6 replies to this topic

[BCMom]

Hi there,

 

   I will be 48 in March so my clock is ticking fast and my partner and I finally decided after a year of trying the old fashioned way that we would go the donor egg route, partly due to the fact that the Fertility clinic refused us with my own eggs due to age.  I have found that the whole process feels like a lot of hurry up and wait.  I am hoping to find some members that have gone through this process and can tell me if what is happening now is normal.  I find it strange that I have already gotten to the point of having a committed donor (through Egghelpers in Parksville, BC) and already submitted a match sheet to Victoria Fertility Clinic (in Victoria, BC).  Now they are telling me to go and have a mammogram.  Why did they not mention this before?    And nobody seems to be making a lot of effort to inform me along the way.  I have had to bother them to get information.  When I have had doctor appointments (twice) I have found that the doctor did not offer much information.  Is it because I am an older woman?  Is this the norm for everybody?  And I don't have an appointment for whatever comes next, and I know it took ages and ages to get in the two times I have been there.  If it wasn't for cancellations, I would still be waiting.....should I have one?  I am guessing I am not the only one that has found this process stressful.......it would be nice to have someone to share with.   I have a 20-year-old daughter and I am so looking forward to being pregnant again! 

 

Thanks for reading everyone!  Hope to chat with some of you along the way! 

 

Wishing you the best and success as you move along your journey!

[JIC]

Hi Tang,
Welcome and wishing you the best with your journey. When you you say it feels like it is a situation of hurry about and wait you have described the donor process perfectly.
Every clinic operates differently so I am not much help on that but NEVER feel like you are bothering them with questions that is what they are there for. You might want to re-post this in the 2019 donor buddies group. It is a great group and maybe someone has had the same experience.

[SheylaM]

Hi Tang71,

 

I am going through the same, more or less.

I am 49 now,  started with fertility clinic in 2016. Took time to find clinic and afford egg donation. Finally succeeded in finding it... I had so many exams done and my body/uterus etc was fine to receive an embryo.

On December 3rd our embryos were ready. We have two good embryos. But again.... they started asking for more exams. Mammogram among them. 

I do not want to receive radiation right before the embryo transfer. I do not want to have radiation right before getting pregnant. 

 

I do not know how it works in BC but in ON mammograms are NOT RECOMMENDED before the age of 50 because of so many FALSE POSITIVE results.  

I spoke to my family doctor and he explained that he also does not recommend that UNLESS there is a family history of breast cancer, in which case having a blood test would be less invasive.

 

Apparently it is because of the hormones they will give us to thicken the endometrium that can increase the chance of cancer.

 

THEN  why do not DEcrease the amount of hormones they use? 

 

I ended up signing a consent in which I am responsible in case something happens.

 

I think we have the same right as any woman getting pregnant.

 

Hope this helps you. At least not to feel alone

 

Here is the link for Ontario. Maybe there is something for BC?

 

https://www.cancerca...ancer/screening

[Tess]

Tang,

 

I'm sorry things are slow with the clinic.  I didn't need a mammogram, but all doctors are different as to what they require to move forward. You might need a sonohystogram and of course we need all of those blood tests every 6 months.

 

My advice is to do the extra tests ASAP so nothing is standing in your way.  It's annoying, but we have to jump over all sorts of hoops to get these cycles going. Some Canadian clinics are slow on the reception/information end, perhaps due to not spending $$ on a nurse who who coordinates cycles or reception or the person responsible for getting info to patient. 

 

You can make the process move faster by advocating for yourself and asking questions like,

 

"can I have a list of any extra tests & interviews, in addition to blood tests, that I will I need & my donor needs before I move forward with this cycle?" 

 

"I would like to get to transfer as soon as possible, please let me know if I need any tests or requirements that are performed outside of your clinic."   

 

"What blood tests do I need and does my donor need so we can move forward to transfer?  Can the nurse please give me a list or requisition for these required blood tests?"

 

"I would like to make an appointment for my donor to be medically screened and approved by the clinic doctor."   

 

Then, once you have your list, get all tests done as soon as possible. Likewise, you'll need to set up the tests & interviews with your donor.  She'll need an appointment with a therapist recommended by the clinic, who will write up a report.  Likewise, she'll need to be interviewed and approved by the doctor as to her family history.

 

Good luck!  

[north]

Hi tang71,

I'm just a little bit younger than you (47 years) and pregnant with my second. I had my first at 44 years.

I needed to do much more baseline screening in advance of this transfer and subsequent pregnancy since I was over 45 years.

My two cents: do all the screening. They are looking out for your health and the baby's. The reason that they would want some kind of breast cancer screening is that once you are taking estrogen and making your own in the pregnancy, any existent cancer cells could be fed by the estrogen. Essentially, this would put your life and an unborn child's at risk.

Ethically, clinics have a responsibility to ensure they've covered their bases when it comes to protecting your health and any resultant fetus.

Just my two cents.

All the best!

north

[Tess]

I agree with North that it's better safe then sorry with these matters.  The clinic did not require it, but I've been getting regular mammogram & ultrasound screenings.  (dense breast tissue.)  Pregnancy accelerates the growth of estrogen related cancerous tumours, and breast cancer chances increase with age. And, perhaps clinics worry about their own reputation if something does go wrong with pregnancy in a woman aged 45-50. 

 

Something to consider: many clinics will not transfer embryos to women over the age of 49 or 50.  You may want to ask your clinic about their policy. Because of the age issue, you won't want to go slowly on these tests.  It is most likely faster for you to go to your GP, get a requisition & set of the mammogram vs. discussing the issue with the clinic.  

 

If it's hard for you to get appointments set up, I'd suggest setting up the next appointment ASAP.  You may want to set up appointments while in the office.  If communication is spotty with the clinic, it's important to keep pushing with your phone calls and e-mails. Clinics get busy, and you may drop through the cracks if reception doesn't have a good system in place.

 

Good luck!

[BCMom]

Thanks for the input!  It is so helpful!  I finally got a call back from the nurse at the clinic.  My donor has an appointment booked at the doctors for March 14th so that is nice to know. I am next to get a hystersonagraph or some such thing, where they look for polyps, etc. in the uterus.  So mammogram booked for feb 26th and then soon I am to get started on a 'mock cycle' which is something to do with seeing how my body reacts to hormones and medications, from what I understand.  At least we are inching forward, cross my fingers...

Wishing you all the best on your journey!