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Cranky Pants - Part two


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#1 Vetter

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Posted 17 May 2012 - 04:04 PM

:)
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#2 Yearning

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Posted 17 May 2012 - 07:13 PM

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Great to see you!! You have been missed. Any crankies out there...new or old?
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#3 gibasgirl

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Posted 17 May 2012 - 07:26 PM

Crank!
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#4 impatient

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Posted 17 May 2012 - 10:30 PM

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Me: 41, DH: 44
TTC: since Jan, 2008 (age 34)

DH: Low morphology, low count. Me: Stage 2-3 endometriosis, non-functional fallopian tubes, small fibroids, low AFC, low poor responder ... anything else?

Jun 2008-Sep 2011 in a nutshell: One HSG, one very traumatic office hysteroscopy, one operative laparoscopy, three fresh IVF/ICSI cycles, one chemical, one early miscarriage, two tubal recanalizations, five IUIs (3 with Clomid).

May 2010 - Aug 2011 Attempted adoption application process through the BC MCFD. Aug 2011 Signed up with a private agency. On both waiting lists as of Apr 2012. Proposal through MCFD Jul 2012. Aug 2012 - Finally ... she's home and we're a family! : )

Adoption application #2 started Aug 2013. DD2 placed May 2014, finalized Feb 2015!


"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison

#5 Behopeful

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Posted 18 May 2012 - 12:21 AM

Hey crankies - missed you all! Been really busy so haven't been online much.
A very long time trying...

Me: 44
DH: 46
TTC History
Sept 1997 - 1st M/C 14 wks
Many childless years...
Oct 2008 - 2nd M/C 9 wks
Jan 2009 - 3rd M/C 8 wks
Jun 2011 - 4th M/C 9 wks

#6 LilRabbit

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Posted 18 May 2012 - 12:34 PM

Hello Cranksters,

I have been away from the forums for a few months, but just returned today as I am starting on another rollercoaster ride in one week.

Good so see some familiar names!

----------------------

ME: 35, PCOS

HUBBY: 38, Low Motility

TTC since 2007

 

My signature is starting to get a bit crazy!!!!

IUI 2007-2008 - 4 failed IUI attempts (1 chemical)

IVF #1 FEB 2010 - Conversion from IUI to IVF.20 eggs retrieved - 2 transfered. 9 frozen - BFP

06/29 - Our little Sebastian was born, spent an hour in his parents arms, then moved on to heaven.

FET #1 NOV 2010 - Sooner than expected - Here we go again! - BFN

FET #2 DEC 2011 - Mentally I think I am ready, but are we ever really ready? - BFN

IVF #2 FEB 2012 - BFN! Again!

IVF #3 JUN 2012 - ER only - ET cancelled due to polyps. Only 1 frozen blast disapointing cycle.

IVF #4 AUG 2012 - Our last chance - BFP!

 

After the joy of learning we were pregnant - we were filled with fear as our little one was diagnosed with an Omphalocele. We have been given a 50/50 chance of carrying to term.  EDD - May 18, 2012

 

Valentines Day 2013 - Our little Cristiano is born @ 25w5d, 910g 

 

Still in the hospital....

 

 


#7 gibasgirl

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Posted 18 May 2012 - 09:26 PM

So I will jump in. So I have been in the trenches of IF for a while. It took me a while to accept it.

Crank: you know what doesn't sit well with me for some reason? When well-meaning fertiles tell me that my DH and I are "deserving" of a baby because of "everything" we have been through and we are "such nice people."

What does it mean if it doesn't happen? That we are actually crappy people? I dunno.
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#8 Behopeful

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 01:48 AM

GG - I've heard it all. One of my favorities is "Maybe that's the way it was meant to be" Gosh - thanks!

In most cases I think people are just stumped and want to say something that sounds supportive and positive because saying "Wow, that really sucks" just isn't socially acceptable (well not yet...)
A very long time trying...

Me: 44
DH: 46
TTC History
Sept 1997 - 1st M/C 14 wks
Many childless years...
Oct 2008 - 2nd M/C 9 wks
Jan 2009 - 3rd M/C 8 wks
Jun 2011 - 4th M/C 9 wks

#9 ValleyGirl

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 07:41 AM

Ugh! Or"everything happens for a reason". Really? Now in response to that I say, "no, there is no reason that I SHOULD be experiencing this, sometimes life just throws you a shitty bone!". Lol! Seriously though, I agree, people say dumb stuff because they don't know what to say. If I have learned one thing from this IF journey is this. Everyone has a story, everyone has their own hurt, I think this has opened my eyes to be more aware of others, and if that is the "reason" I am Currently going through this so be it. Its tough but I truly believe that this will make us better people, better mommies, or that is what I am trying to convince myself :) happy long weekend lovely ladies!
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#10 impatient

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 09:48 AM

My crank: When people completely dismiss me because I don't have children.

