Afraid.... - IVF Ages 35+ - IVF.ca Forums

Jump to content



Photo
- - - - -

Afraid....


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 25 July 2008 - 09:26 AM

So I thought I was ready to do this again.

AFter the last disaster (8 eggs retreived, 2 fert, no transfer) I thought I'd be ready to jump right back in...

But last night I felt the tell tale AF symptoms..and I lost it.

Totally.

I guess that means I am not ready. Because there was no excitement. None. Just terror. Ugh.

I am sure my nightmare of an ER isn't helping any....

And while I am aware my old eggs are not getting any younger, I am thinking that if I am this stressed about it anyway, it's not a good time...

I'm a bit confused.....it would seem.

*sigh*
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker

#2 baby2be

baby2be

    Running out of Ranks

  • Cyclebase
  • 5572 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Washington, USA
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:NCFMC

Posted 25 July 2008 - 09:42 AM

Jenn- Sorry you feel this way. You know, I don't have the best egg quality, but with my 3rd fresh cycle I did acupuncture and I produced more and better quality eggs. Have you thought about doing acu? Who knows it may help.

Best of luck and I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

Dana
ME-30 DH-39
TTC 8 years
1st IVF May/June 2006- Chem pg
2 FETs-BFN
PCOS, Damaged Tubes
Tubes removed May 2007
2nd. IVF Oct/ Nov 2007- BFN
3rd. IVF Feb/ March 2008- BFN
3rd. FET July/ Aug 2008- BFP Beta 6dp5dt 9, 8dp5dt 45, 11dp5dt 131, 15dp5dt 971, 21dp5dt 3060
4th. FET July 29th, 2010.
BETA 5.5dp5dt 14.6, 7.5dp5dt 53.6,10.5dp5dt 149.4,17.5dp5dt 1902, 19.5dp5dt 3282
Ultrasound showed one little bean!!

Vanessa arrived April 28, 2009!!!
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb3f.lilypie....hp/mhxbh8w.jpg" width="60" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie - Personal picture" /><img src="http://lb3f.lilypie....com/mhxbm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Third Birthday tickers" /></a>

Jaydan arrived April 9, 2011
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie....hp/RmHSFJO.jpg" width="100" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie - Personal picture" /><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie....com/RmHSm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>

#3 stillsmiling

stillsmiling
  • Member
  • 422 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Tennessee
  • Interests:yoga, gardening, home repair tasks, reading
  • Dx:Other
  • My Clinic:NFC

Posted 25 July 2008 - 09:42 AM

Hugs.... :grouphug2:
DP (Joey) 36, me (Cindy) 36
1st IVF January 08
02/07/2008 BFP then m/c
2nd IVF Sept 08 =BFN
3rd IVF Feb 09 = another BFN
changing directions
partner 6 IUI's all BFN
July 2009, started donor egg cycle.
ET Sept 11 = another BFN
One more DE cycle hopefully in January 2010.

Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark.

my blog http://cindysblog-ba...e.blogspot.com/

#4 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 25 July 2008 - 09:57 AM

Yeah, I wish I could do acu, but I have been off work for almost a year (wsib pays 85%) we are hurting much worse financially than if I had been working all this time. Major bummer really.

So I am just not sure I could justify more expense..ya know? I just don't know.

Ugh.

Why can't this just happen the normal way?????

double ugh.
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker

#5 bridgeypie

bridgeypie
  • 1000+
  • 2194 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ottawa
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:Ottawa ON

Posted 25 July 2008 - 10:19 AM

I know Im not "allowed" to reply in this section because my age ticker is only at 25, but my eggs are really old - anterial follicle count of only 11, ER of only 2 egg...and Jen you're the topic starter so I figured I'd let myself butt in :P

Dont be affraid - if ER has you really concerned, why dont you look into somewhere like Mcgill that'll knock ya out before ER?..
Your cycle wasn't a TOTAL disaster, at least you got 8 eggs - maybe they weren't the right ones, its gamble maybe this time they will be better ones - hell I had my one louzy egg and Im still going for in again ASAP...you never know each cycle is totally different you may only get 5 eggs but all make it to day 5!!! Imagine!!!


Do you think the terror you felt all stems down to the ER and needles itself or the pain of knowing it may not work again - or both?...If it's the pain - remember pain is temporary and your stronger then that. If it's the "it didn't work again"...Theres psychologist for that who can really help.

Either way - I really hope you jump on the rollercoaster again I really want you to succeed, I think you're the only reason why I come back to this site - I want you to be preggers and it's my mission in life to hear you come back on these boards in agony over how much more painful childbirth is then ER!!!

