Happy New Year's all.
I'm having a bit of a difficult day, and I realized it's because I was convinced 2018 would be my year. I started the New Year with all the positive hopeful vibes. For the first time in a couple of years, we were actually doing things. I had uterine septum removal and lap/endo removal in January. Had three IUIs and then our first ever round of IVF. And nothing to show for any of it.
Well, that's not true. We have four blasts in the freezer, and one of them could be our baby. And I know that's good odds. 2019 could be our year. But it is really, really hard to be hopeful when I thought last year was our year. Who's to say this year will be any different?
3.5 years of trying. I thought I'd have a toddler by now. I'm trying to enjoy my childfree days- had some drinks. Spent all day yesterday playing Wii U which I haven't done for years, haha. Who can do that when you have kids? But this is hard, folks. I know you all know that.
I guess I just needed to post this in a place where I know others feel the same way.
I'm trying to remember that people do come out the other side of this. But I keep thinking about all the ones who have multiple failed transfers, multiple MC and my heart simultaneously aches for them, and also worries for me.
BTW, has anyone else watched One More Shot, and ugly cried, not just for yourself, but because you could feel her devastation with each failure? Just knew exactly what she was feeling and hurt so much for her? My husband thought I was crazy.