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Filled with anxiety, scared of another mmc


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#1 BCMom

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Posted 16 July 2020 - 08:44 PM

Last year my babys heart stopped beating at 9 weeks 2 days...we were so sure that everything was fine and then i will never forget that 10 week ultrasound....

Fast forward and i am now 8 weeks and scared out of my mind. Every second of this pregnancy is tainted by worries and memory.... i am just having such a hard time....it didnt help that my clinic was taken over recently by PCRM and they do things in a much less friendly way....i felt like i was basically kicked out the door at 7 weeks...actually i felt like they want their success number, so if they get me discharged before anything bad happens, then it doesnt affect their success rates. So i have gotten a midwife and set everything up for tests but my ultrasounds are for tomorrow (8 weeks)(i am so freaked out what will hapoen esoecially since my partner cant be with me) and 12 weeks which leaves me a month of worrying

Sorry for rambling if anyone can relate, has any input or suggestions on how to cope i would appreciate it... :-)

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#2 Daisy.Eriksen

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Posted 17 July 2020 - 10:01 AM

Hi BCMom, I have been thinking about you! It is such an anxious time. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well today. Please let me know how it goes! 

I don't have any advice about how to make it through the 8-12 week process without being super nervous, especially given your history. Perhaps you could talk to your family doctor about giving you a u/s req at the 10-week mark? 

Perhaps it's just a matter of taking it day by day, and take each milestone as it comes? For now, let's get through today's scan. Good luck!


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#3 returnable

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Posted 17 July 2020 - 06:16 PM

BCMom I have also been thinking about you. Like Daisy suggests the u/s req from your family doctor and even a beta-HCG just to see what your numbers are doing? I don't know there is much more than that to help especially since between those two periods a lot of times the symptoms if you already have any can completely disappear and you lose that comfort of feeling at least something.



#4 BCMom

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Posted 17 July 2020 - 07:19 PM

Hi BCMom, I have been thinking about you! It is such an anxious time. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well today. Please let me know how it goes! 
I don't have any advice about how to make it through the 8-12 week process without being super nervous, especially given your history. Perhaps you could talk to your family doctor about giving you a u/s req at the 10-week mark? 
Perhaps it's just a matter of taking it day by day, and take each milestone as it comes? For now, let's get through today's scan. Good luck!



Hi Daisy

Thanks, i really appreciate you responding! I am really working on being in the moment and appreciating that moment when it is good. This is good practice in all parts of our lives...
Today was a good moment, baby is fine heart rate 169 and measuring correctly for 8 weeks so i am embracing that and trying to ignore the other voice that says 'but you still gotta make it to 12 weeks' Not sure if my midwife will do an extra scan, i did mention wanting one before with no go, but i will be seeing an OB as well so maybe i will have some luck there..

I really am happy though and felt a little glimmer of hope for the first time...:-)
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Tang71  


#5 BCMom

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Posted 17 July 2020 - 07:42 PM

BCMom I have also been thinking about you. Like Daisy suggests the u/s req from your family doctor and even a beta-HCG just to see what your numbers are doing? I don't know there is much more than that to help especially since between those two periods a lot of times the symptoms if you already have any can completely disappear and you lose that comfort of feeling at least something.


Hi returnable,

Thanks for responding!:-)

I think they arent as likely to do as many scans right now due to covid, trying to reduce possible spread...i directly told midwife my story and asked for an extra scan but still ended up with only 8 weeks and 12 weeks. However, i will be also seeing an OB once so maybe i can squeeze one out of that appointment....

And yes! Part of my problem is that i never have strong symptoms anyways and then of course there are times when symptomsc fade/fluctuate which does not help to build my confidence....

But for today and this moment baby is fine. Had an 8 week scan and heart rate was 169 and little bean measuring on track....so for now in this moment, i am happy!
  • hopefuldadsomeday likes this

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#6 returnable

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Posted 19 July 2020 - 11:10 AM

I'm so happy that your u/s was great. I get that you can't do any more diagnostics easily during these times. Then I think the only other thing you could do is either some self-coaching, or seeing a counselor. I know if I get pregnant again, due to my baby being born so early I will have A LOT of anxiety. I know it does not compare to having a miscarriage, but I know I will have to keep telling myself that everything is okay, unless someone says otherwise. That I have faith and trust in my doctors and they will do all they can to help and then constantly reassure myself that there is nothing else I can do. I know this doesn't solve your problem, but honestly it's really the only thing you can do to get through this.



#7 happyfrog

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Posted 21 July 2020 - 07:20 AM

awesome news, stay positive and pamper yourself. x



#8 hopefuldadsomeday

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Posted 28 July 2020 - 03:11 PM

No enlightening advice here, but like others said, stay positive!  Having gone through 3 miscarriages before, I can kind of relate to what you are going through.  We would be super anxious for any bloodwork and U/S results.  Try to find something to distract you?  I try not to look into symptoms too much.  Our first FET, my wife felt symptoms and was a BFN.  Second FET she had no symptoms at all and thought for sure we were out, but ended up successful.  Hoping your next U/S shows you a healthy baby.


March 2016 - Miscarriage #1 (chemical pregnancy)

August 2016 -  Miscarriage #2 (Trisomy-16)

December 2016 - Miscarriage #3 (unknown - suspected chromosomal abnormality)

IVF #1 - Aug 2017 (estrogen priming antagonist protocol) - 9 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 blastocysts, only 1 PGS normal embryo 5BB mitoscore 25.1 (frozen)

IVF #2 - Nov 2017 (estrogen priming antagonist protocol - with testosterone priming and growth hormone) - 7 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized with ICSI, 1 blastocyst PGS-normal 5BB mitoscore 33.12 (frozen)

IVF #3 - Jan 2018 (estrogen priming antagonist protocol with growth hormone) -  4 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 1 blastocyst PGS-normal 6BB mitoscore 29.82 (frozen)

FET #1 - March 2018 - cancelled due to thin lining (6.25mm)

FET #1.2 - April 2018 - cancelled due to thin lining again! (4.85mm)

FET #1.3 - June 4, 2018 (lining 7.5mm!) - th_abfn.gif

ERA Aug 2018 - Pre-receptive by 1 day

FET #2 - Sep 18, 2018 (lining 6.9mm) th_abfp.gif  Beta #1: Sep 30, 2018 - 682  Beta #2: Oct 6,2018 - 6656 U/S: Oct 15 - measuring 6w4d (CRL 6.87mm), HR 127bpm! U/S: Oct 25 - measuring 8w1d (CRL 16.69mm), HR 168bpm!  Discharged to midwives!  June 7, 2019: It's a girl!  DD born 7lb 2oz babygirl.gif