Be strong whatever route you choose, and Im always here for you - as your cheerleader!!! :)
Me 25...DH 30....DS 3 ( concieved naturally born dec/05 )
IVF #1 - ER(07/04/08) 6 follies, 1 egg, 3dt of 4 cell grade 3.5 embie = BFN 07/19/09......DISASTER
IVF #2 - ER (09/25/08) 13 follies, 8 eggs 100% fertilization, 5dt 2 cavitating morulas = BFN 10/06/08......Getting Better
IVF #3 - ER (03/01/09) 7 follies, 5 egss, 4 fertilized, transfered 3 embryos 9 cell 3.0, 8 cell 2.5 and 7 cell 2.5 = BFP
Early Beta -13dp3dt 500 Second Beta - 15dp3dt 1649 Third beta -21dp3dt 12,300

G/G/B triplets!!!!

Babies born on due date Oct 14th
Baby A - Alanna Chelsea 5lbs 6oz
Baby B - Benjamin Albert 5lbs
Baby C - Lauren Summer 5lbs

Visit my blog: http://4under4.wordpress.com/

#6 sdmann

sdmann
  • Member
  • 582 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Vancouver
  • Dx:Other

Posted 25 July 2008 - 10:33 AM

Hi hopefulflyer,
I delayed doing a second ivf for 3 years for similar reasons - fear, apprehension, avoidance, you name it. When it came time to give it another go, I knew I was ready. I don't think the fear ever goes away, but you'll know in your heart when it's the right time. I know age is not our ally - I certainly can't wait another 3 years to try again! ... but I wouldn't rush it if your gut says wait.

#7 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 25 July 2008 - 10:34 AM

Heh.

Thanks Bridgie.

I dunno. I guess the fear is from both things. The fear that it will hurt as much or more than last time. The fear that once again we will get nothing.

Not going through even a transfer yet...I just feel like I didnt' even really do a cycle, make sense? I did half.

I guess I just want to enjoy my summer. How selfish is that?

I dont' have a lot of optimism about the whole thing, I don't SEE a baby at the end, so giving up the few nice months of the year to re torture myself, well just seems stupid....LOL

Guess I should work on being more positive huh? hehee.

I am DEFINITELY not cycling this AF whenever she gets here. MAYBE next month. But I am NOT ready yet. No way.

Should I call the clinic to tell them, or just pretend that AF was 60 days away?

Seriously, I am not even really sure what to tell them at this point, any suggestions?
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker

#8 bridgeypie

bridgeypie
  • 1000+
  • 2194 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ottawa
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:Ottawa ON

Posted 25 July 2008 - 12:23 PM

heck I would just call them and tell them just what you told us- you're not ready - you do what's right do you.

I wouldn't mind if you waited -then maybe if I c an go in Sept - maybe you'll be with me again - but wait maybe that's a bad idea, maybe we're bad luck to each other lol!

I dont think it's selfish at all to want the summer to yourself...when I got my BFN I was like hmph - well I can go biking/seadoing I can exercise and we can have SEX ! LOL!!!!!!

Im sure whatever you choose will be the right thing ...hang in there and enjoy the beers over the summer ... I sure will...well ok Im a sissy I only drink daquiries I can't stand beer, but I think I look cool holding one LOL!!
Me 25...DH 30....DS 3 ( concieved naturally born dec/05 )
IVF #1 - ER(07/04/08) 6 follies, 1 egg, 3dt of 4 cell grade 3.5 embie = BFN 07/19/09......DISASTER
IVF #2 - ER (09/25/08) 13 follies, 8 eggs 100% fertilization, 5dt 2 cavitating morulas = BFN 10/06/08......Getting Better
IVF #3 - ER (03/01/09) 7 follies, 5 egss, 4 fertilized, transfered 3 embryos 9 cell 3.0, 8 cell 2.5 and 7 cell 2.5 = BFP
Early Beta -13dp3dt 500 Second Beta - 15dp3dt 1649 Third beta -21dp3dt 12,300

G/G/B triplets!!!!

Babies born on due date Oct 14th
Baby A - Alanna Chelsea 5lbs 6oz
Baby B - Benjamin Albert 5lbs
Baby C - Lauren Summer 5lbs

Visit my blog: http://4under4.wordpress.com/

#9 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 25 July 2008 - 12:28 PM

sdmann, you are right. I think I WILL know when it's time. And right now I am NOT feeling it at all.

Though I just checked my chart, and I am only cd26 at 10dpo, so I do not know what all that cramping was about last night. I am sure it's just AF messing with me as usual...witch. LOL

I guess I will just wait and see how I feel the day she gets here.....maybe I'll feel more up beat then.

