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#1 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
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Posted 07 July 2008 - 08:26 AM

Ugh.

Have my epic fail cycle follow up today over the phone at 3pm.

I feel sick.

I'm afraid she is going to tell me my eggs are bad, and that there is no point in ever doing this again...

This might be a tad irrational, but it is still a possibility...and I seriously feel like puking.

I just wish there had been a slight glimmer of hope with my cycle, instead of NOTHING. That is just too much to take some days...:(

Wish me luck. :(
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

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#2 KristaA

KristaA
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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Drayton Valley
  • Dx:PCOS
  • My Clinic:Edmonton

Posted 07 July 2008 - 08:46 AM

GOOD LUCK Hopeful.............I'm sure everything will be alright!! Best wishes!

Kahtila :flowers:
Me (Krista): 34 DH (Rob): 31 (YES...I'm a cougar!:) )
We have 5 furr-babies (Dusty the pug, Yoda the siamese, and Abbey the orange tabby, Morty the white lionhead rabbit)
TTC: Since April/06
Cause: PCOS and male problems (blockage and antibodies)

Posted Image Posted Image



TTC Miracle #1
06/04/08- IUI #1 BFN
07/04/08- IUI #2 BFP
3/18/09-DS born

Posted Image



TTC Miracle #2
04/18/10-07/15/10 Clomid Cycle IUI's #3, #4, #5, #6 ALL BFN
09/09/10-11/02/10- Puregon Injectible IUI #7, #8, #9 ALL BFN

The next step.......

IVF#1
02/07/011-ER~16 retrieved, 10 fertilized
02/12/2011-ET~5 frosties
02/21/2011-BETA #1~ WOOHOO! 141
02/23/2011-BETA #2~ Whoot whoot....342
02/27/2011-BETA #3~1497 :)
03/16/2011-1st u/s-OMG We're having twins!!!!! U/s showed two little beans bopping around! Twin A hb was 152 and Twin B hb was 166! I'm in shock!!! :)
04/04/2011-u/s Yup, still 2 in there!
04/06/2011-1st OB Appointment
04/28/2011-NT/Fetal Echo~Babies measuring right on track and everything looks good! Twin A HB 159 and Twin B HB 155.
05/04/2011-2nd Prenatal Appointment~All good with babes, my bp is on the rise though.....great here we go again with high bp! :(
06/08/2011-Anatomy Scan & 3rd Prenatal Appointment~ 2 MORE BOYS FOR US!!! :)~Holy DOODLE I'll have my hands full!
06/25/2011-3D u/s! It was AWESOME! Twin A hb 146 and Twin B hb 156. They are DEFINATELY boys! :)
07/13/2011-3rd Prenatal Appointment~ Both boys thriving! Twin A is 1lb9oz w/ hb167 and Twin B is 1lb7oz w/ hb165.
08/10/2011-4th Prenatal Appointment w/ u/s. All good starting to go every 2 weeks now. Twin A is approx. 2lb15oz and Twin B is approx. 3lb3oz.
08/24/2011-5th Prenatal appointment. Uh-oh bp's not so good have to see Dr every week now and she's threatening to put me in the hospital.
08/31/2011- 6th Prenatal appointment. BP's is REALLY bad...starting medication and the threat of hospital still lingers.... :(
09/07/2011-7th Prenatal appointment and u/s. Both babies weighing approx. 4lb6oz and doing GREAT. I've dropped and Dr warned me could be ANYDAY now......Ekkkk.....am I ready?!?!
10/06/2011-(36w4d)Bennett Lloyd Adam and Joshua Ernest Andrew made their appearance at 2:24am and 3:00am. Both weighed 6lbs and 6ozs. They are gorgeous and I'm so in love.......

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After years of trying and thousands of $$ spent for our miracle family my husband and I can finally say........SCREW YOU infertility we won and you lost! We have our family that you spent years taunting us with!! How does it feel bitch to be the loser this time!! :)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."

#3

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:08 AM

I'm not an expert, but I don't believe that one "bad" batch of eggs dooms you to failure forever. Our first attempt had only 4 eggs, two of which were good quality for transfer. Our second attempt, however, had only 3 eggs, all of which were NOT of good quality - only 1 made it to transfer and that was a poor quality embryo at best. Our third attempt, however, had 5 eggs retrived from 6 follicles. 4 fertilized and ALL 4 were of above average quality for transfer on D3 ... and now we have our BFP.