"Oh, you don't understand."

"Maybe one day, you'll understand."

"Hahaha, that's funny that Impatient would say that."

(All with a condescending tone as if I'm just not quite smart enough.)

My fallopian tubes are broken; not my brain. If I'm missing out on some vital piece of childrearing information, it's because I haven't had the chance to learn through trial and error like everyone else. It's not like they were all born with some innate knowledge and I wasn't.
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Me: 41, DH: 44
TTC: since Jan, 2008 (age 34)

DH: Low morphology, low count. Me: Stage 2-3 endometriosis, non-functional fallopian tubes, small fibroids, low AFC, low poor responder ... anything else?

Jun 2008-Sep 2011 in a nutshell: One HSG, one very traumatic office hysteroscopy, one operative laparoscopy, three fresh IVF/ICSI cycles, one chemical, one early miscarriage, two tubal recanalizations, five IUIs (3 with Clomid).

May 2010 - Aug 2011 Attempted adoption application process through the BC MCFD. Aug 2011 Signed up with a private agency. On both waiting lists as of Apr 2012. Proposal through MCFD Jul 2012. Aug 2012 - Finally ... she's home and we're a family! : )

Adoption application #2 started Aug 2013. DD2 placed May 2014, finalized Feb 2015!


"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison

#11 gibasgirl

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 04:38 PM

My crank: When people completely dismiss me because I don't have children.

"Oh, you don't understand."

"Maybe one day, you'll understand."

"Hahaha, that's funny that Impatient would say that."

(All with a condescending tone as if I'm just not quite smart enough.)

My fallopian tubes are broken; not my brain. If I'm missing out on some vital piece of childrearing information, it's because I haven't had the chance to learn through trial and error like everyone else. It's not like they were all born with some innate knowledge and I wasn't.


Oh Impatient, that is a BIG pet peeve of mine. There's a Mombie-Dad that I know who says stuff like that to me ALL THE TIME. He gets all surprised when I say stuff like, "kids need nurturing" or "toddlers get cranky when they are tired" and will respond by saying "Oh. I, I, I didn't think you'd know that since (stammer) you...(voice trails off) don't have kids."

Like, what I wasn't a child and the children in my life or basic common sense don't count? He acts like I eat babies with my Cheerios in the mornings.
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#12 mkttc

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 10:17 PM

Happily lurking...
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#13 impatient

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Posted 20 May 2012 - 08:47 AM

He acts like I eat babies with my Cheerios in the mornings.


LOL Is that what people think? I offered my DH and myself as babysitters once to a friend who was feeling overwhelmed and she never took us up on our offer. Now I know why!! Posted Image
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Me: 41, DH: 44
TTC: since Jan, 2008 (age 34)

DH: Low morphology, low count. Me: Stage 2-3 endometriosis, non-functional fallopian tubes, small fibroids, low AFC, low poor responder ... anything else?

Jun 2008-Sep 2011 in a nutshell: One HSG, one very traumatic office hysteroscopy, one operative laparoscopy, three fresh IVF/ICSI cycles, one chemical, one early miscarriage, two tubal recanalizations, five IUIs (3 with Clomid).

May 2010 - Aug 2011 Attempted adoption application process through the BC MCFD. Aug 2011 Signed up with a private agency. On both waiting lists as of Apr 2012. Proposal through MCFD Jul 2012. Aug 2012 - Finally ... she's home and we're a family! : )

Adoption application #2 started Aug 2013. DD2 placed May 2014, finalized Feb 2015!


"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison

#14 gibasgirl

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Posted 20 May 2012 - 09:37 AM

Sadly, for some, the answer is yes.
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#15 sharlene

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Posted 20 May 2012 - 11:43 AM

He acts like I eat babies with my Cheerios in the mornings.


LOL Is that what people think? I offered my DH and myself as babysitters once to a friend who was feeling overwhelmed and she never took us up on our offer. Now I know why!! Posted Image


Do you travel? I'd take you up on it!
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#16 gibasgirl

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Posted 21 May 2012 - 01:52 PM

Crank: my SIL has turned into a Mombie-tyrant. She treats everyone, including my MIL, like knuckle-dragging imbeciles when it comes to any and everything related to babies -- especially hers.

