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For those of us sick of shovelling


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#1 YK Andrea

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 03:40 PM

Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler


December 8 6:00 PM



It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!


December 9



We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along

and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!


December 12



The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.


December 14



Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.

The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.

This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.

I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.


December 15



20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.


December 16



Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.


December 17



Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom.


December 20



Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.

More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying.

Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.


December 22



Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest

of the winter, but he says he's too busy.

I think the ***** is lying.


December 23



Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.


December 24



6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought

I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!

Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.


December 25



Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed In!!!
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.


December 26



Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.


December 27



Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.


December 28



Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!


December 29



10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?


December 30



Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.


December 31



I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.


January 8



Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
Me:29++ DH 39TTC May 2001Male Factor-Currently PTs. of VFCIVF/ICSI #1 March 2006[/font]Successful transfer! BFP!!!!Its a Girl! Aubrey Victoria Linette was born December 18, 2006 a whopping 8lbs 13 oz! Shes a treasure!

IVF #2 BFN NO Frosties

IVF#3/09 - ER Feb 23rd, 24 potential embies retreived!!!!!!!
Feb 24 - 19 fertilized and growing!
Transfered 3 8 cell grade 19 embryos on Feb 27, sticky babies stick!
March 11 BETA 318!!!!! and thrilled!
March 13 BETA 721!!!
Averai, Annika and Wyatt born at 36 weeks on October 20!

FB Andrea Sluggett

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#2 Rick

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 03:53 PM

Isn't that the way it is. I can relate to his feelings about the snowplow.

#3 edaase

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 03:58 PM

So funny!!! THanks for the laugh! I thought you were describing where I live for half of the story - that is exactly what happened here! I will have to read this to DH, he will get a real kick out of it!! Thanks again!
Me 35 DH 35
TTC - 3.5 yrs
Feb 08 - both tubes removed
1st IVF Cancelled
2nd IVF/ICSI Jan 09
Syneral Dec 27/08
Menopur 225 Jan 7/09
ER Jan 18/09
One little embie..that didnt make it to transfer...
3rd IVF/ICSI March/April 09
Antagonist Protocol - 450iu of Gonal F
May 22nd start stims no suppression no bcp!
THIS IS GOING TO WORK!!!!

#4 Nickster

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Posted 28 December 2008 - 08:36 PM

Currently have tears running down my face...haven't laughed that hard in don't know HOW long :)

Nice to see folks all across the country are in the same boat!! Thanks for the giggles.

PS: I think your snowplow driver makes stops in Toronto too!!
Me (Nicki) 44 DH (Kevin) 45
2 furbabies in heaven in '09..I miss you both
Welcomed our new furbaby, Angus 12/09 2nd furbaby, Kismet (aka Haz-Mat) adopted 2/10
Married 1999; Natural pg 2003; m/c 6 weeks
IVF#1: Agonist Protocol, full ICSI & AH
ER 9/06/08: 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized ET 9/09/08:(3) 8 cell embies
Beta 9/23/08 195 Beta 9/25 439
1st u/s 10/08 Non-viable pg @ 6 weeks (again at 6th week...hmmm....)
Nov/Dec: Flottila of tests requested by us to help rule out reasons for m/c; awaiting results.
May 2009: moved to new clinic; awaiting more test results before deciding how to proceed. Tick tock...
July 2009: AMH 18.8, FSH 7; all looks good BUT my eggs are still old. Time is precious, moving on to DE.
Sept 2009: Donor selected at last!
DER est. 11/24; ET 11/27
11/16/09: donor not responding well to stims. Sigh. What now??
11/17/09: 1st set of IP's going exclusive; we're sitting on the curb.
12/07/09: found a new donor (whew). Cycling in Feb 2010?
2/27/10: CD2 check done; DE retrieval est. 3/16/10...here we go again!
3/14/10: Donor triggering; ER 3/16, ET 3/19
3/17/10: (shared cycle) 12 retrieved, 7 mature, 4 fertilized. Four??!!!! Thud.
3/19/10: ET (2) 8 cells 'Laurel & Hardy'; (1) 9 cell frozen.
HPT's all negative. Beta Good Friday 4/02 BFN.
Next step is FET with our lone frostie. Not optimistic. Sigh.
6/21/10: Took an emotional break and feeling better. Will try our FET in late summer and then we're done. But it's all good now :)


RIP, Dad 3/30/10. I'm glad you're no longer in pain but my heart aches.

#5 Victoria

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Posted 31 December 2008 - 12:35 PM

Hilarious!
1st Clomid Cycle - Summer 2005, BFN/ 1st Monitored Natural Cyle - 2008, BFN/ 1st IVF - September 2008, BFN/ 2nd IVF - January 2009, BFN/ 1st IUI (medicated) - October 2009, BFN/; 1st Donor Egg Cycle Jan 2011, low beta - BFN; 1st FET - February 2011, BFN; Second DE cycle - July 2011, BFN. ON ROAD TO ADOPTION or SURROGACY - 2012 OR 2013
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