5 replies to this topic

[wannabeamama]

Caution ~SPOILERS~

 

Did anyone watch "This is Us" last night on CTV/ABC?  They explored Kate having a miscarriage in the first trimester and I think they did a pretty good job expressing the emotions involved and even covering the male perspective.  I am not one to cry over TV/movies but I came close haha!

[writegal416]

I read a This is Us board and some of the women on the board were a little upset at it - not because of their personal experiences, but because the miscarriage itself seemed...fake and too "television." The emotional part was there, but the rest was too...cliché.  Not much about blood or anything in that area.  Or that it was taking time for the loss to end.  

 

I don't feel like I can comment much more about this because the only "experience" I've had was a chemical through my surrogate.  It's a loss, yes, but because we didn't reach the u/s stage, I don't feel comfortable saying it was a "real" loss.  

What I WOULD like to see about Kate and Toby's storyline is the difficulty it could be for "older" women (and Kate is "older" at 37) to get pregnant.  I can't tell you how many women - well-educated women, at that - who don't realize that they, too are "old."

[quandry]

I read a This is Us board and some of the women on the board were a little upset at it - not because of their personal experiences, but because the miscarriage itself seemed...fake and too "television." The emotional part was there, but the rest was too...cliché.  Not much about blood or anything in that area.  Or that it was taking time for the loss to end.  
 
I don't feel like I can comment much more about this because the only "experience" I've had was a chemical through my surrogate.  It's a loss, yes, but because we didn't reach the u/s stage, I don't feel comfortable saying it was a "real" loss.  

What I WOULD like to see about Kate and Toby's storyline is the difficulty it could be for "older" women (and Kate is "older" at 37) to get pregnant.  I can't tell you how many women - well-educated women, at that - who don't realize that they, too are "old."

I haven't seen the episode yet so I can't comment on that. But I did want to say - a loss is a loss is a loss. Please don't negate your feelings by saying it was an early loss, or your surrogates. It's still a loss and it still leaves scars on your heart!

Research says that an early loss is processed the same way as a later one, and even a stillbirth or that of a young baby. Your grief is real. It is not imagined! And while outside this forum you may feel a need to minimize it, please don't feel that you ever EVER need to do that here!

Hugs honey!

[writegal416]

 

I read a This is Us board and some of the women on the board were a little upset at it - not because of their personal experiences, but because the miscarriage itself seemed...fake and too "television." The emotional part was there, but the rest was too...cliché.  Not much about blood or anything in that area.  Or that it was taking time for the loss to end.  
 
I don't feel like I can comment much more about this because the only "experience" I've had was a chemical through my surrogate.  It's a loss, yes, but because we didn't reach the u/s stage, I don't feel comfortable saying it was a "real" loss.  

What I WOULD like to see about Kate and Toby's storyline is the difficulty it could be for "older" women (and Kate is "older" at 37) to get pregnant.  I can't tell you how many women - well-educated women, at that - who don't realize that they, too are "old."

I haven't seen the episode yet so I can't comment on that. But I did want to say - a loss is a loss is a loss. Please don't negate your feelings by saying it was an early loss, or your surrogates. It's still a loss and it still leaves scars on your heart!

Research says that an early loss is processed the same way as a later one, and even a stillbirth or that of a young baby. Your grief is real. It is not imagined! And while outside this forum you may feel a need to minimize it, please don't feel that you ever EVER need to do that here!

Hugs honey!

 

 

 

Thanks.  I get it, but the thing is, I don't feel anything.  And I wonder if I should feel guilty about not really feeling anything.  It was our first embryo in a set of four.  The second was BFN.  I suppose I'll feel something if one or both of the embryos in our next transfer don't work.

[quandry]

Whatever you feel is what you feel. No need or reason to explain it or justify it. Whether you feel a lot or a little. That is ok. If you're concerned, you could see a therapist and discuss what's going on... but regardless... you have no need to explain to anyone.

[wannabeamama]

Agreed, a loss is still a loss.

 

I have to say I do agree with what you said was posted on another board, there was no blood and I think that could have made it a bit more relatable.  Alternatively,  if they weren't going to show blood they could have showed it as a missed miscarriage where the baby simply stopped developing and they could see that on the ultrasound.  Instead she just kind of called from the bathroom... 

 

The emotions expressed were not something you always see represented on TV though and I liked that about it.

I would like to see Kate and Toby also portray a struggle to get pregnant too!