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What are you tired of?

Started By LMR , Jun 18 2012 07:38 AM

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#1 LMR

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Posted 18 June 2012 - 07:38 AM

Thought I would start this to vent about what we are tired of. I am tired of:
  • Having to act like I am preg during the 2WW when I am probably not. I have needed to act like I was preg 4 times during 2011 when I wasn't any of those times.
  • People asking when we are going to have a second child and telling me that I have to give DS a sibling.
  • Being jealous of pregnant women
  • Being stressed
  • Having to take pills to bring on AF
  • Having to call in my day 1
  • Leaving the house at the crack of dawn to make it downtown for early appts.'

What are you tired of?
  • MissFitzy, lexi, Sasabee and 2 others like this

#2 raingirl28

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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Southern Ontario
  • Interests:Video games, general geekery, cooking and other crunchy things like environmental awareness.
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:LifeQuest>OneFertility>Astra

Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:01 AM

Sex
  • Laura1976, Curly-K, Lisa1981 and 6 others like this
~TTC since 05/2007~
~Angels 04/07, 03/2011, 02/2012~

DX:
03/09 - "Unexplained Infertility"
06/11 - Lap surgery finds that right tube is blocked and left ovary has a large complex cyst (4.7cm X 3.8cm) that cannot be removed without damage to the ovary. Also find mild endo and left ovary was adhered to abdominal wall which has now been freed.

Treatments:
02/11 - IUI#1, Clomid, BFP, ends with a chemical pregnancy in 03/11
04/11 - IUI#2, Clomid, cancelled due to no response to meds
10/11 - IUI#3, Puregon, BFN
02/12 - IUI#4, Puregon, faint BFPs 9/10/11DPO but suspected chemical pregnancy as AF shows on 12DPO before beta test

Status:
02/12 - Taking a break and considering our options as we are moving in two months and need to get a referral to a new clinic. We are pretty sure that my left ovary isn't giving good quality eggs due to the cyst that keeps growing. If we attempt removal and it fails and the ovary is damaged/removed, then our only option is IVF which we cannot afford for a long while yet (and we are morally against IVF so really don't want to go that route if we don't have to).

#3 raingirl28

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  • Gender:Female
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  • Interests:Video games, general geekery, cooking and other crunchy things like environmental awareness.
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:LifeQuest>OneFertility>Astra

Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:01 AM

That and having to make arrangements around work to do any cycles (I work a rotating shift that starts at anywhere from 7AM to 4PM so trying to do a cycle is insane hard for me!)
  • gibasgirl likes this
~TTC since 05/2007~
~Angels 04/07, 03/2011, 02/2012~

DX:
03/09 - "Unexplained Infertility"
06/11 - Lap surgery finds that right tube is blocked and left ovary has a large complex cyst (4.7cm X 3.8cm) that cannot be removed without damage to the ovary. Also find mild endo and left ovary was adhered to abdominal wall which has now been freed.

Treatments:
02/11 - IUI#1, Clomid, BFP, ends with a chemical pregnancy in 03/11
04/11 - IUI#2, Clomid, cancelled due to no response to meds
10/11 - IUI#3, Puregon, BFN
02/12 - IUI#4, Puregon, faint BFPs 9/10/11DPO but suspected chemical pregnancy as AF shows on 12DPO before beta test

Status:
02/12 - Taking a break and considering our options as we are moving in two months and need to get a referral to a new clinic. We are pretty sure that my left ovary isn't giving good quality eggs due to the cyst that keeps growing. If we attempt removal and it fails and the ovary is damaged/removed, then our only option is IVF which we cannot afford for a long while yet (and we are morally against IVF so really don't want to go that route if we don't have to).

