Please excuse my rampant negativity, but I feel like this is one of the few places that I can get things out of my system.
I'm tired of my RE. I'm tired of how I feel when I have to interact with him or his clinic coordinator. I won't post his name because I don't want to be mean and the purpose of this post is just so I can get stuff off my back.
But holy cow! That guy makes me so anxious! Every time I have to see him, I feel terribly nervous. Granted, any time I have to deal with infertility stuff in general I feel like crap, but seeing him really puts me on edge. He gives me (what I perceive to be) conflicting information, is super agitated when I ask for clarification and has even yelled at me more than once. I think I ticked him off for questioning him? I have no idea. Now he seems so annoyed with me all the time, and it's like...what the hell is going on? Should I really be feeling this way when dealing with a health care professional?
And I can't get a straight answer out of him because he's convoluted when he speaks. I keep blaming myself because I'm not able to think clearly since my mind and body are so junked up from the mental trauma of infertility. I'm so stressed that I can't digest everything he's saying, and then he's annoyed. Man, it's bad!
To make things worse, everyone says he's so awesome and so amazing and so caring and blah blah blah. And again, I blame myself and I feel bad. I'm tired of my low self-esteem DAMN IT! I swear this infertility thing is a trip...