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Been trying for 13 months


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#1 Mcking

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Posted 18 October 2018 - 09:59 AM

Hi everyone,

 

Feeling a bit down and disappointed. Just found out 13th cycle of trying to conceive naturally has not worked. Currently a patient of a fertility clinic. When we went to see the fertility doctor three months back for initial appointment (ten-month mark, early, but they accepted us as patients), we did some blood work, sonohysterogram, and SA. Most results came back normal, except for a few minor things (vitamin D levels slightly low, AMH (low-normal)), but overall we have unexplained infertility at this point. Fertility doctor said to take some supplements (vitamin D, omega3, melatonin to improve sleep, coq enzyme to improve egg quality). He said because of our age (early thirties), and that he did not find anything outstanding, we should try naturally for a few more months, at which time we may need fertility treatments (IUI/IVF) if we are not successful. So this is what we have been doing, trying naturally and taking supplements, improved diet, increased exercise, etc.

The thing is, my gut is telling me there is something wrong. My period can be anywhere from 25 to 31 days, ovulation sticks/BBT say I'm ovulating. But I spot 5-6 days before I get my period, and pass small clots/tissue in the toilet during this time. I have really bad period cramps just before and for first couple of days of period with heavy flow and clots for first two/three days. I have brought this up to my fertility doctor, and he said after November ,we can do cycle monitoring to see if it's a hormonal issue. I am not sure why he did not check for hormones like progesterone earlier on (like on the initial appointment) and when I asked them about this, they said it isn't their typical protocol and they didn't think it was necessary at that time. I am guessing because we had only tried for ten months at that point it was reasonable not to go into such extensive investigations, but based on my symptoms, didn't that warrant further tests? (i.e. jump right into cycled monitoring/draw full hormone panel bloodwork)? If it's a hormonal issue (i.e. low progesterone), that can be easily fixed with some supplements, we could have been spared from the last three months of heartache and disappointment. Every month that passes, we get more anxious that this isn't going to happen. 

But I also worry it may be something more than hormone dysfunction. I think some of the signs are pointing towards endometriosis. If this is the case, I want to start cycle monitoring right away (rule out it isn't hormonal issue), and then consider investigations to rule in/out endometriosis as soon as possible. Even though, I am not too sure that knowing it's endometriosis will change my course of treatment/outcome. But just knowing what is wrong, can give people with unexplained infertility some answers at least and some peace of mind.

I know compared to many other couples, we really haven't tried very long in the bigger scheme of things, and that I am being impatient and overly anxious. I am also self-diagnosing which can be a dangerous. Family is telling me to relax, and that I still have time. Our dream was to have a large family, but based on how things on going, we would be blessed to have one miracle baby. All I know is, we have one more month to try naturally, before returning to the clinic for cycle monitoring/IUI. If I find out I have a hormone issue or endometriosis, some part of me will feel frustrated that these weren't investigated earlier on (at the ten-month mark) when signs and symptoms showed something was off. I will feel frustrated we could have started treatment earlier too. But maybe, this is truly the way things are supposed to play out.

This is a long post.Thanks for reading.



#2 Aiglee

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Posted 22 October 2018 - 03:31 PM

Hi Mcking, I don't have a big advice, and I totally get your frustration. My first clinic told me to "just relax and it will happen", which I couldn't believe was coming from a fertility clinic. The second one said "Unexplained" infertility. Third one finally really looked and said DOR with less than 5% chance to get pregnant even with IVF. I tried to ask them for more tests (the first 2 clinics) and it just didn't happen. One thing I learned on these forums is to keep asking and find somewhere else if they don't listen. Granted, I agree 13 months is not a lot, but I also hear you about the symptoms.

 

Basically no much advice but know you are not alone and to keep advocating for yourself.


TTC since 2012 (plus 2 years around 2008/2010). I'm 37 years old, husband is 28. 
 