#4 JessicaSW

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  • Interests:Husband, Dog Maggie, Family, traveling, home improvements, gardening, our future family!
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:Ottawa Fertility Centre

Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:03 AM

My work being totally insensitive about my various appointments,
people treating me differently because "they might hurt my feelings",
driving 2+ hours one way to get to my clinic,
feeling sorry for myself.... :(
  • gibasgirl, lindsayinport and Laura1976 like this

Me: 24 DH:27, Married since February 12/2011
TTC Since March 2011
May '12 - First appointment at OFC.
Short Protocol w/ Puregon & Orgalutran
Nov 18/12' - First day of stimms!
Nov 30/12' - Egg Retrieval! 9 eggs from my left ovary, RE was unable to safely get into my right so we had to leave them all behind!
Dec 1/12' - 8/9 Fertilized with ICSI! Scheduled for day 5 ET on Dec 5/12'!!
Dec 5/12' - ET of TWO Day 5 Blasts! GROW BABIES GROW! XO!
Dec 12/12' - BFP on Multiple HPT's! Pinch me, is this real??!?
Dec 17/12' - BETA 259!!
Jan 10/13' - FIRST ULTRASOUND - TWO beautiful babies measuring on track. Heartbeats 141 and 153.

Jan 18/13' - First OB app't - Heartbeats 171 and 180! Already so in love with these two beauties!

Feb 11/13' - NT Ultrasound - Everything looks perfect! HB's both in 160's

. Pregnancy Ticker

 

 

#5 Cheddar

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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Ottawa

Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:33 AM

- Being fat from all the meds
- Being really emotional
- The uncertainty
- The acupuncture, vitamins
- The fights with my DH over his lifestyle choices
  • gibasgirl, lindsayinport and Laura1976 like this
TTC since February 2010IUI #1: October 2011, cycle cancelledIUI#2: December 2011: BFNIVF #1 in March 2012: BFNIVF #2 in July 2013: BFN Got divorced, spend several years having fun, met the best man I’ve ever known in 2016 and married in 2019IVF #3 in summer 2018: BFNIVF #4 in 2018 fall 2018: BFNMoving on to donor eggs at Shady Grove in guaranteed, shared risk program.Transfer #in August 2019: BFNTransfer #2 in September 2019: ?

#6 LMR

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Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:58 AM

  • having to stuff pills in places i never thought i would
  • being broke and worried about money all the time b/c of the money we have spent on treatments
  • family/friends not understanding and being insensitive

  • nervus optimist, gibasgirl, Laura1976 and 1 other like this

#7 notalone2

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Posted 18 June 2012 - 09:12 AM

Feeling invisible in a world of fertiles
  • sheba, lindsayinport, Laura1976 and 9 others like this
Feb 2010 natural bfp - miscarriage blighted ovum
March 2011 first meeting at Ofc - slight male factor poor morph
June 2011 iui - cancelled lead follicle grew too fast
July 2011 iui2 - 2 follicles - bfn
October 2011 iui3 - 1 lead follicle fee fast - bfn
January 2012 iui4 converted to ivf - 5 eggs retrieved 0 fertilization - no transfer
June 2012 ivf #2 12 eggs retrieved 9 mature 8 fertilized with iCsi - 2 blasts Transfered day 5, 2 frosties - bfn
Nov 2012 FET - thawed our only frosties (2) only one survived. Transfer 1 blast 3BB
BFP nov 20

#8 elephantshoes

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  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:LifeQuest/MFC

Posted 18 June 2012 - 05:53 PM

Not being able to fix this 'problem' myself.
  • sheba, lindsayinport, Lisa1981 and 3 others like this

IVF 1 - cancelled, oversuppressed

IVF 2 - cancelled, ovulated through stims

IVF 3 - BFP, welcomed beautiful baby girl

FET 1 - 1 blast, BFN

FET 2 - 1 blast BFP, chemical

FET 3 - 2 blasts, BFN

IVF 4 - adding in PGS this time, two PERFECT blasts transferred, BFN

ERA revealed implantation window is off by 2 days

IVF 5 - cancelled, ridiculously bad growth compared to other cycles

IVF 6 - transfer cancelled, all 11 blasts came back genetically abnormal

 

getting second opinion/changing clinics...the story continues...