What was the difference? I lost a little weight (in a healthy way, by eating lots of fruits and veggies, good meats, milk, whole grains and cutting way back on breads), I drank 2 - 3 L of water each day and cut out all sodas (I don't drink tea or coffee or I would have dropped those too). But besides that, I had renewed hope with our new clinic, and went into it knowing that this was our last attempt so whatever will be, will be. That didn't stop some worrying, but by the time all the procedures were done, I was "relaxed" in that I knew that I had done everything that I could possibly do.

Can I say for sure that any of that made a difference? No. But I do know that each cycle was different, and just because I had one bad one, it didn't stop a great cycle from following.

Good luck to you!

#4 hopeful_flyer

hopeful_flyer
  • 1000+
  • 1320 posts
  • Location:Sudbury
  • Interests:belly shots, ass shots, bloating, cramping, dildo cams and broken hearts. Oh, and vajay suppositories.
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Mt Sinai

Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:20 AM

Thanks guys.

Dh just called, we are going for Thai for a lunch date.....so we can try to relax a little bit.

i know I am being a total drama queen..but I have just had such a BAD run of luck for the past few years...I just have a hard time with positivity...

But you are right.

Ugh.

Still feel icky.

LOL
ttc #1 Since Jan 2006. as of April 09 that means ttc for 40 months. Jebus. *sigh*
Bilaterally blocked tubes discovered Dec 2007
IVF#1 June, 2008 agonist protocol
300IU gonal f, 13 days of stims. Nothing to transfer.
EPIC FAIL
IVF#2 Started BCP for Antagonist protocol Oct 9, 2008 (menopur and centrotide)
Last BCP, Nov 2, 2008
First U/S Nov 2, start 300iu Menopur Nov 7, 2008
Back for daily scans and bloods starting Nov 11, 2008
U/S showed 5 follies between 1.1 and 1.25 start Centrotide today.
Nov 13 U/S showed 7 follies between 1.2 and 1.5
Next U/S Nov 14 10 follies
Trigger Nov 15
ER date, Nov 17th
6 retrieved.
4 mature and ICSI'd, 3 dividing on day 1.
3 still alive on day 2
ET Nov 20, 2008. All 3 going back!
8 cell grade 2, 6 cell grade 2, 7 cell grade 3 put back.
8dp3dt Brown spotting
AF arrived Nov 28, WAY early, thanks a lot...*sigh*
Beta Dec 1, 2008 (what is the point? NONE)
RE appointment April 27, 2009 to discuss IVF#2, and then I think we are done. Oh well, was a fun ride? *snicker*

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. -Atlas Shrugged

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”- Einstein.

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Blinkie Maker

#5 Hero08

Hero08
  • Member
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  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Foothills - Regional Fertility Program

Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:35 AM

Hi Hopeful - I just wanted to say good luck with your meeting. I have a feeling it will go better than you expect and remember - bad luck doesn't last forever...:)
Me: 43 DH: 38
TTC for 4 years
3 iuis w/ clomid
1 1/2 yrs TCM
IVF #1 a success!
ER June 12, 2008 ET June 15 (5 transferred)
Beta June 29 1133
First Ultrasound July - 2 heartbeats
Official Due Date Mid Feb 2009 (38 weeks)
Gabriella Rose (5lb 14oz) and Chloe Jane (6lb 3oz)
born 5am Feb 19, 2009

#6 onedaysoon

onedaysoon
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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Montreal
  • Dx:Endometriosis
  • My Clinic:Montreal Fertility

Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:42 AM

Hopeful - Good luck this afternoon! Don't be shy - ask the questions that you need answered. If you are going to cycle there again, you want them to know what needs to be done differently for you. Hopefully you get some of the answers that you were looking for!
Me: 31 DH: 37
Diagnosis: Endometriosis and MF
TTC #1: since July 2005
June 2008 1st IVF:
January 22nd 2009: Jacob Robert Brian born 8 weeks early!
TTC#2: since Fall 2009
June 2010: First FET
Thawed all five frosties, transfered two
BFN :(
September 2010: Second IVF
4 fertilized, 1 transferred, none frozen
BFP! First beta 182, second 392, waiting on third...

