5 replies to this topic

I am looking everyday,trying to find somebody who can help us with egg donation. We went through all of the tests,the counselling,ultrasounds,everything. We flew our egg donor to B.C., we flew to B.C. , we hoped and prayed to have a date set for IVF and then we were told our donor needs to lose 40 pounds before we can have IVF.
Our hearts broke. We were so close to having our dream come true. Five years we have tried and just want that little part of us. I don't know what to do,where to turn. I don't know who can help us and I'm praying that somebody will read this and know of somebody who can donate eggs so we can have IVF.
If we don't find somebody within the next few months, we'd need to go through all the testing,counselling,etc. all over again. Please, if anybody knows of anybody who can help us, please email me. We're in Alberta but are dealing with the B.C. clinic.

Have you asked your clinic if they have anyone else currently cycling right now that may be interested in a shared cycle? It would likely be another couple cycling for themselves, but sharing the cycle would help reduce the expenses of both couples and would help you in your search of donor eggs.

It is something worth looking in to.

Have you asked your clinic if they have anyone else currently cycling right now that may be interested in a shared cycle? It would likely be another couple cycling for themselves, but sharing the cycle would help reduce the expenses of both couples and would help you in your search of donor eggs.

It is something worth looking in to.

I have just sent them an email and asked if they knew of anybody attending their clinic who might be able to share a cycle with us but I'm sure ,due to confidentiality they will say no. I don't know, I feel so lost. We had gone so far, had the egg donor and did everything they asked of us. For the sake of 40 pounds they will not do the egg retrieval. I have even asked if they could keep the donor awake for the retrieval,which I know people have said can be done. I'm waiting on a reply. Where do I find a donor? I'm heart broken.

I'm finding a pattern of infertile women (and I was one, I know it can happen too) who get a little obsessive about things. PLease try and understand the health risks to your donor. Soon after someone says yes, they immediately become a commodity to the recipients and less of a human being. That is what I'm currently going through as a donor - being rushed, told to lie to therapist etc. etc... Adding anxiety to your donor's life will not only delay your procedure, but will certainly not improve the chances of success in the process. I wish you great good luck in your search for a donor, when you find one (and I believe you will!!) please remember she is as much a part of this process as you are and her health is just as important.
PS:
Are you allowed to visit the states for this??

I'm finding a pattern of infertile women (and I was one, I know it can happen too) who get a little obsessive about things. PLease try and understand the health risks to your donor. Soon after someone says yes, they immediately become a commodity to the recipients and less of a human being. That is what I'm currently going through as a donor - being rushed, told to lie to therapist etc. etc... Adding anxiety to your donor's life will not only delay your procedure, but will certainly not improve the chances of success in the process. I wish you great good luck in your search for a donor, when you find one (and I believe you will!!) please remember she is as much a part of this process as you are and her health is just as important.
PS:
Are you allowed to visit the states for this??

Sorry but I never once thought of our egg donor as a "commodity". She has been a friend for years and she still is. I do understand the risks to her. It's strange how I am a little over weight also and I'd be the one becoming pregnant but it was never mentioned for me to lose weight.
I also believe in my heart that I will find a healthy egg donor but each day that goes by it gets harder. That seems to be the most difficult part of the IVF and when we finally have a dear FRIEND offer to be a donor ,that's what happens , but I believe in God, I remain hopeful and faithful and soon, I pray, an egg donor will come into our lives

[4leggedbaby]

I'm finding a pattern of infertile women (and I was one, I know it can happen too) who get a little obsessive about things. PLease try and understand the health risks to your donor. Soon after someone says yes, they immediately become a commodity to the recipients and less of a human being. That is what I'm currently going through as a donor - being rushed, told to lie to therapist etc. etc... Adding anxiety to your donor's life will not only delay your procedure, but will certainly not improve the chances of success in the process. I wish you great good luck in your search for a donor, when you find one (and I believe you will!!) please remember she is as much a part of this process as you are and her health is just as important.
PS:
Are you allowed to visit the states for this??

Sorry but I never once thought of our egg donor as a "commodity". She has been a friend for years and she still is. I do understand the risks to her. It's strange how I am a little over weight also and I'd be the one becoming pregnant but it was never mentioned for me to lose weight.
I also believe in my heart that I will find a healthy egg donor but each day that goes by it gets harder. That seems to be the most difficult part of the IVF and when we finally have a dear FRIEND offer to be a donor ,that's what happens , but I believe in God, I remain hopeful and faithful and soon, I pray, an egg donor will come into our lives

Its been suggested by PCRM that we may have to consider egg donation. Though its not something we are looking at in the immediate future it is something that we are open to do and will consider if its the most logical path to completing our family.

That being said, when we were given the informaton from PCRM we were told that a donor would be set up through Seattle and the proceedure would be done there. I'm not sure if you've begun looking at possibly sharing a cycle with someone in the US but (I'm sure you know) its illegal here in Canada to pay someone to act as egg donor so unless you go to the states, I'm guessing you'd be hard pressed to find someone here in Canada, who's managed to find a 'free' egg donor who is willing to: a) donate their eggs to a complete stranger or b ) lower their odds in half just to save $5,000 - $6,000. Not impossible, but I think difficult. If we ever decide to do egg donor we will not be using a siblings eggs (even though its been offered) for a number of reasons. If we had, I know my sister would be giving this gift freely to us out of love and would probably not feel the same towards a stranger.

Our decision to head south of the boarder changes things. The donor is a universal donor (ie, they are mostly doing it for financial reasons not so much for emotional reasons) and thus often they don't choose the recipient. Much less personal than having a sibling or a friend do it for you out of love. Thus sharing a cycle through a US donor isn't such a personal decision or afront to the one providing her eggs.

Also, it needs to be taken into account, since you can and do pay the donor in the states, that the cost of a egg donor cycle is much higher than that of one in Canada (since you don't pay the donor). Thus you would be looking in excess of $20,000 (instead of ~$10 - $12k). I think there would be more people looking for someone to split that cost more readily then someone splitting a much lower cost here in Canada.

Another thing to consider (since I have entertained the concept of doing a shared donor cycle but certainly haven't done any real research on it) is if you are going to spit a cycle with someone make sure you use a PROVEN donor. One who produces a good healthy number of eggs. The last thing you want to do is split the cost of a unknown donor, be out of pocket $10 grand only to find out there's only 4 good eggs for each party (I'd be better off using my own crappy eggs)

We were told that a donor could provide up to 15 healthy blasts...we certainly don't need that many so in fact if that's an achievalbe number from a proven donor (and you will pay more for a proven donor) its worth it in the end...even splitting a cycle and having 7-8 healthy embryos is so much worth the extra cost with a proven donor.

Again, I think egg donor is much more common in the US due to it being much more widely beneficial for the actual donors. You'll probably be more successful looking for someone from the US for splitting a cycle.

I hope some of my jabbering helps

Edited by 4leggedbaby, 17 May 2008 - 01:43 PM.