Karma: Unexplained. 3 Failed IUIs with injectables in 2014. IVF #1: 5 day embryo transferred, 1 frozen. BFN. FET #1: 1 6 day embryo 2AB. BFN

One Fertility: DOR. AMH of 5.8 (Canadian). IVF #2: 2 eggs fertilized (ICSI), transferred 2 day 3 embryos. BFN

 

Adoption with CAS: Adopted a baby boy! Home since November 6th, 2016, adoption finalized June 26th, 2017.


#3 Mcking

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Posted 23 October 2018 - 08:56 AM

Hi Aiglee, thanks for sharing your experience. So frustrating you had to go to three clinics in order to finally get an answer. When a clinic really isn't listening to your requests or concerns, you can start to lose faith in them.  I don't want to be those overly demanding, aggressive patients that try to override every opinion of the health care team. But at the back of my mind I have begun to think: are these people really trying to help me, or am I just another number to them (I am at a big downtown clinic), that they push through the queue, slap on an all-encompassing label and hand out some generic advice because it's easier than doing some real digging and giving individualized care? 

I really appreciated reading how you didn't give up in your quest to find an answer. Reading your story, I feel motivated to be more assertive at my next clinic appointment and advocate for myself. As I move deeper into this journey, I know I need to speak up more, and find people that will work with me to find some answers.

I don't know how you or other people felt getting a diagnosis after initially being grouped into the category of 'unexplained infertility'. Were you relieved or got the closure you needed? Or did you have an opposite reaction?

Personally, I just want answers. Even if the answer may be devastating or heartbreaking. It is the unknown that is starting to eat away at me. My husband and I have basically put our lives on hold until we figure out what's going on. I can't imagine what it is like for the people who go through unexplained infertility for years without answers, and maybe they never get answers and have to make peace with the fact that they never will.

I engage in meditation, aromatherapy, take long walks, cook healthy, great tasting food, exercise and play piano to quiet down the anxiety, which I find significantly helps to decrease the severity of it, but it never goes away completely, and then it pops up with great intensity at random times throughout the day. One time I was in the car, while my husband was driving and I randomly just burst into tears and couldn't stop for ten minutes. Another time, I almost cancelled on going out with my childhood bestfriend, because I felt overwhelmed and didn't want to have to put on a face that I was in a good mood and life was great. Luckily, she is the more outgoing one, and she spent the whole time talking about her trip to Europe. I smiled and nodded the whole time, but was thinking: I just want to go home and crawl into bed and watch Netflix and not see or talk to anyone.


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#4 Aimeehug

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Posted 25 October 2018 - 05:07 PM

Oh goodness, I feel for you. So glad you have lots of activities to help you relax. This is such an emotionally-draining journey.

 

Around 9-10 months I just knew something was wrong, because I spotted for like 5 days before my actual period. All my hormone levels came back normal (which yea, weird they didn't test those right away for you, my OB tested that for me before I even got to the fertility clinic), but I had a feeling that something just wasn't right. Got to the fertility clinic, did some more testing, and they discovered I had a septum. They wanted to do surgery to remove it before moving to IUI. Since we were doing surgery anyway, I asked about investigating for endo. I didn't have a lot of the symptoms, just this spotting, plus a lower than normal AMH (and occasionally really bad periods). She didn't really want to do it, because a lap is pretty invasive and there's only a slight chance of increased pregnancy after removing endo, but she agreed, because people with septums apparently are at a higher risk of endo.

So they did the lap and lo and behold I had some mild endo.

Did this help me?

Well, on the one hand, I was right! So I had some validation

on the other, I still haven't gotten pregnant (and we're working onto year 3 of trying now, although we took a 6 month hiatus because we went to Cuba for a friend's wedding). waiting for the surgery delayed any treatments, and my periods have been worse since getting treated, which is ridiculous.

So at the end of the day, I had endo, it's been cauterized off,  but we're still not fertile, so it didn't really leave me with a satisfied answer. People with endo still get pregnant. So why can't I? So frustrating.

Anyways, that was just my experience. For you, maybe finding out for sure will give you some peace of mind.

Good luck with talking to the doctor and being assertive!


