Posted 20 July 2008 - 09:19 AM
We were devastated when we thought we could not concieve and before that we had so much up and down with expectation and disappointment.
Now looking at all the stats for IVF for over 40, the probabilities are so low. It is really a miracle that we have the 9 little ones in the freezer but I am not quite ready for hope yet. All the ifs and the hurdles sometimes seem overwhelming.
Any advise on coping with all the uncertainties.
Posted 20 July 2008 - 10:14 AM
Posted 23 July 2008 - 07:52 AM
Posted 23 July 2008 - 08:50 AM
Posted 23 July 2008 - 11:56 AM
I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I know that the stats for IVF with women over 40 are daunting but some 40+ IVF/ICSI'ers do end up with healthy babies to take home. It sounds as though you are willing to give this whole process a good effort (or more if needed) so that is a good start in the hope department. Sometimes, it really does take just 1 good embryo.
As for how to keep your sanity through this process, that is an entirely different issue. I think the major thing to keep in mind is that we all have to practice loads of self care and see the whole IF thing differently. So many times we are goal-directed people who think that if we work hard enough and press ahead then we will get what we need (success!!) but with IF we have to practice much more self-forgiveness and patience. I find that yoga, meditation, gardening and prayer work wonders for me. But every person is different. My RE also suggested accupuncture or massage or any other thing that would reduce my stress level. So I guess the whole issue is to manage your stress, be kind to yourself and not put all your faith in your very first IVF cycle (even though I still hope you get a BFP with #1!).
BTW: A few months back, Designer Bug did a really great job of describing how to meditate with visualization... good stuff if you want to look it up.
1st IVF January 08
02/07/2008 BFP then m/c
2nd IVF Sept 08 =BFN
3rd IVF Feb 09 = another BFN
partner 6 IUI's all BFN
July 2009, started donor egg cycle.
ET Sept 11 = another BFN
One more DE cycle hopefully in January 2010.
Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark.
my blog http://cindysblog-ba...e.blogspot.com/
Posted 27 July 2008 - 08:35 PM
It really helps to know there are women out there facing the same stress. I am trying to be as positive as possible but at the same time "my cup is always half full".
I finally got a schedule from my doctor overseas. He thinks that my cycle will start aroung 3 Oct so I have to get on the plane on the 1st. All the planning and going around schedules, arranging for lodging, and help during the recommended two weeks bed rest is quite complicated. Taking six weeks off from work is such a hassle and disruptive. (Also no insurance coverage, i guess we will not be getting that new car anytime soon.)
I know it will all be worth it if it works but I can not imagine going throuigh this again. My admiration goes to the strong women and families that can go through this and keep the hope alive.
Although my doctor says my hormone levels are normal and I should be ready in October. I am thinking of going for another round of tests to make sure. Its hard not to put all your eggs in one basket when one has so few viable eggs left.
Thanks for the advise. I went to a reflexologist Saturday and will go to my herbologist today. I have anytime yoga on my Nintendo DS which I have at last started. I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time and at least get some me time.
Posted 29 July 2008 - 07:44 PM
Posted 30 July 2008 - 12:45 AM
I am not taking anything from the RE yet. Herbologist knows that I am going to have IVF in October. I did not have time for acupuncture but will tell them next time I go.
I need to vent a bit.
I was a bit surprised that the RE does not want me to take anything until I go over seas right before my AF. He only gave me one blood test and ultrasound and he thinks I am ok for ICSI. I am used to having more information and being knowing what is going on. Yes, it is not a big thing for them they do this everyday but this is a biggy for me. He has a very good repuation and has massess of experience with even the most difficult cases but I wish I could go to another doctor who is closer and has more time to explain. In his last e-mail, he just told me to contact his office when I arrive. My choices are limited since the little guys are at this clinic and we do not feel safe in putting them in a cooler and carrying them.
I guess the most difficult part of this process is giving up control and going with our mitigating measures.