 

IVF 7 - 34 retrieved, 7 day 5 blasts, 6 PGS NORMAL!!!

FET 4 - 1 euploid blast (4BB), BFN

Immune testing - NK cells too high, LADs too low - 3 LITS + IVIG recommended and completed

ERA testing shows that lining is receptive for 7.5dt 

FET 5 - 1 euploid blast (3ABO), BFP

BETA #1 - 10dp5dt 252

BETA #2 - 12dp5dt 559

everything is crossed...

Welcomed another beautiful baby girl 

 

FET 6 - 1 euploid blast (3BAO), BFP

BETA #1 - 13dp5dt 420

Welcomed our 3rd beautiful baby girl

 

Our journey is complete.  What a wild ride.

#9 snowmom

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Posted 18 June 2012 - 06:03 PM

Having people second guess my choices when it comes to persuing IVF. Not their business.
  • gibasgirl, lindsayinport, KeepingTheFaith and 3 others like this
Me 40: Total tubal blockage, 1 ovary, DOR DH 35: Poor motilityTTC since 1998DS natural conception 1996DS&DD ivf icsi 2008DS ivf icsi 2013.Our family is complete.Donated four frosties. IP's got bfp!

#10 frostedlemon

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Posted 18 June 2012 - 06:30 PM

Not knowing. Before, not knowing if we'll ever have children at all. Now, not knowing if we'll be able to have a second. Obviously the uncertainty now is a lot better to deal with than the former, but if we knew either way, it would be a lot easier to come to terms with it and move on or wait until it happened, but not knowing drives me nuts. Everyone else I know gets to choose whether they will or will not have another, but I get to play the lottery when I feel like I've already won the jackpot once.
  • sheba, KeepingTheFaith and shellybaby30 like this

#11 Red Wine

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Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:43 PM

Feeling invisible in a world of fertiles


This sums up my feelings.

Feelings of loneliness of being infertile in a uber fertile world.
  • Lisa1981, juice, ollie2013 and 1 other like this

See about me page.

#12 klew

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Posted 19 June 2012 - 10:29 AM

The Waiting. OMG the never-ending waiting.

The Uncertainty - will I ever be able to have a child?

Stress on my marriage. Anger at my husband for his wavering on what he wants.
  • lindsayinport, Highest hopes and barbikins like this
Me: 31, Asherman's Syndrome, annovulatory thin PCOS
DH: 34, Olympian swimmers
TTC almost 2 years
Referral to RFP took 5 months
June/11 50 mg clomid - no response per CD21 b/w
July/11 100 mg clomid - no response per CD21 b/w.... BUT must have ovulated late, BFP, m/c @ 7.5 wks, D&C Sept 16/11
Switched clinics - VFC
Oct/11 100 mg clomid + hcg trigger - late ovulation and thin lining, IUI cancelled, BFN
Nov/11 7.5mg Femara - 2 great follies but 2mm lining CD14....AS suspected
SHG Feb/12 diagnosed moderate/severe Asherman's
Hyst/lap Mar/12 in LA; f/u HSG shows some rescarring
Hyst in LA May/12
July 18/12 SHG - only minimal scarring in corners! Cavity looks great, lining still 4.5mm, start BCP for IVF #1
IVF #1 - Estrogen priming protocol, low dose. ER Sept 9/12 - 23 eggs, 19 fertilized normally. Lining ok (for me) at 6mm but high progesterone so no transfer. Froze 15 d5 blasts.
FET#1 - ET Nov 5/12 - one awesome grade 19 embie, lining 6.9mm with endometrial cyst

#13 Jo1984

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Posted 19 June 2012 - 03:57 PM

What I hated about the process...

that its such a crapshoot and you can only control the process to a certain extent : (
  • Laura1976 likes this
DX PCOS and slight male factor
6 cycles clomiid
2 failed IVFs

Moved onto to Adoption via CAS
Homestudy/Pride Jan 2012
Matched(foster to adopt program) July 2013 to our little man he is the light of our life!