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#5 Mcking

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Posted 29 October 2018 - 09:55 AM

Aimeehug -very frustrating. Finally getting a diagnosis, treating it, but at the end of the day, still not getting the result you wanted. You're not kidding about this being an emotionally -draining journey.

Your symptoms sound similar to mine. I will definitely bring up endo as a possibility with my doctor--even though yeah, really not sure how this will impact the outcome even if something is found. thanks for the well wishes though, I will remember this when I go in to talk to him!

 

I smiled when I read about you taking a 6-month hiatus to go to Cuba for a friend's wedding. Hope you had a blast and glad you were able to take a little bit of a break! Was recently thinking about taking a similar hiatus ( trip to Thailand or Singapore with best friend--also areas with risk of zika). But just can't bring myself to do it. When it really comes down to it, I back out.  Have turned down opportunities to travel, jobs, live abroad, etc., because we kept prioritizing getting pregnant, and we keep thinking, this could be the month! Who knows, maybe as we keep going down this road, that will change. Especially since lately, have not been feeling like myself (even though I have not been on this journey for very long!)

My husband and I got married two years ago (been together for nine years). When I think back to the time, when we were newly married, moved to a new city, got our first house (with plenty of bedrooms for kids, right beside two daycares), got our dream jobs we had worked ten years for--- we were so happy and carefree. I remember thinking to myself at the time, that we had made it. Our dreams were coming true.   This was only a bit over a year ago. Crazy how things can change so fast. I am basically a recluse now. Abruptly quit my well-paid job few months ago, don't like seeing friends or people in general. Basically, I spend as much of my time dedicated towards being as fertile as possible, by optimizing my physical/ mental health and educating myself on infertility through blogs, articles, videos (I know, sounds obsessive and unhealthy, and it is. This is the only place where I can disclose my true thoughts and feelings. Nobody in my 'real' life knows how far down the rabbit hole I have gone, except my husband). When I do talk to my family, they can't believe the abrupt change in my demeanour. They keep telling me, "I don't get it, you were doing great last year!". I was so career-oriented, pleasant to be around, liked to go out, and catch-up with friends, and now I feel like a completely different person. I don't care about any of those things. 

Sometimes as I am driving or going for walks, I see newly engaged couples or newly weds, and reflexively, part of me is jealous, and I wish I was that naive, optimistic, happy again. Another part of me wants to protect them (even if I don't know them! lol) and wishes them well, and hopes they never have to go through anything close to infertility (I am definitely projecting! lol).



#6 Aiglee

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Posted 30 October 2018 - 10:07 AM

So hard Mcking, I know what you are going through. I wanted to say a few things:

 

* Yes, for us getting a diagnosis was good. It helped me quit/stop/give-up since our chances to get pregnant were non-existent. It helped us move on. Right now I am doing some testing for a blood disorder and they haven't found anything, but the doctor said with my history I do have one even if they never find out which. Even knowing that has helped me immensely mentally but I still hope we find out which one. And of course my mind is now going "does that have to do with no getting pregnant too?". So it never fully 100% stops.

 

* I understand completely how you changed and living around getting pregnant, but from my very sincere recommendation? Work to get out of that. Go to a therapist that works with infertility issues and you like (I found one years ago and she is worth her weight in gold), and do 1 plan that goes against your getting pregnant plan, just 1, and then another one, until you start to feel your life does not revolve around getting pregnant. I know it is VERY hard, and it will feel impossible at first, or like you are quitting, but it is for your own good. It was very hard for me too, and just took one step at a time, until at the very end I just went all in. While we were waiting to adopt, we moved houses and did a MAJOR renovation, got a new hobby, and traveled for work. Well, I found out I would be a mom while in Chicago and had to drop everything and take the next plane back. We had almost no savings because of the move/renovations, but it didn't matter. I had myself back!!! Not saying you will get pregnant once you stop trying, I hate when people say that, I am saying that you need to take care of yourself as a person and not revolve 100% around getting pregnant so you can be happier.

 

I hope you can find answers soon.


  • Aimeehug likes this

TTC since 2012 (plus 2 years around 2008/2010). I'm 37 years old, husband is 28. 
 
