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49 with one vial left, at home insemination?

single IUI home insemination donor sperm 49 advanced age

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#1 ellyn

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Posted 09 January 2018 - 12:55 PM

Single  mom of a 5 yo boy. Did IVF with donor sperm at 43, gave birth at 44 to a healthy, perfect boy. Got pg on first round, good number of follicles, egg count/quality, transferred 3, 1 grew to my baby, none made it to day 5 for freezing, so none left.

 

I just discovered that I have 1 vial of frozen sperm at the fertility clinic.

 

I purchased 2 at the start but only needed one. After my son was born, the first year is still fuzzy, I swear I remember the clinic sending me a message asking me if I wanted to remaining vial to stay in storage or be discarded. OR something like that, I honestly have little recollection but I thought for the past 5 years that there was no more sperm left, so I never thought about doing it again.

 

Well, lo and behold, I emailed the fertility clinic and was shocked to find out they still have the vial.

 

I only emailed them recently because I had a few conversations with friends about wishing I had tried for another and thought I would double check with the clinic. I found myself regretting  not trying for another sooner as I have often felt this over the years wishing my son had a sibling and I had a larger family. So when I found out there is still sperm left, I cried and cried feeling elated that there still might be a chance and conflicted because I waited so long, regretting not figuring this out sooner, depressed because at my age, no clinic is going to work with me at 49.

 

I have a glimmer of hope because I still menstruate regularly, have no health conditions, have been pg in the past, and got pg on the first try with IVF at 43 with 13 eggs, all good to excellent quality, etc etc. The only reason I did IVF was because I was/am single and had no sperm, not because of fertility issues.

 

I know the chances are slim, 1% or less and the chances of birth defects are so much higher. I dont' have the financial resources to do IVF again even if a clinic would take me.

 

So what do to do with the leftover sperm. I cannot bring myself to discard it and as long as there is a tiny chance, I want to try to get pg again. The only option for that seems to be at home insemination.

 

Will the clinic just released the vial to me for in home insemination? I emailed them to ask but haven't gotten a response yet.

 

I'm really kicking myself over this whole thing. All of the conflicting emotions from before come up, grieving the loss of my own fertility, managing on my own if I had another, not having a sibling for my son, regretting not starting much earlier.... Just like the first time, I would have deep regrets if I didn't try.


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Me: 43 and single. No known fertility issues, pregnant once, no births. Donor sperm
Montreal
1 dog
1 cat
Feb. 2012 - Just starting to think seriously about this whole thing (a little late, I know)
Feb. 8 - First consultation with Montreal Fertility Center (YIKES! and YAY!) - started Folic Acid
Feb. 17 - Started weekly acupuncture and Chinese Herbs, CoQ10, Royal Jelly, Fish Oil, MultiV.
Feb. 24 - Initial diagnostics: 7 follicles
March 27 - Started IVF cycle #1. Baseline US only 3 follies. Gonal F, Luveris, Estrace.
Apr. 3 - 7 follies
Apr. 5 - Started Ogalutron
Apr. 6 - 9 follies bt 8-11mm; Lining 10.6
Apr. 9- 12 follies bt 11-21mm, Trigger shot
Apr. 11 - ER - 13 eggs. 10 mature, 10 fertilized, 9 divided
April 14 - 3 day transfer of 3 embryos (2 Grade 1; 1 Grade 2). None made it to blast.
- started progesterone (Crinone) suppositories (am) and Estrace (2x/day)
April 26 - Beta - positive - 179 15dp3dt
July 17 - 16 weeks! So far all is good. NT scan was good 1:780, 1.7mm. Had amnio yesterday.
EDD - Dec. 31, 2012 !!!

Nov. 28 - boy came 5 wks early after emergency C-section, but all ok!


#2 quandry

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Posted 09 January 2018 - 04:41 PM

You could always do a donor egg ivf with the donor sperm? If you pack it up in dry ice and go to Europe it can be a lot cheaper than even regular ivf here. dE cycle in Czech Republic is about 4000 euros.

See about me page.

 

 


#3 ellyn

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Posted 10 January 2018 - 02:10 PM

Thanks quandry.
 
I didn't know about the Czech Rep., but looked it up and the cutoff age is 48. I do see some other countries that will treat women over 50, so all hope is not lost. With donor eggs of course.
 
i still feel very conflicted. When I did my first IVF with donor sperm, I, in no way, wanted to use donor eggs and ruled that out. Mine or none. Now, I feel a bit differently but obviously would rather have my own biological child. Coming to terms with the lack of possibility is heartbreaking. And the inevitable loss of fertility.
 