So blessed :-)

#14 Red Wine

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  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 19 June 2012 - 07:42 PM

The uncertainty of infertility too. Not just with regards to, "will we ever have child/ren", but "should I look for a new job b/c I'm unhappy", "should I go on vacation or will we be doing treatment", etc.
  • Lisa1981, CIM, Nerium and 1 other like this

See about me page.

#15 Dandem

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Posted 19 June 2012 - 08:22 PM

- The waiting
- All the preggos around me
- The looks of pity from fertiles
  • juice likes this
TTC#1 since February 2010
Femera cycles #1-4 BFN
LAP #1 - December 1, 2011 - Diagnosied with bilateral hydrosalpinx
HCG - L tube open, R hydrosalpinx
LAP#2 - May 9, 2012 - Clamped R tube & remove moderate to severe endo
IUI #1 - June 2012 - cancelled, no growth on L side.
IUI #1 (take 2) - July 2012 - cancelled, overstimulation
Aug 14 - Sign Consent for IVF

IVF #1 - September/October 2012
Aug 30 - Start BCP
Sept 12 - Start Suprefact
Sept 14 - Finish BCP
Sept 20 - Start Puregon & Microdose hCG
Oct 5 - Retrieval Day! 12 eggs retrieved - 12 mature and fertilized
Oct 9 - Transfered 2 beautiful 8 cell grade 4 embryos; 8 left to freeze
Oct 16 - First ever BFP!!!!!!!
Oct 22 - Beta - 489.7
Oct 24 - 2nd Beta - 899
Oct 26 - 3rd Beta - 2166
Nov 3 - early ultrasound - it's TWINS!!

#16 rokgerl

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  • Location:Calgary, AB
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Posted 20 June 2012 - 12:45 PM

I'm tired...

of hearing "I'm sorry".
of others treating my situation as a vouyeristic experience/guilty pleasure/soap opera where they come to get their "fix".
of getting pictures of children in the mail with Christmas cards.
of saying "when we have kids we won't do x, y, z" because I don't know if we will actually get there.
of the fact that I can't seem to find the optimism anymore.
of being guarded.

#17 Flossie

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Posted 20 June 2012 - 04:56 PM

Of people saying stupid & trite things like, "if He led you to it, He'll lead you through it" and "must not be meant to happen", etc. seriously, I could firebomb someone if I hear these things ever again!
  • nervus optimist, rokgerl, kristeen033 and 2 others like this
TTC for 9+ years

#18 gibasgirl

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  • Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 20 June 2012 - 05:23 PM

"must not be meant to happen", etc. seriously, I could firebomb someone if I hear these things ever again!


I very much hate dislike that one. Both my mother and MIL have said that to me thinking it would make me feel better. WTH? Really? I'm supposed to say "thanks, I feel better now that you've told me I'm doomed. Let's smile & hug."
  • Heather S, leigh14, ladylazarus and 4 others like this

#19 gibasgirl

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  • Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 20 June 2012 - 05:24 PM

Oh, the cost. Is everything IVF-related in $1000 increments?
  • Flossie and rokgerl like this

#20 Dillydally

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    Cupcake guru

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  • Interests:Cupcakes! Gardening, reading mystery books and salivating at pictures in cookbooks.
  • Dx:DOR
  • My Clinic:McGill reproductive center

Posted 04 July 2012 - 05:23 PM

My mom talking about adoption all the time. DH and I will decide when to have that discussion, if at all.

Me- 37, DH - 46
Dx: DOR

Please see my profile for prior history

 

Blood test to check for antiovarian antibodies (AOA)  in early September 2013

Follow up appointment with endocrinologist October 10th 2013 (FX AOA please be gone!)

Oct. 10th 2013 - AOA are gone!!!!