Karma: Unexplained. 3 Failed IUIs with injectables in 2014. IVF #1: 5 day embryo transferred, 1 frozen. BFN. FET #1: 1 6 day embryo 2AB. BFN

One Fertility: DOR. AMH of 5.8 (Canadian). IVF #2: 2 eggs fertilized (ICSI), transferred 2 day 3 embryos. BFN

 

Adoption with CAS: Adopted a baby boy! Home since November 6th, 2016, adoption finalized June 26th, 2017.


#7 Aimeehug

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Posted 30 October 2018 - 05:18 PM


I smiled when I read about you taking a 6-month hiatus to go to Cuba for a friend's wedding. Hope you had a blast and glad you were able to take a little bit of a break! Was recently thinking about taking a similar hiatus ( trip to Thailand or Singapore with best friend--also areas with risk of zika). But just can't bring myself to do it. When it really comes down to it, I back out.  Have turned down opportunities to travel, jobs, live abroad, etc., because we kept prioritizing getting pregnant, and we keep thinking, this could be the month! Who knows, maybe as we keep going down this road, that will change. Especially since lately, have not been feeling like myself (even though I have not been on this journey for very long!)

My husband and I got married two years ago (been together for nine years). When I think back to the time, when we were newly married, moved to a new city, got our first house (with plenty of bedrooms for kids, right beside two daycares), got our dream jobs we had worked ten years for--- we were so happy and carefree. I remember thinking to myself at the time, that we had made it. Our dreams were coming true.   This was only a bit over a year ago. Crazy how things can change so fast. I am basically a recluse now. Abruptly quit my well-paid job few months ago, don't like seeing friends or people in general. Basically, I spend as much of my time dedicated towards being as fertile as possible, by optimizing my physical/ mental health and educating myself on infertility through blogs, articles, videos (I know, sounds obsessive and unhealthy, and it is. This is the only place where I can disclose my true thoughts and feelings. Nobody in my 'real' life knows how far down the rabbit hole I have gone, except my husband). When I do talk to my family, they can't believe the abrupt change in my demeanour. They keep telling me, "I don't get it, you were doing great last year!". I was so career-oriented, pleasant to be around, liked to go out, and catch-up with friends, and now I feel like a completely different person. I don't care about any of those things. 

Sometimes as I am driving or going for walks, I see newly engaged couples or newly weds, and reflexively, part of me is jealous, and I wish I was that naive, optimistic, happy again. Another part of me wants to protect them (even if I don't know them! lol) and wishes them well, and hopes they never have to go through anything close to infertility (I am definitely projecting! lol).

Oh man, could I relate to this at one point. It was exhausting.
We held off making a decision to go to Cuba as long as we could, but in the end, it was my friend's wedding and I didn't want to miss it on an off chance I  might miraculously get pregnant naturally.
I have conflicting thoughts on this break. On the one hand, it was so freeing. Not thinking about TTC after over a year of obsessing, hoping, crashing with every AF, tears and anger. It was such a relief to not think about it for basically 6 months (we did do an IUI with frozen sperm during the 6 month post Cuba trip, so there was a little obsessing with that). and btw, freezing sperm ahead of time and then doing IUI might be an option for you, too, it's just pricier.
On the other hand, now that we're at the three year mark, 6 months just added to the wait time. I'm not going to another Zika country for a while, because I can't handle another 6 months, but in the end, I do think that one trip was worthwhile. I stopped taking my BBT, stopped obsessing, and even when we were able to start trying naturally again, I was less crazy about it (still crazy, but not as much).

 

I agree with Aiglee, as hard as it is, it is so important to take care of yourself and not put your life on hold. These years are still important years, even if they're childless. maybe that doesn't mean going to Thailand, if 6 months feels like an eternity, but I do think it's possible to live our lives, even if it's not what we wanted. 
And sometimes I remind myself that I'll have no time for myself once I have children, so I should try to enjoy the childfree lifestyle for the time being. Because one day, I will have my family, and I believe you will too. most women who want children do get children, some way, some how.
Anyway, there's times it's still super challenging for me, and I think I may also check out a therapist who specializes in infertility, to help me enjoy life even if it's not exactly what I was hoping for.


