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#1

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Posted 20 July 2008 - 09:19 AM

Hello. I am 42 and am just getting started again. We had tried for 5 years and an meds for a year before we were told my husband's "factory" was closed. As the last thing, we went to a doctor abroad and they found 9 sperm. Now the little ones are in the freezer and I am getting ready for ICSI.

We were devastated when we thought we could not concieve and before that we had so much up and down with expectation and disappointment.

Now looking at all the stats for IVF for over 40, the probabilities are so low. It is really a miracle that we have the 9 little ones in the freezer but I am not quite ready for hope yet. All the ifs and the hurdles sometimes seem overwhelming.

Any advise on coping with all the uncertainties.

#2 Nitzerette

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Posted 20 July 2008 - 10:14 AM

Good luck with it all!
<p><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Canadians Down Under 9 yrs, now indonesia</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#4B0082;">me 39(I am not changing this anymore!), DH 37 - together since '93, married '98 went off BCP Jan '03 but TTC (in earnest) early '05</span></p><p><span style="color:#4169E1;">started seeking medical help early '06. '06-'07 - 4 IUI's, IVF #1 and FET #1 (with 2 embies) at QFG - all BFN</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#FF0000;">moved interstate and started at new clinic '08 - IVF #2 Mar; FET #2 May Aug - Surprise natural pregnancy! Then m/c ~ 7 wksFET #3 Nov, 2 embies, BFN; '09 FET #4 Feb BFP then m/c ~ 5 wksFET #5 Apr, 2 embies, BFN3 July - clinic appt to get things rolling on 3rd fresh cycle. AAARGH! Stupid clinic stuffed things up again!</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#2F4F4F;">Changed clinics - Now can't get started til Sept- AARGH! Make that Oct now <img src="<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'>https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png" title=":(" alt="sad.png"></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#008000;">IVF#3 almost cancelledOct '09 - 11 eggs, 8 fert, 7 for PGS, 3 tested OK, 2 of those to blast12 Oct - ET #8 1 embie, 1 frozen</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#800080;">23 Oct <strong><span style="font-size:14px;">BFP!</span></strong> weekly hCG = 192, 2281, 17046, 43118; HB @ 7wk scan2 Dec first OB appt - 174bpm, 3cm, all good!(but she said I will be 'high-risk')15 Dec crap results on my NT testGD diagnosed at 15 Weeks :(3 Feb '10 Week 19 scan looks good!OB says NO! to water birth10 June - my BP, glucose readings, weight gain and Bubby's size, movements and fluid all goodOB chgd her mind at 38 wks - gonna let me go to my due date now</span></p><p></p><p>Baby boy born on 1 July by c-section 7lb3oz He had to have surgery at 3 wks - all good now</p><p></p><p><span style="color:#006400;">2011 - Waiting to get started again. IVF doc infuriating! June '11 - About to start. Only one frostie left. Unmedicated cycle.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#8B0000;">Last cycle a big fat failure! Our embie did not thaw properly so we didn't even get a transfer. SO disappointed!</span></p><p></p><p>Oct 2011 - m/c<p>2012 - A bit in shock that our 'trying' actually worked. We are pregnant with a natural miracle. Due mid March 2013. A trip to Thailand, praying for a baby, before both pregnancies!<p></a>Healthy baby girl born on 28 Feb 2013 by caesarian weighing 2.99kg</p></a>

#3

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Posted 23 July 2008 - 07:43 AM

Thank you.

#4 Nitzerette

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Posted 23 July 2008 - 07:52 AM