#7

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:57 AM

Good luck Hopeful. I'm thinking they will be providing some options for you and hoping you get some optimistic news.

#8 sdmann

sdmann
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  • Location:Vancouver
  • Dx:Other

Posted 07 July 2008 - 11:23 AM

Hi Hopeful - Hope your appointment goes well and you get some answers and renewed hope.

#9 tryingforever

tryingforever
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  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 07 July 2008 - 11:54 AM

Hi Hopeful

Good luck with everthing today. I agree with previous posters - ask all the questions you can think of - write them down over lunch with DH so you don't forget.

My thoughts are with you to get some optimistic news!

kdl
TTC for 6 years
me=41 dh=44
Jan 07 - HSG - Right tube blocked
Feb 07 - Tubal Canalization perform to unblock tube - unsuccessful
Apr & May 07 - Clomid BFN x 2
July 07 - cancelled IUI - FSH too high to start
Aug 07 - 1st IUI - 2 follicles on left, 1 on right - BFN
Oct 07 - 2nd IUI - 1 med follicle on left, 1 lge on right - BFN
Dec 07 - HSG - now both tubes open???
Jan 08 - 3rd IUI - 5 large follicles - BFN
Apr 08 - 1st IVF cycle started and then cancelled due to poor response.
Jul 08 - 2nd IVF cycle cancelled again due to poor response. Converted to IUI - BFN
Oct 14 - 3rd IVF ER Oct 27, ET Oct 30 (only one 5 cell grade 1 transfered)
Nov 13 - BFN
Apr 09 - IVF #4 - BFN

#10

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 01:40 PM

Ugh.

Have my epic fail cycle follow up today over the phone at 3pm.

I feel sick.

I'm afraid she is going to tell me my eggs are bad, and that there is no point in ever doing this again...

This might be a tad irrational, but it is still a possibility...and I seriously feel like puking.

I just wish there had been a slight glimmer of hope with my cycle, instead of NOTHING. That is just too much to take some days...:(

Wish me luck. :(

Hi,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I had egg retreival yesterday-Sun. and was told that the two leading follicles, which we thought would contain eggs, did not contain eggs. So, they retreived three eggs, but heard back this morning that none of them have matured yet. They will wait one more day to see if they do mature, but there isn't much hope. I have Crohn's disease, which caused both of my tubes to be blocked. So, the last 18 months has been hell for us. On wait list in Calgary for what seems like an eternity, then right tube removed-not fun! Now, two failed IVF procedures. Was on the "surge" protocol, which they say is the most aggressive protocal to IVF, so another IVF procedure is not recommended. We are now looking into egg donor-only to find out the Canadian government has outlawed it! Now, we are looking into Seattle or Denver egg donor programs, which are very expensive!! I feel angry, sad and disillusioned all at the same time. I am trying to put my life into perspective, but most people just don't get it! If you need someone to talk to-please e-mail. Good luck! Remember, there is always hope!

#11 Katherine e

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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Edmonton
  • Interests:Scrapbooking
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  • My Clinic:PCRM (Burnaby)

Posted 07 July 2008 - 02:11 PM

Hopeful flyer,

Good luck with your follow up. I hope it brings some renewed hope for you... it seems that sometime it is dark everywhere- but the sun will come up....

(hugs)

Katherine
Me: 36, DH 34
-unexplained infertilty
-TTC since May 05
-Edmonton Fertility Clinic
-clomid "au naturel" June 07, Aug 07- BFN
-4 IUI's on clomid July 07, Sept 07, Oct 07, Oct 07 (it's a long month- I fit 2 in!)- BFN
-3 IUI's with superovulation Nov 07, Jan 08, March 08- BFN
-started accupuncture in March 08

IVF #1 at PCRM in July 08
-ER July 18th- 16 eggs- 10 mature- 8 fertilized normally
-ET July 23rd (day 5 transfer)- 2 embies..... no icebabies...... BFN :-(

IVF #2 at PCRM in Nov 08
-ER Nov 12 - 16 eggs- 9 mature- 8 fertilized normally
-ET Nov 17 (5 days transfer)- 2 embies... no icebabies...
-Beta Nov 26=7 = chemical pregnancy. BFN :-(

-Starting the domestic adoption process!