  • Aiglee likes this

me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#8 Aiglee

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Posted 31 October 2018 - 08:35 AM

Beautiful words Aimeehug. 

 

The therapist can really be a life saver, she kept me grounded, saner, and let me unload on her vs always unloading on my husband. He even went to a couple of appointments by himself even though he doesn't like to talk about himself or share feelings, but a good therapist really makes a difference.

 

If it helps at all, the way I found mine was through a infertility support group. She was leading it and I went once. I didn't particulary love the group part but I realized at that moment I really liked her and made my first individual appointment. I am still going every so often (I used to go every 2 weeks at one point) after 5 or so years! She is a social worker and anything not covered through your insurance can be declared in your taxes!!


  • Aimeehug likes this

TTC since 2012 (plus 2 years around 2008/2010). I'm 37 years old, husband is 28. 
 
Karma: Unexplained. 3 Failed IUIs with injectables in 2014. IVF #1: 5 day embryo transferred, 1 frozen. BFN. FET #1: 1 6 day embryo 2AB. BFN

One Fertility: DOR. AMH of 5.8 (Canadian). IVF #2: 2 eggs fertilized (ICSI), transferred 2 day 3 embryos. BFN

 

Adoption with CAS: Adopted a baby boy! Home since November 6th, 2016, adoption finalized June 26th, 2017.


#9 Mcking

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Posted 31 October 2018 - 10:59 AM

Thank you Aiglee and Aimeehug for your advice. I completely agree. I know I need to get out of this rut. I just got to be brave and strong and have the courage like you both did, to take that first step, reframe my thinking, see a therapist--try to live life again and enjoy it. After reading about what you've been through, and how you have handled/continue to handle the challenge of infertility has been both comforting (knowing I am not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel) and motivational. Aiglee, finding yourself again through a move, travelling, new hobbies, and then unexpectedly finding out you're going to be a mom, in the midst of living a meaningful, fulfilling life--is so beautiful and inspiring. 

 

Aimeehug, you're right. These years are still important years. I am still young (even though my eggs might not be...) and I should be continuing to grow and live life. I always wanted to be a person that my future daughter or son would look up to, and be proud of: I wanted to be a mom who has a loving relationship with their dad, loves their job, has hobbies and close friends, and can give wise advice when my kids are in trouble or sad, because I know what it's like to go through tough times, but I also know how to be strong and persevere. And I know I can't be any of these things, if I continue to close off myself in this isolated bubble of sadness and disappointment and be a person I don't like or respect.

 

Speaking of therapists, I actually did go to a therapist for the first time, last month, but it did not go as well as I had hoped. She did not specialize in infertility and she spent the first half hour talking about herself training for a marathon, and ended with a story about how she surprisingly found out she was pregnant while going camping and that I might get pregnant too, when I least expect it. She was a nice lady, but I really should have went to someone who specialized in infertility---my fault. So on your advice, I have started doing some research into a good one that I think could really help. Aimeehug, good luck in finding a therapist to help you get through the challenging times.

 

Two week wait coming up soon for our last 'natural' cycle. If this doesn't work, next month going in for my first ever cycled monitoring/IUI at my fertility clinic.  We shall see what happens.


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#10 Aimeehug

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Posted 31 October 2018 - 12:34 PM

I cringed at your therapist story!!
So, self-disclosure, I'm a therapist, although I work with children. Even without specializing in infertility, that was a pretty insensitive thing to say. And sure, we're not perfect as therapists, I'm sure I've said some cringe-worthy things, but man. She like broke therapy rule 101 with that self-disclosure, so don't blame yourself.

I've seen therapists over the years for different things, not for fertility specifically though. I've had therapists I've really liked, and therapists where it has not worked at all. There's so many different modes of therapy, and different personality types, sometimes it takes a couple  tries to find a good match in therapists!

I hope you are able to get out of the rut. Sometimes it's so hard!