Mind you, my MIL raised 4 children and had 5 pregnancies. But for some reason she (SIL) thinks it is appropriate to belittle and demean everyone in the presence of her darling when comes to baby matters. (You're not holding the baby properly, if you drop the baby I swear I'm gonna...and getting contolling about everything. And contradicting herself saying something is not cool to do, then doing it.) It is not a good example. Not sure how much more of it I will be able to take. Sadly I cannot avoid her either.
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#17 Lucretia

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Posted 21 May 2012 - 04:30 PM

Meh, I know how you feel, GG. Sending you tons of virtual hugs Posted Image
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#18 gibasgirl

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Posted 21 May 2012 - 11:48 PM

Thanks Lucretia. It is soooo good to be understood and to be around people who "get it."

#19 gibasgirl

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 04:42 PM

Ok, I'm watching a talkshow (Anderson) and he has a guest on the show who is talking about his "relationship" with a doll. One of those life-sized dolls that men can, ahem, "show their physical affection towards." His wife approves. Says it's a way to balance his libido. He takes the doll on roadtrips. The doll (Bianca) is sitting on the couch wih him. I'm trying not to judge, but it is odd.
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#20 impatient

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 06:13 PM

Hmmm ... which would be harder to accept: partner having an affair with a person, or partner having an affair with a piece of plastic??

Give me the person any day. I don't think my self-esteem could take competing with a doll!
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Me: 41, DH: 44
TTC: since Jan, 2008 (age 34)

DH: Low morphology, low count. Me: Stage 2-3 endometriosis, non-functional fallopian tubes, small fibroids, low AFC, low poor responder ... anything else?

Jun 2008-Sep 2011 in a nutshell: One HSG, one very traumatic office hysteroscopy, one operative laparoscopy, three fresh IVF/ICSI cycles, one chemical, one early miscarriage, two tubal recanalizations, five IUIs (3 with Clomid).

May 2010 - Aug 2011 Attempted adoption application process through the BC MCFD. Aug 2011 Signed up with a private agency. On both waiting lists as of Apr 2012. Proposal through MCFD Jul 2012. Aug 2012 - Finally ... she's home and we're a family! : )

Adoption application #2 started Aug 2013. DD2 placed May 2014, finalized Feb 2015!


"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison

#21 ValleyGirl

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 07:22 PM

I think I would rather find out my DH had a pension for plastic, you could destroy the doll and not get thrown in the slammer! ;)
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#22 frostedlemon

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 07:37 PM

I'd be mad. You hate condoms, but you like the plastic doll?

Condoms should be like having a three way!
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#23 gibasgirl

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 07:42 PM

Hmm, you bring up a good question, Impatient. Hmm, would I rather have my partner get it on with, well, a mannequin, or real person? Then there's the whole "does he have feelings for her" question.

The "affair of the heart sucks" but the physical transgression is hard too. I've been cheated on and it was awful getting concrete evidence of what your heart suspects.

So generally both situations suck. Let me try ranking them from worst to less worse.

1. Having my partner Publicly announce to millions of random strangers on TV that he has feelings for a rubber, open-mouthed doll. (Well her mouth was closed. Guess that maked her a "classy doll." But you get the point.

2. Having my partner announce to the world that he is banging a life-sized rubber doll.

3. Being cheated on with a live person. My GAWD it's crazy typing that because it cannot be assumed in that man's life. My goodness.

4. Not being able to find a divorce lawyer fast enough because my partner is banging a rubber doll.
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#24 gibasgirl

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 07:43 PM

Ahhh, FL. Good point. Rubber doll. Condoms. Hmmm. I think you're onto something.
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#25 gibasgirl

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 07:23 PM

I'm on a crank roll.

So just yesterday I'm putting the remaining dinner plates into the dishwasher. My DH decides to "help" I am finishing (how sweet) and he says to me "this is a good system, we should do this all the time."

Um, you mean put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher like I always ask/remind you to do but you keep putting them in the sink anyway even after saying "yes dear?"

I especially like it when he brings a plate, cutlery and coffee mug to the dishwasher and puts the plate in the machine, and the mug and cutlery in the sink. WTH!

Yeah, great idea you came up with, DH. Maybe next week you can come up with putting your dirty clothing inside the hamper instead of beside it. Start a revolution, bb.