Sorry I can't offer much advice. I think hope waxes and wanes daily....well, it does for me anyway. We have had 4 IUI, 4 IVF and a few just medicated cycles. I was pretty devastated after the last failure, but today I am hopeful for the chance that I could get pregnant just the natural way this month. So, while I don't have the same underlying problem as you (only 9 on ice), I have the same overall problem (lack of baby in my arms) and so I can kind of understand your feelings. So I guess it is just one day at a time and I hope you find as much comfort in this forum as I have. Keep on reading and posting!!! Good luck :)
<p><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Canadians Down Under 9 yrs, now indonesia</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#4B0082;">me 39(I am not changing this anymore!), DH 37 - together since '93, married '98 went off BCP Jan '03 but TTC (in earnest) early '05</span></p><p><span style="color:#4169E1;">started seeking medical help early '06. '06-'07 - 4 IUI's, IVF #1 and FET #1 (with 2 embies) at QFG - all BFN</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#FF0000;">moved interstate and started at new clinic '08 - IVF #2 Mar; FET #2 May Aug - Surprise natural pregnancy! Then m/c ~ 7 wksFET #3 Nov, 2 embies, BFN; '09 FET #4 Feb BFP then m/c ~ 5 wksFET #5 Apr, 2 embies, BFN3 July - clinic appt to get things rolling on 3rd fresh cycle. AAARGH! Stupid clinic stuffed things up again!</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#2F4F4F;">Changed clinics - Now can't get started til Sept- AARGH! Make that Oct now <img src="<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'>https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png" title=":(" alt="sad.png"></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#008000;">IVF#3 almost cancelledOct '09 - 11 eggs, 8 fert, 7 for PGS, 3 tested OK, 2 of those to blast12 Oct - ET #8 1 embie, 1 frozen</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#800080;">23 Oct <strong><span style="font-size:14px;">BFP!</span></strong> weekly hCG = 192, 2281, 17046, 43118; HB @ 7wk scan2 Dec first OB appt - 174bpm, 3cm, all good!(but she said I will be 'high-risk')15 Dec crap results on my NT testGD diagnosed at 15 Weeks :(3 Feb '10 Week 19 scan looks good!OB says NO! to water birth10 June - my BP, glucose readings, weight gain and Bubby's size, movements and fluid all goodOB chgd her mind at 38 wks - gonna let me go to my due date now</span></p><p></p><p>Baby boy born on 1 July by c-section 7lb3oz He had to have surgery at 3 wks - all good now</p><p></p><p><span style="color:#006400;">2011 - Waiting to get started again. IVF doc infuriating! June '11 - About to start. Only one frostie left. Unmedicated cycle.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#8B0000;">Last cycle a big fat failure! Our embie did not thaw properly so we didn't even get a transfer. SO disappointed!</span></p><p></p><p>Oct 2011 - m/c<p>2012 - A bit in shock that our 'trying' actually worked. We are pregnant with a natural miracle. Due mid March 2013. A trip to Thailand, praying for a baby, before both pregnancies!<p></a>Healthy baby girl born on 28 Feb 2013 by caesarian weighing 2.99kg</p></a>

#5 ShebaB

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Posted 23 July 2008 - 08:50 AM

I agree with what nizarette said. I am so glad we live in the times that we do. Technology today is so advanced and the oppurtunities that we have is great, but it doesn't mean that it will work for all of us. My husband is always optimistic about things. If the doc tells us we have a 10% he thinks that is great. He would say look at it this way 90 people are told they aren't pregnant but 10 people are told they are. I on the other hand he says am a pessimist. I say a realist. My glass is half empty if I am thirsty and I don't see a pitcher to fill it next to me. I think I am that way because I try to prepare myself if it doesn't work. In the beginning when we started IVF I would get so excited and crash when things didn't work. Then we had our daughter. After that it failed 3 more times. So this last time I just said if it happened it happened. I tried to stay positive, but like I said I didn't want to crash hard if it didn't work. I hope it all works out for you and your dh. I hope that was sensative to how you feel. I wish you the best and I hope it all works out for you.

Sheba
June 15, 2008 #1 beta 12dp5dt 727 #2 beta 15dp5dt 3946 #3 beta 18dp5dt 10,206



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#6 stillsmiling

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Posted 23 July 2008 - 11:56 AM

Hi 9LO,

I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I know that the stats for IVF with women over 40 are daunting but some 40+ IVF/ICSI'ers do end up with healthy babies to take home. It sounds as though you are willing to give this whole process a good effort (or more if needed) so that is a good start in the hope department. Sometimes, it really does take just 1 good embryo.

As for how to keep your sanity through this process, that is an entirely different issue. I think the major thing to keep in mind is that we all have to practice loads of self care and see the whole IF thing differently. So many times we are goal-directed people who think that if we work hard enough and press ahead then we will get what we need (success!!) but with IF we have to practice much more self-forgiveness and patience. I find that yoga, meditation, gardening and prayer work wonders for me. But every person is different. My RE also suggested accupuncture or massage or any other thing that would reduce my stress level. So I guess the whole issue is to manage your stress, be kind to yourself and not put all your faith in your very first IVF cycle (even though I still hope you get a BFP with #1!).

BTW: A few months back, Designer Bug did a really great job of describing how to meditate with visualization... good stuff if you want to look it up.

Namaste,

Cindy
DP (Joey) 36, me (Cindy) 36
1st IVF January 08
02/07/2008 BFP then m/c
2nd IVF Sept 08 =BFN
3rd IVF Feb 09 = another BFN
changing directions
partner 6 IUI's all BFN
July 2009, started donor egg cycle.
ET Sept 11 = another BFN
One more DE cycle hopefully in January 2010.

Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark.

my blog http://cindysblog-ba...e.blogspot.com/

#7

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Posted 27 July 2008 - 08:35 PM

Thanks everyone!! :lol:

It really helps to know there are women out there facing the same stress. I am trying to be as positive as possible but at the same time "my cup is always half full".

