 July 2012 - 01:38 PM
I'm tired of people who tried for 4 or 5 months acting like drama queens because it took "soooooo long" to get pregnant
OMG YES!!!! My sister (love her) said to me "I kinda know how you feel because I wasn't sure if I would be able to concieve after my surgery." No reason to think this, even her Dr said she would be fine.
- gibasgirl and lexi like this
Me 40: Total tubal blockage, 1 ovary, DOR DH 35: Poor motilityTTC since 1998DS natural conception 1996DS&DD ivf icsi 2008DS ivf icsi 2013.Our family is complete.Donated four frosties. IP's got bfp!
#73
gibasgirl
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- Site Admin
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- 13147 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Toronto
- Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 20 July 2012 - 12:46 PM
Tired of selling my future for my future.
- Flossie, batty33, lexi and 1 other like this
#74
jeanie08
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- Global 100+
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- 271 posts
- Gender:Female
- Location:Ontario
- Dx:Tubal
- My Clinic:SOFT, London ON
Posted 20 July 2012 - 02:09 PM
Great topic....
- tired of being the only one NOT pregnant
- tired of going to everyone else's baby showers (I went to one a few weeks ago and got a thank-you note from DH's cousin saying how much she liked the gift and that she can't wait to go to my baby shower someday... what put me over the edge was that I rec'd this note on the day that I found out I was going to m/c)
- getting advice from people who think they know everything about infertility
- insensitive people who make insensitive comments
- having people assume that because I have a stepson, that is enough and that if we don't have anymore children it doesn't matter because at least we have him (love love him dearly, but that doesn't mean I don't want to have my own child)
- tired of the 1 hr drive each way to our clinic
- just plain tired of trying and trying, of taking drugs and progesterone suppositories, and being unhappy
- tired of being the only one NOT pregnant
- tired of going to everyone else's baby showers (I went to one a few weeks ago and got a thank-you note from DH's cousin saying how much she liked the gift and that she can't wait to go to my baby shower someday... what put me over the edge was that I rec'd this note on the day that I found out I was going to m/c)
- getting advice from people who think they know everything about infertility
- insensitive people who make insensitive comments
- having people assume that because I have a stepson, that is enough and that if we don't have anymore children it doesn't matter because at least we have him (love love him dearly, but that doesn't mean I don't want to have my own child)
- tired of the 1 hr drive each way to our clinic
- just plain tired of trying and trying, of taking drugs and progesterone suppositories, and being unhappy
Me - 36 - tubal
DH - 37 - low motility
TTC - since 2006
August, 2007 - LEEP surgery for abnormal cells in cervix
January 2008 - tests appear clear, referred to a fertility Doctor
May 2008 - referred to SOFT clinic in London
August 2008 - HSG- tubes said to be fine, routine bloodwork, DH - sperm analysis says low motility
November 2008 - IUI, natural cycle - BFN
August 2009 - IUI, natural cycle - BFN
September 2009 - IUI, natural cycle - BFN
October 2009 - IUI, clomid - BFN
November 2009 - IUI, clomid - BFN
December 2009 - IUI, clomid - BFN
January 2010 - met with Doctor to review, suggested Laproscopy, needed to be referred to a doctor in my city... waiting period took forever!
August 2010 - Laproscopy - test shows tubal blockage
IVF#1
July 28, 2011 - retrieval - 22 eggs
July 29, 2011 - 15 eggs
July 30, 2011 - 15 divided
July 31, 2011 - 13 embryos, 2 transfer
August 3, 2011 - 4 embryos frozen
August 12, 2011 - BFN
FET#1
November 16, 2011 - transferred 1 embryo (3 left)
November 30, 2011 - BETA 234! BFP!
December 2, 2011 - BETA 248 :-( praying that it rises
December 4, 2011 - BETA 199 :-(
December 6, 2011 - BETA 86 - :-(
m/c 6w
December 13, 2011 - BETA 5.4...
FET#2
June 20, 2012 - transfered 2 embryos (1 left)
July 1 - HPT - positive!!
July 4, 2012 - BETA 562 :-) BFP!
July 6, 2012 - BETA 194 ;-(
July 8, 2012 - BETA 163 :-(
July 10, 2012 - BETA 188 (it went up? not sure what to make of this - should I get my hopes up?)
July 12, 2012 - BETA 86 :-(
m/c 6w2d
July 19, 2012 - BETA 73
July 26, 2012 - BETA 143
August 1, 2012 - BETA 190 (Dr. prescribed misoprostal to help get the numbers down to 0)
August 2, 2012 - miso didn't work, taking birth control for 10 days
FET#3
June 15, 2014 - transfered 1 embryo - last one!!!
June 26, 2014 - HPT positive
June 28, 2014 - BETA 2076!!
June 30, 2014 - BETA 4615!!
July 5, 2014 - BETA 19405!!
July 12, 2014 - BETA 99980!!
July 21, 2014 - 8w ultrasound -1 little peanut - 173 HR!!! :-)
Aug 19 - 12w ultrasound :-)
Oct 7, 2014 - 19w ultrasound - all looks good!
Oct 16, 2014 - Found out today - it's a girl!!!
February 25, 2015 - Julia Brenda Joyce was born!! 7lbs 10oz 21"
#75
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- 1000+
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- 1668 posts
- Gender:Not Telling
- Interests:recovering from pretentious nonsense
- Dx:Unexplained
Posted 20 July 2012 - 08:49 PM
loosing
- gibasgirl likes this
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