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#11 Aimeehug

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Posted 13 November 2018 - 01:12 PM

Just checking in McKing to see if you're doing any better. .


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#12 Mcking

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 09:14 PM

Hi Aimeehug,

 

Thanks for checking in. And thanks for sharing your thoughts/experiences with therapists. So cool you're a therapist! Such a rewarding and important job (learning that now more than ever). I agree, she was definitely not a good match for me, lol, and like you said, I think it will just take some time to find a good match.

The past few weeks has felt like a whirlwind. Found a therapist I was really interested in, and we were gearing up to do my first ever IUI after trying now for 14 months (naturally). Spent time with my best friend, started taking up hobbies again. My husband and I were nervous, but excited that things were moving forward.

 

Right before we were going to start IUI, plans changed abruptly. My fertility specialist had consulted one of his colleagues about my case. Together, they both felt because I was dealing with a low AMH combined with a probable endometriosis diagnosis (based on my symptoms), they believed escalating care straight to IVF was the best option. They felt IUI would not get me to my goal of 2+ children (although, as I said before, it really would be a blessing and a miracle to have one child at this point, and that's all I'm hoping for right now). They felt I would likely need treatment for the endo (meds or surgery) which could delay things even more, and felt if I created the embryos now, while I am still relatively young, I would be able to slow down the biological clock and secure some decent quality eggs. Then I could concentrate on treating the endo, before embryo transfer.

My husband I were quite shocked. We were scared and confused how things escalated so quickly. We had thoughts like...why didn't they seriously consider endo before (and should I have been treated for this earlier)? Why did they tell me my AMH was on the low-NORMAL side, and now all of a sudden, they feel it's really low--so low we have to go straight to the most aggressive form of infertility treatment (when they said we had time to try the lower intervention stuff for a few months?). We questioned the clinic's motives (we asked ourselves if they were primarily money-driven rather than patient-centered?!). But we put our emotions aside and thought logically, and came to the conclusion that IVF really is the best chance we got and that we should go for it (we both had a few sleepless nights in a row).

So now, I am on treatment day 3 of IVF. Was a bit overwhelming at first, learning the meds, starting up testing again. But now..I feel like I'm surrendering to the process and just riding this big, scary wave--holding on the best I can. Husband/parents/this forum/therapy has been a huge support. We shall see how everything goes. Got blood and ultrasound tests early tomorrow morning. 

Aimeehug--hope things have been going well on your end.


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#13 Aimeehug

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 02:09 PM

Wow McKing! That was fast. Well, you won't have to go through the 3 year process I went through, so that's a positive. I'm on day 5 of stims, will hopefully do an egg retrieval next week, so we're really close in times I guess with this! 

I'm glad things seem to be going better for you, and you're doing more! Hopefully this process goes well! 


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#14 Mcking

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Posted 25 November 2018 - 02:27 PM

Hi Aimeehug,

 

It was very fast. So fast that I haven't really had time to process anything.

Wish you best of luck with your cycle! 



#15 Aimeehug

Aimeehug
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  • Dx:Endometriosis
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Posted 25 November 2018 - 11:26 PM

How are things developing? Im going for potentially my last retrieval before trigger. I was at 7 follicles at last count. Not great numbers but hopefully theres a good egg or two in there.

me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#16 Mcking

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 02:16 PM

Were you given a rough estimate before starting, how much you should expect? 7 follicles seem promising :) It's like everyone says, just need that one good egg. Hope everything works out for you this week!!

 

Trigger for me is likely going to be in next couple days and my retrieval at end of week. I have 5 mature follicles, and some small, immature follicles that are not ready yet. It was expected for me, since my AMH was pretty low for my age, and they told me I could expect 4 to 9 eggs. 

Doctor also said my estrogen levels were lower than they would like to see. So they are continuing to give me the stimulation drugs to try to bring it up and improve quality of the eggs. 

 

How are you dealing with the side effects of the meds? I've been having tons of bloating/cramps, and been following a high-salt diet the clinic has recommended. Which works out fine for me, cause I love salty food, and now have an excuse to binge on salt lol.