In the meantime, my clinic responded to my inquiry about obtaining the sperm vial for home insemination. They said its a possibility but I would have to consult with the dr first.
 
I'm pretty surprised actually. I know the dr, who did my IVF before, was great in many ways, but the entire time was very discouraging and kept reminding me I had only a 5% chance of a live birth because I was 43. I'm sure now, he will laugh in my face.
 
In some ways, I feel that trying a one time home insemination, which is almost impossible to result in a healthy live birth, is symbolic. A way to use up the sperm, use up my chances, to say that I gave it one more try. If I did get pg, would I miscarry? If not, then would testing reveal chromosomal abnormalities? Then what decisions would be before me? If all seemed ok, would I have a positive birthing experience, free of complications? THe first was an emergency C-section, 5 weeks early and we both almost died. Torn placenta and I didn't dialate enough. I'm really afraid of going through that again.
 
So much to think about.
 
If I did have another, how would I manage two as a single mom? My son is now at the age, where is so much easier, and do I want to deal with a newborn and all that entails again? I would be restricted from doing so much of the things that I enjoy with my son...movies, vacations, etc. I was sitting with him last night watching Star Wars and thought about how wonderful it was just to relax with him. He can go get his own snacks, get dressed,....a baby would feel like I'm taking all that away from him.
 
Yet, I know babyhood does not last long and I think long term of how much I would love to have two, and know my son would be such a wonderful big brother. There would be an age gap however, but my son wouldn't be alone if somethign happens to me. With an egg donor, he would at least be related through the sperm donor. He knows all about that and the donor is open ID, which I would want for any egg donor.
 
Giving up having a bio child is hard. There are so many stories I tell my son about his grandfather, so many traits he has of my father, he looks so much like him, etc. I know I would navigate through that carefully and would love a child no matter what, but the thoughts do surface.
 
I pursued adoption while trying to get pg and was on a wait list. Had a call when my son was only 2 mths old and I said, no. I just could not do it at that time. Now, they say I"m too old for a newborn and referred me to ONtario for an older child possibility. I didn't pursue that.
 
So, it seems I'm not desperate for another, like I was with my first. That's because I feel very lucky. Yet, I do feel so full of regret for not trying earlier.
 
Sorry, for going on and on. Mostly just thinking it through and it helps to do it here.

Me: 43 and single. No known fertility issues, pregnant once, no births. Donor sperm
Montreal
1 dog
1 cat
Feb. 2012 - Just starting to think seriously about this whole thing (a little late, I know)
Feb. 8 - First consultation with Montreal Fertility Center (YIKES! and YAY!) - started Folic Acid
Feb. 17 - Started weekly acupuncture and Chinese Herbs, CoQ10, Royal Jelly, Fish Oil, MultiV.
Feb. 24 - Initial diagnostics: 7 follicles
March 27 - Started IVF cycle #1. Baseline US only 3 follies. Gonal F, Luveris, Estrace.
Apr. 3 - 7 follies
Apr. 5 - Started Ogalutron
Apr. 6 - 9 follies bt 8-11mm; Lining 10.6
Apr. 9- 12 follies bt 11-21mm, Trigger shot
Apr. 11 - ER - 13 eggs. 10 mature, 10 fertilized, 9 divided
April 14 - 3 day transfer of 3 embryos (2 Grade 1; 1 Grade 2). None made it to blast.
- started progesterone (Crinone) suppositories (am) and Estrace (2x/day)
April 26 - Beta - positive - 179 15dp3dt
July 17 - 16 weeks! So far all is good. NT scan was good 1:780, 1.7mm. Had amnio yesterday.
EDD - Dec. 31, 2012 !!!

Nov. 28 - boy came 5 wks early after emergency C-section, but all ok!


#4 babyeden

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Posted 11 January 2018 - 07:40 PM

Thanks quandry.
 
I didn't know about the Czech Rep., but looked it up and the cutoff age is 48. I do see some other countries that will treat women over 50, so all hope is not lost. With donor eggs of course.
 
i still feel very conflicted. When I did my first IVF with donor sperm, I, in no way, wanted to use donor eggs and ruled that out. Mine or none. Now, I feel a bit differently but obviously would rather have my own biological child. Coming to terms with the lack of possibility is heartbreaking. And the inevitable loss of fertility.
 