I finally got a schedule from my doctor overseas. He thinks that my cycle will start aroung 3 Oct so I have to get on the plane on the 1st. All the planning and going around schedules, arranging for lodging, and help during the recommended two weeks bed rest is quite complicated. Taking six weeks off from work is such a hassle and disruptive. (Also no insurance coverage, i guess we will not be getting that new car anytime soon.)

I know it will all be worth it if it works but I can not imagine going throuigh this again. My admiration goes to the strong women and families that can go through this and keep the hope alive.

Although my doctor says my hormone levels are normal and I should be ready in October. I am thinking of going for another round of tests to make sure. Its hard not to put all your eggs in one basket when one has so few viable eggs left. :rolleyes:


Thanks for the advise. :D I went to a reflexologist Saturday and will go to my herbologist today. I have anytime yoga on my Nintendo DS which I have at last started. I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time and at least get some me time.

#8 Nitzerette

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Posted 29 July 2008 - 07:44 PM

I wanted to add one more piece of advice. Make sure you check things with your clinic (re reflexology and herbology). My clinic does not want me taking herbs as they are not sure how they will react with what they are doing or how long they will stay in my system. And my accupunturist says it is important that he knows that I am going through IVF bec he wants what he is doing to work with, not against what they are doing. Let everyone know what the other is doing and follow your gut instinct about what you want to do.
<p><strong><span style="color:#000000;">Canadians Down Under 9 yrs, now indonesia</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#4B0082;">me 39(I am not changing this anymore!), DH 37 - together since '93, married '98 went off BCP Jan '03 but TTC (in earnest) early '05</span></p><p><span style="color:#4169E1;">started seeking medical help early '06. '06-'07 - 4 IUI's, IVF #1 and FET #1 (with 2 embies) at QFG - all BFN</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#FF0000;">moved interstate and started at new clinic '08 - IVF #2 Mar; FET #2 May Aug - Surprise natural pregnancy! Then m/c ~ 7 wksFET #3 Nov, 2 embies, BFN; '09 FET #4 Feb BFP then m/c ~ 5 wksFET #5 Apr, 2 embies, BFN3 July - clinic appt to get things rolling on 3rd fresh cycle. AAARGH! Stupid clinic stuffed things up again!</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#2F4F4F;">Changed clinics - Now can't get started til Sept- AARGH! Make that Oct now <img src="<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'">https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png'>https://ivf.ca/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/sad.png" title=":(" alt="sad.png"></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#008000;">IVF#3 almost cancelledOct '09 - 11 eggs, 8 fert, 7 for PGS, 3 tested OK, 2 of those to blast12 Oct - ET #8 1 embie, 1 frozen</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#800080;">23 Oct <strong><span style="font-size:14px;">BFP!</span></strong> weekly hCG = 192, 2281, 17046, 43118; HB @ 7wk scan2 Dec first OB appt - 174bpm, 3cm, all good!(but she said I will be 'high-risk')15 Dec crap results on my NT testGD diagnosed at 15 Weeks :(3 Feb '10 Week 19 scan looks good!OB says NO! to water birth10 June - my BP, glucose readings, weight gain and Bubby's size, movements and fluid all goodOB chgd her mind at 38 wks - gonna let me go to my due date now</span></p><p></p><p>Baby boy born on 1 July by c-section 7lb3oz He had to have surgery at 3 wks - all good now</p><p></p><p><span style="color:#006400;">2011 - Waiting to get started again. IVF doc infuriating! June '11 - About to start. Only one frostie left. Unmedicated cycle.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#8B0000;">Last cycle a big fat failure! Our embie did not thaw properly so we didn't even get a transfer. SO disappointed!</span></p><p></p><p>Oct 2011 - m/c<p>2012 - A bit in shock that our 'trying' actually worked. We are pregnant with a natural miracle. Due mid March 2013. A trip to Thailand, praying for a baby, before both pregnancies!<p></a>Healthy baby girl born on 28 Feb 2013 by caesarian weighing 2.99kg</p></a>

#9

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Posted 30 July 2008 - 12:45 AM

Thanks. Sure will take your advise. :D

I am not taking anything from the RE yet. Herbologist knows that I am going to have IVF in October. I did not have time for acupuncture but will tell them next time I go.

I need to vent a bit. :wacko:

I was a bit surprised that the RE does not want me to take anything until I go over seas right before my AF. He only gave me one blood test and ultrasound and he thinks I am ok for ICSI. I am used to having more information and being knowing what is going on. Yes, it is not a big thing for them they do this everyday but this is a biggy for me. He has a very good repuation and has massess of experience with even the most difficult cases but I wish I could go to another doctor who is closer and has more time to explain. In his last e-mail, he just told me to contact his office when I arrive. My choices are limited since the little guys are at this clinic and we do not feel safe in putting them in a cooler and carrying them.

I guess the most difficult part of this process is giving up control and going with our mitigating measures. :wall:

Thanks again.