4 replies to this topic

[yaenaSK]

I found out today (what would have been 9weeks) that our baby's heartbeat is gone. It was a high risk first trimester, with my gestational sac measuring two weeks behind the entire time (our baby measured about a week behind, but had a strong heartbeat initially). Our doctor estimates the baby died at about the 8w4d mark, measuring 7w4d.

Anyone know what a miscarriage this far along will be like? My doctor warned me the bleeding can be pretty significant, but not to panic unless I soak through two pads in two hours. How bad will the cramping be? How long will it take? I have had two chemicals/losses at about the 4-5 week mark, and one was a little heavier than a normal period, but otherwise they were pretty much the same as my regular period. This one makes me nervous.

[mouse]

((You))  Fingers crossed you're getting the care and support you need at this difficult time. Be gentle with yourself.

[Daisy.Eriksen]

I'm so sorry Yaena. 

 

My loss was earlier than yours and it's all so personal, but here are some of my thoughts on options.

 

1. Wait for it to happen naturally. 

I think there is something to be said to let your body take care of it naturally. No meds, feel the pain, see the baby, get the closure.

On the other hand, there is unpredictability of not knowing when it will happen, and sometimes the risk of retained tissue.

I waited about 2.5 weeks (heartbeat probably stopped Sept 14, confirmation Sept 21, took meds Oct 3) so I ended up taking misoprostol because I couldn't stand the uncertainty, and I didn't want it to happen while we were visiting family for Thanksgiving or when my husband was away on a trip (all basically a year ago to the day). I might have waited longer for it to happen naturally otherwise.

 

2. Take misoprostol or other medication.

I was measuring 6+1 so it was quite small. I wanted to feel the pain and see the baby to get closure. But it didn't look like a baby, too early. I wonder if it would have been more traumatic to see a little fetus. 

It was pretty textbook once I took the meds, and I passed it about 4 hours later, and the worst of it was done about 12 hours after taking the meds. Some people have to take the meds again the next day.

It hurt. I felt nauseous, had heartburn like nothing else. and cramps that were terrible. But the bad pain only lasted less than an hour. Then there were contraction-like pains for an hour or two but that was only slightly worse than a bad period.

There's a good thread in this board about people's experiences with misoprostol at different stages of pregnancy that I found helpful last year.

 

3: Have a D&C.

At the time, I was worried about whether a D&C would affect my lining (I'm not sure if that's even a thing), and like I said, I wanted the closure of seeing / feeling everything. But after my experience, I thought that if I were measuring much further along, I might be tempted to go for a D&C. Especially if there was enough tissue for testing. Even in Toronto, there seems to be a bit of a wait to schedule one, so I'm not sure how hard it would be in your city. 

 

 

In general, I would stock up on large pads, as you shouldn't use tampons to avoid infection. I like Always Infinity size 5 and then I doubled up so I had protection from one end to the other of my underwear, and I didn't have any accidents. The clots were big and there was a fair amount of bleeding, but it wasn't as horrible as I thought. Again, might have been because I wasn't too far along.

I'd probably also see if you can get some prescription pain medication, I don't know how bad cramping is with a natural m/c, but with miso, I wish I had taken pain meds more often. 

 

 

I'm so sorry you have to go through it. It is so sad and difficult. I hope you don't have long to wait and it passes uneventfully. Sending you love. 

[janny82]

YaeanaSK- I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I just recently had one around the same gestation as you (a couple days shy of 9 weeks) due to a blighted ovum. I think everyone’s experience is a little different, but for me I had already been spotting and it gradually got heavier after stopping my meds. Within 4-5 days I had 2 days of heavy bleeding and clots, cramping was a little worse than my period but nothing a little Advil couldn’t fix. I used the longer overnight pads, and once I had passed the sac the bleeding subsided quite significantly, just some bleeding/spotting for another 4-5 days. I am still being monitored until my HCG reaches 0, which can take awhile at this stage. Had I not started bleeding within a week of stopping meds, I had planned to take misoprostal to get things going (I have also taken that before and the cramping was very painful, so if you end up going that route, don’t be afraid to ask for some prescription pain medication).
Again, I’m so sorry you are going through this. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions or just want to chat ♥️

[yaenaSK]

Thank you everyone.

 

I did end up miscarrying naturally on Sunday/Monday (so about 5-6 days after the heart stopped beating). Much like janny's experience, the cramping wasn't terrible, was manageable with Advil, and the bleeding slowed a couple of hours after passing the sac. It was much smaller than I expected, but then, I had been measuring small (only around 7 1/2 weeks for the fetus, and only 6 1/2 weeks for the sac).

 

Daisy, I related so much to your comments about wanting to see and feel this experience. I especially said I wanted to feel the pain. Maybe partly as punishment but also as closure.

 

Again, thank you to all of you for sharing. I'm sorry you have walked through this as well.