#17 Aimeehug

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 08:26 PM

Binging on salty foods is good. They only told me to do that after the retrieval. I haven't been too bad, although my left side (the more active side) has been painful. I tend to get pain there during ovulation even without the meds, but it's been lasting longer this time. They really didn't tell me a lot before going in for this. I know the average is 11 eggs retrieved, and I have low-ish AMH so I suppose it's expected I'd have less than average. 

I asked the doctor today why my one ovary wasn't doing much, and he just said that happens sometimes. 

They haven't mentioned anything about my estradiol, so I imagine it's okay. I know they kept me on the high dose of my meds the entire time, but I think that was based on my follicle count. 

I'm triggering today! And I have about 10 follicles now, although one's only 10 mm, and two are already 20-22mm. But I'm feeling more hopeful again. 
Good luck! 


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#18 Mcking

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Posted 27 November 2018 - 09:36 AM

Wow! 10 follicles-- that's great :) I'm glad you're feeling more hopeful.

I know, they didn't talk much about side effects with me either before going into it. 

Good luck with retrieval!!



#19 Mcking

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 06:38 PM

Hi Octopus,

 

I'm sorry to read you are dealing with secondary infertility. Although, I haven't gone through it and cannot fully relate to your specific situation, I can relate to going through infertility in general, and how one can feel when they realize their best option is IVF. As many people on this forum are already very much aware, IVF is such a huge emotional/financial/physical process. Wishing you the best on your IVF journey.

 

Thanks for your advice. I agree, for all the reasons you listed, things didn't feel right. 

So a few weeks ago, I reiterated my concerns and signs/symptoms you mentioned above to my fertility specialist.As a result, he consulted another doctor, and my team changed their care plan. They wanted me to go straight to IVF, on the basis that my symptoms were pointing towards endometriosis and I had a low AMH for my age. They wanted me to secure some decent embryos while I was still relatively young, and hopefully try and avoid going through secondary infertility in the future. I am coming to the end of my current IVF cycle (retrieval is tomorrow). I am nervous, but excited to complete this cycle. I really feel that although we went straight to IVF so quickly, that this really is the best choice for my husband and I. Like you said, right now I'm just trusting my intuition, and making sure at the end of day, I am happy with the choices I made (even if they don't work out), and I hope I don't ever have to live with soul-crushing regret.

 

P.S. I agree, for doctors to stick to that hard and fast rule of 12 months, regardless of the patient, can be really detrimental to people who need help earlier and are clearly presenting concerning signs/symptoms pointing towards diagnoses that may impact infertility. I feel in general, people too often get cookie cutter treatment, when their cases should really be considered on an individualized basis. Learning this has been frustrating and disappointing. But also taught me (as well thanks to others advice), how important it is to advocate for yourself. 



#20 Aimeehug

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  • Interests:Writing, reading, volleyball, yoga, watching TV
  • Dx:Endometriosis
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Posted 29 November 2018 - 09:02 PM

Any news on retrieval? I had mine yesterday and only got 6 eggs:/. But 5 of them fertilized so Im trying to remain hopeful!
Actually my doctor initially wanted me to do ivf sooner and not do so many iuis. But I wasnt there yet. Sounds like I have very similar things going on (low AMH and endo). And we had to do ivf in the end, so its prob a good thing you are on this journey sooner.

me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#21 Mcking

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 06:39 PM

Don't know about you, but first IVF felt like a whirlwind. Days flew by, and still can't believe it's over.

Finally recovering from my retrieval 6 days ago. Was really feeling poorly (pain, cramping, etc) after retrieval. Things just turned around past day or so, and just finally managing to get out of house and take a few steps around the block. Managed to freeze 4 embryos, which was in the range I was told I should expect, so I am very grateful. 

Onto investigating more about possible endo. My followup with doctor is in couple weeks, so looking forward to finding out what my next steps are. As I understand it, I may do biopsy, or just straight to treatment for couple months before frozen embryo transfer. 

I agree, sounds like we have very similar things going on.

Hope things are going well with you. 



