Okay, so our surro is now hormonally pregnant, with the ultrasound coming up likely right after Easter. So far, we've told my parents, but DH won't be telling his until after the ultrasound. No one else, other than people on this board (as well as my surro's DH and people from the surrogate consultancy) know. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly to tell older relatives, who may not quite understand the process (especially my grandmother, who is, let's just say, VERY CATHOLIC). I may leave it to my parents, since it's hard for me to properly communicate with her due to language issues (my Cantonese is somewhat limited - my vocabulary level is probably equivalent to that of a young child - and her English even more so). I think people in my parents' age demographic may somewhat understand - at least from a scientific perspective - but whether they agree or not is another thing. However, they're more likely to be diplomatic about it than a 90-something woman with a limited education (this grandmother, unlike my mom's mom, only went to school until she was in (the equivalent of) Grade 2. My maternal grandmother finished high school). For those of you with very old fashioned relatives and used surrogates, how did you tell them? Any advice? Thanks!
Telling Family (and Friends)
#1
Posted 19 March 2018 - 08:50 AM
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Advised Not to Get Pregnant: Circa 1994 or 1995 (I was FIFTEEN!!!)
Married: August 2010
Started Adoption Process: January 2013
Started Researching Surrogacy: August 2016
Found Embryos: November 2016
Matched with Surrogate: April 2017, all adoption put on hold (never matched with a child)
Surrogate's First Transfer: July 2017 (one FET) - BFP, but m/c or chemical (unsure, since second beta rose more than 60%, but third beta dropped)
Surrogate's Second Transfer: October 2017 (one FET) - BFN
Surrogate's Third Transfer: December 2017 (double transfer) - BFN
Moving on to donor eggs...
New donor embryos available!!! Trying with them
Surrogate's Fourth Transfer: February 2018 - was to be a double transfer, but one did not survive thawing, so single transfer; First beta - 685!!!!!; Beta #2 - 1594!!!
First ultrasound (at 7 weeks, 2 days): Heart rate of 154 bpm, measuring slightly behind (just under 7 weeks)
Second ultrasound (9 weeks, 1 day): Heart rate of 170 bpm, measuring small (again) at a little under 9 weeks. Basically, it is growing at a good pace, just small - UPDATE: heart rate is 175 bpm according to an email from the clinic!
Harmony tests show that we are low risk and we're Team