Oct. 18th 2013 - Appointment with Dr. H to review protocol

Oct. 24th 2013 - Start taking prednisone

Oct. 31st 2013 - Stop marvelon after taking 6 packs continuously (yay!!!). Happy Halloween:)

 

IVF 2.2 - November 2013

Low dose protocol with prednisone

Nov. 4th 2013 - U/S 1, all clear, start stims (150 Repronex)

Nov. 7th 2013 - U/S 2: one lonesome follie

Nov. 9th 2013 - Start Orgalutran

Nov. 11th 2013 - U/S3:

Nov. 13th 2013 - U/S4:

Nov. 14th 2013 - U/S5: 3 follies on right (18, 7 and 6 mm) and 1 follie on left (8 mm), trigger at 10 pm

Nov. 16th 2013 - ER...FX!

Nov.17th 2013 - Game over - none fertilized.

 

2014 - Taking a (permanent?) break from IVF

#21 gibasgirl

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  • Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 04 July 2012 - 07:45 PM

The waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting.
  • frostedlemon, Nerium and Wishinandprayin like this

#22 impatient

impatient
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  • Location:Vancouver
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  • My Clinic:public adoption

Posted 04 July 2012 - 08:03 PM

The randomness of it all: it works for some, but not for others; or it might not work the first seven times, but it'll work on the eighth.

The lack of answers: no one, including the RE you've just invested $15,000 in, can tell you why or why not.
  • nervus optimist, gibasgirl, frostedlemon and 3 others like this
Me: 41, DH: 44
TTC: since Jan, 2008 (age 34)

DH: Low morphology, low count. Me: Stage 2-3 endometriosis, non-functional fallopian tubes, small fibroids, low AFC, low poor responder ... anything else?

Jun 2008-Sep 2011 in a nutshell: One HSG, one very traumatic office hysteroscopy, one operative laparoscopy, three fresh IVF/ICSI cycles, one chemical, one early miscarriage, two tubal recanalizations, five IUIs (3 with Clomid).

May 2010 - Aug 2011 Attempted adoption application process through the BC MCFD. Aug 2011 Signed up with a private agency. On both waiting lists as of Apr 2012. Proposal through MCFD Jul 2012. Aug 2012 - Finally ... she's home and we're a family! : )

Adoption application #2 started Aug 2013. DD2 placed May 2014, finalized Feb 2015!


"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison

#23 LMR

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Posted 05 July 2012 - 12:06 PM

Being jealous of preggos, even if they are close to you. Not having enough control to not cry at work when I find out that a close work friend is preg and I am not. Hating myself for all of the above. Dreading all the preg talk that will occur around me in the next 5 months when we are planning fet and just went through fet/missed mc/d&c a couple months ago just as she was getting preg (with the usual I went off the pill and bam! preg!).

Going to be a long day,.
  • lindsayinport, Nerium and barbikins like this

#24 SweetPea33

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Posted 05 July 2012 - 09:09 PM

of people giving me their opinion on which cycle number I should stop at.
  • gibasgirl likes this
m/c April 2009
 
IVF #1 - April 2011 BFN
 
IVF #2 - June 2012 BFN
 
IVF #3 - February 2015 BFP
Beta #1 - 1150 @ 12dp5dt
Beta #2 - 5906 @ 16dp5dt
u/s #1 March 11 - HB 111 measuring 6 weeks
u/s #2 March 18 - HB 143 measuring 6w6d
12 week u/s April 23 -measuring 12w3d
EDD November 3, 2015
ihnwm4.png

#25 gibasgirl

gibasgirl
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  • Interests:I like many things, music (all kinds), tennis, photography, and languages to name a few. Ok, interior and industrial design, opera, and TV. Yes, TV, there are just so many darn good TV shows on the air. Ugh, it's hard to resist.
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 05 July 2012 - 09:13 PM

of people giving me their opinion on which cycle number I should stop at.


OMG yes!!
  • lindsayinport likes this
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