#22 Aimeehug

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 09:42 PM

Freezing four is great! The documents the clinic gave me suggested that on average, 11 eggs are collected, 8 are mature, and 3-4 as final results.

IVF was a whirlwind at first, but now that I'm officially in the tww, it is dragging. I probably should have returned to work this week. I will be back at work next week.

I imagine that since it was such a quick decision for you, it even feels more like a whirlwind. We have such a wait at our clinic, that even once we decided to do IVF, we had to wait another 2-3 months before we could start.
My blasts did great. We got 5 in the end, out of 6 eggs. When I heard I only got 6, I was telling myself to be happy if I ended up with 1 or 2. I still can't believe we got 5. I'm so hoping this means we won't have to do another cycle of IVF. Hopefully my body knows what to do with an embryo once it's started. And hopefully embie is a good one. But all up to chance now. 


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#23 Mcking

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 10:26 AM

Glad to hear you got 5 out of 6! i would be really happy with that too :) Two week wait must be excruciatingly long. I agree, going back to work will definitely help pass the time. Wishing you best of luck over next week.

 

I am currently trying to educate myself prior to my follow-up with my RE in a couple weeks. That way, I can go in and have an informed discussion with him. It is very hard to schedule a meet with him, so I am trying to bunch all of my questions together.

We are going to be doing a FET with the embryos retrieved this cycle. Or possibly go back and try IUI (since we skipped this step and now hopefully have a bit of time to figure out whether I have endometriosis, and if I do, treat it, before transfer or insemination).

Wondering before/at the time of your endometriosis diagnosis, did you have any experience with:

 

1) ERA (endometrial receptivity assay) = find out ideal window of implantation

2) Receptiva test = biopsy to find out whether you have endometriosis

3) Endometrial scratch = to help with implantation

4) Pre-treatment with Lupron/birth control pills for 2-3 months prior to trying IUI/FET to help decrease inflammation and optimize uterine lining 

 

I have been reading the endometrial threads here on this forum, as well as articles and blogs. It seems like there are quite a few options available that I will discuss with my RE. Wondering if I should do a mock cycle and try to incorporate all of the techniques to give best chance for implantation (since I think this may be my problem, given that I produced decent quality embryos--albeit a small number, which was to be expected for me). I heard the ERA/receptiva test can take up to 6 months to get done, which I am okay with, if it gives some answers and helps with the final outcome. 

 

 

Thanks for your input in advance.



#24 Aimeehug

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 04:40 PM

So I had a laporoscopy back in January where they diagnosed me with it, and they cauterized it all off back then. I haven't really had anything else done, and my doctor didn't mention needing to do anything else. 
I was on BCP for two months prior to the egg retrieval and on Lupron for a week or two before starting stims, but it also sounded like that was the clinic's usual protocol, so I don't know if they did anything particularly different for me. I don't know if they felt it'd be fine because I've already been treated within the last year? If this one doesn't take, I am going to ask about whether we should be doing anything different for my lining. 

They have me on Prometrium 3 times a day to help, but again, that's the protocol I think they use for almost everyone. We'll see how it goes. 


me: 34 DH: 35 TTC since: Sep 2015

 

Jan 2018- Lap for Endo, and septum removal surgery

Mar-Aug 2018- 3 failed IUIs

Nov 2018- IVF...got my very first ever positive. 

Dec 19 2018- confirmed loss. at 5 weeks. cry.gif

Feb. 2019- preparing for first FET. Let's do this!

March 13, 2019- Transfer date for FET #1

March 18, 2019- turned 34 and got a squinter 5dp5dt.

March 22, 2019- Positive Beta! 

April 8, 2019- 1st ultrasound. all good except a small SCH.


#25 Mcking

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Posted 09 December 2018 - 08:10 AM

Thanks for the reply. Everyone's case is different, so you're right that they likely factored in that you have had surgery in the past year.

 

I have also read that RE's sometimes only like to do some of these tests after recurrent implantation failure and they want to do further investigation. But again, this is just based off of my own research, which can only take me so far. I need to wait to hear what he has to say next week.