And I sure hope we aren't bad luck to each other Bridgey!!! LOL
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker

#10 JanisG

JanisG
  • Member
  • 52 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Saint John, NB
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:Conceptia

Posted 25 July 2008 - 01:25 PM

Although I don't have the apprehension that you are talking about for starting the next cycle I do "get" what you are talking about when you say that you are looking forward to enjoying the summer. It is not selfish at all. At first I felt like something was going to be missing from the summer and then when I was having one of those rare optimistic days I realised that now I can just relax and enjoy my summer. I can drink my favourite caffeinated tea, go for margaritas with the girls, go swimming and as mentioned above...HAVE SEX!!! Nothing like hot sticky summer sex...oops, did I say that out loud?!? Good heavens...
Me 36 DH 47
Me no kids, DH 2 kids (DD and DS)
Sept '06 - Vasectomy reversal
TTC since reversal but no luck!
June '08 - IVF with ICSI - BFN
Oct '08 - FET - BFN
What now?!?

#11 Ope

Ope
  • Cyclebase
  • 2138 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Edmonton
  • Dx:Male Factor
  • My Clinic:Edmonton Fertility for now

Posted 25 July 2008 - 01:50 PM

IVF is serious emotinal , physical and financial burden, you do it when you are ready in all 3 aspect.
You do not need to give anybody an explanation, especially not to your doctors. It is your emotions, your body and your money. It is a paid service in canada, you do what you want girl!

#12 val42

val42
  • Member
  • 31 posts
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:IVF Canada

Posted 25 July 2008 - 02:13 PM

I agree with Ope. Enjoy the rest of your summer, and revisit the issue when you are ready.

I know every clinic is different, but with mine, we paid a minimal fee which entitles us to 6 attempts with no real time limit. So I just called when I was ready to cycle. To be honest, I don't think my clinic really would notice either way. I went over a year between IUIs, and never got a call asking what was up, and I never called them either. However, if you need to go on a waiting list, you may want to call. I am sure many women postpone for various reasons, and you should not worry about that at all.

Val
me: 44 dh: 46
4 failed IUIs
May, 2008-first IVF cycle canceled on day 11
July-Antagonist protocol
ER July 30th, 2008
ET August 2nd, 2008-1 8 cell B grade, 1 4 cell B grade, 1 4 cell C grade.
2ww-hoping for the most wonderful birthday gift ever...
BFN

#13 sdmann

sdmann
  • Member
  • 582 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Vancouver
  • Dx:Other

Posted 25 July 2008 - 02:38 PM

I decided after last FET that I'm taking the rest of the summer off - no drugs, no acupuncture, eating mostly what I want... enjoying a Gin & Tonic here and there, excercising, etc (sex). I don't feel selfish for doing it, my body and mind were telling me I needed it, especially if we're going to do this whole IVF thing again this fall!

We all need to take care of ourselves!

My question though to ladies "taking time off" - physically I'm there, but mentally I still find myself thinking/obsessing about our next treatment - it's always there in the back or front of my mind! I took a break from theses forums for a while, but found myself right back here within a couple of weeks! I get so excited for the women who are cycling, it's almost like an addiction reading about it.

#14

  • Validating
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 334 posts

Posted 25 July 2008 - 03:33 PM

I must say that I agree with the other ladies. We did our first ER/ET in Nov, and our second in Feb. The second was a complete failure from top to bottom, so we decided to do our 3rd and final attempt on our schedule. Our window was from early June to late August -- that worked well from a work perspective, as well as a family one -- and we were able to schedule it with our clinic for early June. We ended up being more relaxed, had extra time to recuperate from the 2nd attempt, and in the end it paid off for us.

I know there is no real research that speaks to emotional/mental preparedness in particular, but I cannot imagine that any additional doubts or added stress could ever HELP in a process like this, so my suggestion is for you to take the summer completely off to have fun, be a couple and simply be "normal" again. In the long run, that rejuvenation and renewed hope/optimism could only be beneficial.

Best wishes to you!

#15 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 25 July 2008 - 04:38 PM

Sounds good! Think I will take all the advice I have been given and crack a beer and sit by the pool without guilt.

DH and I were just wondering where the summer went, until we realized that May and June were eaten up with IVF#1......

So we are going to enjoy what is left, and cycle in the fall. I always wanted a later in the year baby anyway...LOL ;)
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker

#16

  • Validating
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 334 posts

Posted 25 July 2008 - 07:22 PM

Yay! I'm happy for you! You sound more relaxed already. :-)

(Oh, and getting pregnant later in the year means a summer baby, which is so great for future parties and such! :-)

#17 Maya_

Maya_
  • Global 100+
  • 235 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Vancouver
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Olive Fertility

Posted 25 July 2008 - 10:17 PM

Hopeful_flyer:

I share the same reluctance of going for IVF anytime soon. After my last BFN of six IUIs in total I decided to postpone a follow up visit to the clinic until I feel better. These fertility treatments control every aspect of our lives. They are so draining emotionally and physically, and the mental impact of that is the hardest to take.

