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male factor infertility...


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#1 Reese lightnin

Reese lightnin
  • Global 100+
  • 932 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Victoria, BC
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:VFC

Posted 04 May 2012 - 12:31 PM

Hello everyone,

We are dealing with male factor I am finding it hard to really feel I can show my emotions and dissapointment each month. We are on our second IUI without much hope for success...then onto IVF. I am 38 and he is 44.

Is anyone else dealing with male factor infertility and have ideas on how to deal with it as a team?? How to be sensitive to him but still be able to show how you are feeling too and needing support??

Baby Emerson born June 3 weighing 8 lbs 7 oz!!!!

#2 farmguysgirl

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  • 177 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Central AB
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:RFC

Posted 04 May 2012 - 09:27 PM

Hi Reese. We are dealing with male factor, as well as my pcos. It's tough. I think we need to show our emotions, even if it's hard. But it's most important that we don't direct our anger and disappointment toward them. It's not their choice. There isn't anything they can do about it. It's just the way God made them. It's usually tougher on them than they are willing to show too, so I think we need to be sensitive to their needs. A delicate balancing act!! Just some thots...
me 31, DH 39married 12 yrsconceived naturally, miscarried @12 wks March 2001conceived naturally, DD born 2002me PCOS, DH low spermTTC #2 since 2003, 2 failed IUI's, started adoption paperworkIVF #1 on waitlist since Sept 23/11, file moved to active Feb 07/12antagonist cycleBCP Mar 17-Apr 6/12baseline u/s Apr 4/12gonal-f and luveris Apr 10ER Apr 25 - 5 mature eggs out of 13 retrieved!!ET Apr 27 - 2 embryostest day - May 13, Mother's Day (is that cruel or wonderful??)it's cruel. it's a negative. B.F.N NEXT...followup appt June 4/12-aim for another ivf October-ishMeanwhile...big surprise!!! YES+ on an hpt July 4!!!!YES+ July 5...and July's for real
Our miracle son arrives Feb 24/13 8lbs 10oz

#3 JenniferJ

  • Member
  • 76 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Winnipeg, Manitoba
  • Interests:crafts, card making, but all I can think about is conceiving a baby
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:Heartland Fertility clinic

Posted 09 May 2012 - 04:27 PM

We are also dealing with male infertility. We are currently doing ICSI and as of today 5 eggs fertilized with ET on friday. My DH's low and slow is due to an accident that occured 6 mos before we got married 4 yrs ago and it was very hard to realizr that we would never naturally conceive. When told to do ICSI we were concerned about the financial aspect. In the end this process has brought us closer together. He always asks me if I blame him, in reality it could have been either of us who was the problem. The KEY is to not lay blame!!! Love him for who he is and be honest about your feelings.
ME-38 DH-43
TTC- 4 yrs
Dx- Male factor

1st appointment at Heartland was 13 Jan 11
HSG showed clear tubes
My b/w all clear
Low and slow sperm, froze sample

12 Feb 12- ICSI suggested
26mar12- AF
27mar12- BFN so started BCP
06apr12- start 20iu/day suprefact
11apr12- stop BCP
18apr12- u/s and b/w, Lt ovary hiding behind uterus
27apr12- start 300iu/day menopur
3may12- b/w E2 good
4may12- u/s, Lt ovary still hiding, follicles=5 on rt and 3 on lt
6may12- u/s and b/w, ready to retrieve on 8th, trigger 9pm
8may12- ET at 9am 6 eggs
9may12- 5 fertilized embryos
11may12- transferred 3 grade C embryos...PUPO!
24may12-HCG 266.9....BFP!!!
13june12- U/S- saw two sacs, two little bodies and most importantly....two heartbeats!!!!
11july12- last u/s at heartland and saw the two most beautiful little babies and their cute little hand, feet, and heartbeats.

#4 kostosa

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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Male Factor

Posted 11 May 2012 - 09:31 PM

We are dealing with male factor too and we use humour, but i also need outlets outside of my dh in order to process and express everything i am feeling without impacting him.