In the meantime, my clinic responded to my inquiry about obtaining the sperm vial for home insemination. They said its a possibility but I would have to consult with the dr first.
 
I'm pretty surprised actually. I know the dr, who did my IVF before, was great in many ways, but the entire time was very discouraging and kept reminding me I had only a 5% chance of a live birth because I was 43. I'm sure now, he will laugh in my face.
 
In some ways, I feel that trying a one time home insemination, which is almost impossible to result in a healthy live birth, is symbolic. A way to use up the sperm, use up my chances, to say that I gave it one more try. If I did get pg, would I miscarry? If not, then would testing reveal chromosomal abnormalities? Then what decisions would be before me? If all seemed ok, would I have a positive birthing experience, free of complications? THe first was an emergency C-section, 5 weeks early and we both almost died. Torn placenta and I didn't dialate enough. I'm really afraid of going through that again.
 
So much to think about.
 
If I did have another, how would I manage two as a single mom? My son is now at the age, where is so much easier, and do I want to deal with a newborn and all that entails again? I would be restricted from doing so much of the things that I enjoy with my son...movies, vacations, etc. I was sitting with him last night watching Star Wars and thought about how wonderful it was just to relax with him. He can go get his own snacks, get dressed,....a baby would feel like I'm taking all that away from him.
 
Yet, I know babyhood does not last long and I think long term of how much I would love to have two, and know my son would be such a wonderful big brother. There would be an age gap however, but my son wouldn't be alone if somethign happens to me. With an egg donor, he would at least be related through the sperm donor. He knows all about that and the donor is open ID, which I would want for any egg donor.
 
Giving up having a bio child is hard. There are so many stories I tell my son about his grandfather, so many traits he has of my father, he looks so much like him, etc. I know I would navigate through that carefully and would love a child no matter what, but the thoughts do surface.
 
I pursued adoption while trying to get pg and was on a wait list. Had a call when my son was only 2 mths old and I said, no. I just could not do it at that time. Now, they say I"m too old for a newborn and referred me to ONtario for an older child possibility. I didn't pursue that.
 
So, it seems I'm not desperate for another, like I was with my first. That's because I feel very lucky. Yet, I do feel so full of regret for not trying earlier.
 
Sorry, for going on and on. Mostly just thinking it through and it helps to do it here.

 

Have you tried Mexico? https://www.ivfinmexico.com/ivf/



#5 maybebaby2

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Posted 16 January 2018 - 08:12 PM

Hi Ellyn,

I get where you're coming from, though it's a bit different for us. We had our son after several years of miscarriages and infertility. So, we feel so blessed to have him. We had 2 more embryos left in storage, though. Now that he's almost 3, we finally decided to give it a try. But we're only partly doing it because we'd like a bigger family, a sibling for him. But the other half is because he's so awesome and it's hard to picture missing out on another kid like him. And we can't put our minds to rest at just letting them discard the embryos. So, I tried in December and had a chemical pregnancy. I think we'll be trying again in a couple months, and using the last one. But in my 40s, I don't want to put it off any longer. The big worry is that there could be something wrong. That we'll be older and it would be hard enough to care for a healthy baby, but what about a child that needs more care? But I understand it is still a really small chance.

I'd probably be doing the same as you're thinking. Try the at home insemination, mainly for the symbolic try, and just in case fate decides it's right for you, and say a little prayer to please let this be only if it is best for all involved. Good luck deciding!


3 early miscarriages

several unsuccessful IUIs

1 unsuccessful IVF

1 successful FET - DS 2.5yo

FET Dec 10


#6 Windsor

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Posted 17 January 2018 - 10:05 AM

I think the clinics in Mexico have a cutoff age of 55 for doing IVF. Maybe longer for donor egg IVF. They have really good donors to choose from if you want to go that route. The clinics are clean, modern, caring, professional, and better personalized service than I experienced at North American clinics, I can personally recommend Fertility Center Cancun, where we were successful having our baby girl. But there's also Irega, LIV, & other clinics available. Bonus of doing IVF in the carribean is you get a vacation too!

They just have you do some satellite care from your home state/province before your IVF Mexico trip such as blood work and ultrasounds and you forward your results to the doctors in Mexico, help determine your treatment and your dates.
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