I am turning 37 this autumn, not getting any younger, certainly, but two or three months off won't affect the outcome. No athlete will compete in 100 meters sprint in Beijing Olympics with a broken leg, right? So, why would we go for IVF with a broken heart? Let it heal first!

Thinking of all of us, :flowers:

Maya
Me: 44, DH: older
14 years TTC
2006 - first visit to fertility clinic
7 IUIs (BFN)
2 IVFs (BFN)
Nov 2010 IVF own eggs m/c at 8 weeks
May 2012 DE IVF m/c at 6 weeks
Aug 2013 - DE FET twin pregnancy, m/c at 8 weeks
Nov 2014 - DE FET (BFN)
Jan 2015 - DE FET (BFP) - miracle baby boy born.

#18 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 26 July 2008 - 09:18 AM

Very good point Maya. I at least was spared all the IUI's due to my tubes.....that cant' make going into ivf any easier...ugh.

We had been ttc straight since early 2006, so think it is time for a little break. I only had one month off that whole time, and that was for surgery to find out what the heck was wrong. (lap, d&c, hsg) So yeah, I think we are both worn out.

Dh is very happy, I guess that ivf round really took a toll on him, he is just getting back into work mode now, his brain was pretty fried with all that was going on...poor guy. So he needs one as much as I do apparently.

Hopefully we can just get happy and back to who we were before all this started (though I think she is dead now...LOL) and then move forward again.

Thanks again for all the support, you have all made me feel sooooooooooo much better about this decision.

xoxo
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker

#19 dove

dove
  • Global 100+
  • 768 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Toronto
  • Interests:Travelling, reading, nature, my dog, movies, friends, cooking, art.
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Mt. Sinai: Now Hannam

Posted 28 July 2008 - 07:51 PM

Totally understand the apprehension about it. I feel the same way. We are starting another cycle next month. We've had 5 failed iuis, i failed ivf and 1 failed fet (ectopic). I think it is a combination of being a lot happier when I'm not ttcing and also the fear of yet another failure. We took off several months in between our ivf and fet and I have to say I was really, really happy. IVF is hard and depressing. Take the time off, enjoy the summer a month or two won't make any difference except you may be happier and have a better attitude going in. By the way, we go to the same clinic and you don't have to call to tell them anything. You only call when you decide to cycle again.
me: 42
DH 47
DX: unexplained
TTC: 6 years
5 iui, natural and clomid 2007 - all negative
ivf #1 January 08 2 blasts - negative
(Fet #1): May/08 1 blast- early miscarriage
ivf #2 Aug/08 2 blasts - negative again
(Fet #2) 2 blasts - negative
(Fet #3) Jan 26 2009--3 blasts -postive, over the moon
Feb 4 1st beta 203, Feb 6 -502
7, 12, 20 and 26 wk ultrasounds: everything on target, one baby, we're thrilled.
EDD: Oct. 14\Baby boy born October 16, 2009!
Trying for a sibling with our frozen blasts:
Fet 1: 2 blasts--negative
Fet2: 3 blasts --negative
ivf 3: 3 blasts - negative
Fet 1-3 blasts - negative
Fet 2-3 blasts negative
Fet 3- 3 blasts-negative
Ivf 4 - new clinic, Hannam :positive beta fingers crossed
Saw hearbeat, due January 1, beautiful boy born January 6

#20 ShebaB

ShebaB
  • 1000+
  • 1232 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Tampa, Florida
  • Dx:Tubal

Posted 28 July 2008 - 08:03 PM

Jenn I am sorry your are hurting. Do you think it could be AF making you feel this way. I know a day before and two days starting I get really really down at times. I know I cry sometimes at the beginning of my period and I feel better in a couple days.
Sheba
June 15, 2008 #1 beta 12dp5dt 727 #2 beta 15dp5dt 3946 #3 beta 18dp5dt 10,206



Posted Image

#21 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 29 July 2008 - 10:19 AM

Well, still waiting on AF here, 14 DPO, so I expect her anytime......meh. I hate when she takes her time and leaves that glimmer of hope...witch.

I think my body would like one more month off before starting all this again, so I think I have made the right decision..I have felt MUCH better since I just let go of the worry of another cycle so soon.

:D
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

Posted Image
Blinkie Maker