#12 maybebaby

maybebaby
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  • Location:Toronto
  • Interests:Home Decor/Renovating/Gardening...sleeping.
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Mount Sinai Hospital RBU

Posted 07 July 2008 - 02:16 PM

I'm not an expert, but I don't believe that one "bad" batch of eggs dooms you to failure forever. Our first attempt had only 4 eggs, two of which were good quality for transfer. Our second attempt, however, had only 3 eggs, all of which were NOT of good quality - only 1 made it to transfer and that was a poor quality embryo at best. Our third attempt, however, had 5 eggs retrived from 6 follicles. 4 fertilized and ALL 4 were of above average quality for transfer on D3 ... and now we have our BFP.

What was the difference? I lost a little weight (in a healthy way, by eating lots of fruits and veggies, good meats, milk, whole grains and cutting way back on breads), I drank 2 - 3 L of water each day and cut out all sodas (I don't drink tea or coffee or I would have dropped those too). But besides that, I had renewed hope with our new clinic, and went into it knowing that this was our last attempt so whatever will be, will be. That didn't stop some worrying, but by the time all the procedures were done, I was "relaxed" in that I knew that I had done everything that I could possibly do.

Can I say for sure that any of that made a difference? No. But I do know that each cycle was different, and just because I had one bad one, it didn't stop a great cycle from following.

Good luck to you!


I loved what you wrote, thanks for the encouragement to all us 'over 35 babes' that are worried about poor ovarian reserve! Lucky you, congrats on your BFP. Hope we all get to be in your shoes.
:flowers:
ME-41 DH-41 TTC 5 years AFC: 5 left, 9 right / Sperm Count & Motility good, morphology?
m/c - September 2004 & October 2005 (both natural) / furbaby - December 2005
HSC to 'have a look' - January 2006 / HSC to remove uterine polyp - November 2007
BFN after IUI - April 2008 (puregon & ovidrel) / BFN after IUI - June 2008 (puregon & ovidrel)
Cancelled proposed IVF for August 2008. Have decided not to pursue aggressive means of conception.
--------------------
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#13 Rufus

Rufus
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Posted 07 July 2008 - 04:42 PM

So sorry your IVF cycle was such a difficult one, Hopeful Flyer. Hopefully you got some good news and some answers today.
Me: 44 DH: 48
After 3 fresh cycles and 1 FET:
Beautiful Baby Girl arrived January 10, 2010

Final FET: late February 2012
Started estrace Feb 8
Lining check: Feb 21...need a few more days
Feb 23...need 5 more days!
Feb 28 - good to go!!

Embryo transfer: March 4 "a perfect transfer" of 2 blasts (1 survived thaw with 100% of cells intact, 1 with 50% of cells intact)

Beta: March 17 - negative

#14 baby2be

baby2be

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 05:43 PM

I think you will be okay. You RE most likely wants to talk about the failed cycle and what the next steps will be.

Best of luck!

Hugs,
Dana
ME-30 DH-39
TTC 8 years
1st IVF May/June 2006- Chem pg
2 FETs-BFN
PCOS, Damaged Tubes
Tubes removed May 2007
2nd. IVF Oct/ Nov 2007- BFN
3rd. IVF Feb/ March 2008- BFN
3rd. FET July/ Aug 2008- BFP Beta 6dp5dt 9, 8dp5dt 45, 11dp5dt 131, 15dp5dt 971, 21dp5dt 3060
4th. FET July 29th, 2010.
BETA 5.5dp5dt 14.6, 7.5dp5dt 53.6,10.5dp5dt 149.4,17.5dp5dt 1902, 19.5dp5dt 3282
Ultrasound showed one little bean!!

Vanessa arrived April 28, 2009!!!
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb3f.lilypie....hp/mhxbh8w.jpg" width="60" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie - Personal picture" /><img src="http://lb3f.lilypie....com/mhxbm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Third Birthday tickers" /></a>

Jaydan arrived April 9, 2011
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie....hp/RmHSFJO.jpg" width="100" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie - Personal picture" /><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie....com/RmHSm7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>