#5 Feisty

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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:N/A

Posted 17 May 2012 - 03:37 PM

Hi everyone
Dh and I must of fell of the infertility tree and hit every branch on the way down. We had been to the best reproductive urologists money could buy and were told by all there is no hope for dh to be the bio dad of the child we want so much. His medical condition cannot be corrected. I think time and talking about our options just he and I and us with the doctors was key. It took 2yrs for dh to come to terms with the problem and come up with the solution we were willing to use.
Myself, I've had 5 surgeries starting at the age of 17 for my fertility. Im now 37, have pcos, adhesions, endometriosis, had polyps and a congenital abnormality of my uterus and a spinal fusion which was done thru my abdomen. We will be starting our 3rd round of ivf in a month or so. I was able to get pregnant this last time but I'm loosing our baby in the next few days I was told. Dh and I are devistated that our one and only BFP has been taken away from us after 10yrs of ttc.
My advise to you would be instead of holding resent towards your dh to put that energy to use in coming up with the solution to your problems. You really got to be there for each other. I wouldn't want my dh to say it was my fault for loosing our baby... That would really hurt. He cares enough about us to be ok with a donor. My dreams of being a mother wouldn't exist if he didn't make this choice. He is hurt just as bad about our loss not being the bio dad. Infertility has forever changed us, we are no longer the happy people we used to be. I'm sure I've aged unnecessarily over this too. Please try and find it in your hearts to be there for each other. I wish you all the success in the world!
  • Lucretia likes this
DH 40, ME 39 expecting our first (it's a girl!) 4/6/13 after 11+ yrs TTC and 4 back to back lossesI have endo, PCOS, both gene mutations MTHFR, slightly elevated thyroid,blood clotting disorder, had endometrial polyps, born with large uterine septum that was removed and urological abnormality that will cost me my kidney in a couple yrs.14 GYN surgeries, and 6 other surgeries including multiple lumbar surgeries IVF# 9 W ICSI and PGD, stims started 7/1/13, ER 7/14/139 embryos sent out for PGD 4 came back normal 2 girls & 1 boy survived andwere transferred on 7/19/13. 5DP5DT faint positive and each day getting darker.8/4/13 5 weeks emergency scan due to severe pain, shows enlarged ovaries and ruptured cyst. we also saw a tiny gestational sac, put on restrictions and basically can do nothing 8/15/13 2nd scan @ 6.4 weeks shows strong little heartbeat and enlarged ovaries, still on restrictions. 8/23 urgent scan @ 7.5 weeks for clotting and bleeding showed heart beating away and growing baby, no bleed seen in around baby or in uterus. Continue restrictions, DC baby aspirin continue all other meds including Lovenox and 4th scan scheduled for 9/4. Ended up having 6 massive bleeds and taken off Lovenox. Spent the entire first tri on bedrest. taken off PIO, Estrogen and prednisone at 12.1 weeks. First OB appt 13.1 weeks. Spotting, bleeding and some massive bleeds thru the entire 1st tri and part of the 2nd. 2nd tri had placenta previa and cervical shortening issues. Made it to 26 weeks which wasn't far enough along to have steriod injections, more rest. Made it to 28 weeks and cervix was long enough not to be too concerned, steroid injections are on hold. Was officially off bed rest @28 weeks. 30 weeks lost 8lbs. 32 weeks gained 8lbs and the start of preeclampsia. Currently being monitored very closely and seeing several specialists to find out when exactly we need to deliver. Lots of tests done and a couple ultrasounds to date (33.6 weeks) 02/22/14. After being carefully monitored several times a week DD was born via c-section 3/13/14. 5.9lbs, 18 inches, spent 6 days in NICU born @ 36 weeks

#6 smurfette_w

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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Male Factor

Posted 21 May 2012 - 09:47 PM

Hi Reese,

We are dealing with a male infertility issue, and we both have a recessive trait genetic disease as well. As much as I'd like to think how much easier it would have been if I haven't married my DH, I know I'd rather have my DH and have no child than a different DH with a child. I married my husband for who he was, not for what he wasn't and if we can't build a family together (both he and I are uncomfortable with DS), then we can still spend the rest of lives together doing things that we love, like snowboarding and travelling and diving and golfing, etc. It hasn't really changed our relationship because we are very active people and our lives do not surround or depend on having a child, though having one would be great as well. When we found out about his condition, he was really upset, but I reassured him that knowing the problem is half the battle. I know he feels guilty having to put me through all this, but I always remind him that in the end, it's about us building a family together, not what I have to go through to build a family for us. Don't let him blame himself, it doesn't help the process at all. You must remain positive and feel positive. Good luck!
  • Lucretia likes this


Me: genetic issues
DH: genetic issues, MFI

TTC since Summer 2009

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