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#1 Lionttc#1

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Posted 13 June 2017 - 09:02 PM

Has anyone gone for counseling ? I'm considering going to talk to someone to help me cope. What was your experience of speaking to a therapist ?

#2 kayte1

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Posted 13 June 2017 - 09:21 PM

Such a fabulous, healthy and caring thing to do for yourself :) Highly recommended.

I have seen two. One was a fertility-specific counsellor who worked at one of the clinics we went to. She was great, and it was so nice having someone who knew more about everything than me. A time-saver, someone who spoke my language, and schooled in everything infertility. She was really great. Many clinics do have an in-house counsellor that can be booked, or a recommended counsellor's practice that you can be referred to.

I also spoke to someone who was local, in my hometown. She was also good, but better able to speak to all aspects of my life and managing them in the face of infertility. I sought out more regular and local help as I was struggling to have support in my workplace pursuing treatment and we don't have strong family support, so it was extremely overwhelming and disappointing situation. The infertility person takes the cake as she was good at this too, plus the other stuff I mentioned above.

I have known people that sought out someone to talk to, didn't connect with them or like them, so gave up on the idea. I think the idea of shopping for a counsellor (giving someone a try, but passing and trying someone new to find a good fit) is important if you are dedicated to the idea of seeking support. Which I think is an awesome idea in this isolating experience where your health is so important!

Good luck! Take care of yourself - you deserve it!!

#3 Ola1981

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Posted 13 June 2017 - 10:21 PM

After we lost our first pregnancy I struggled with how long it took me to get over it. It was a chemical pregnancy but I had never even heard of that before. I was pregnant one day and 3 days later they told me it wouldn't be successful after all. After almost a year I went to a counselor. I only did one session but he really helped to validate my feelings and helped to put things in perspective. If you feel you are struggling, then I would say go for It!
See about me for details of our journey to become parents to 2 beautiful children

#4 hopefuldadsomeday

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Posted 14 June 2017 - 12:57 AM

I highly recommend going for counselling, It was super helpful for us after our second miscarriage.  We learned so much from our counsellor (from coping strategies to communication techniques).  It was particularly important for us, as my wife and I had different ways of coping with the loss, which we misinterpreted.  (For example, I internalized all my anger/sadness from the loss, which she interpreted as not caring).  Like Ola1981 mentions, it really felt light a giant weight off our shoulders having someone validating our feelings.  After seeing the counsellor, we were able to "recover" from our third miscarriage much more quickly.  I hope that it helps you as well!

March 2016 - Miscarriage #1 (chemical pregnancy)

August 2016 -  Miscarriage #2 (Trisomy-16)

December 2016 - Miscarriage #3 (unknown - suspected chromosomal abnormality)

IVF #1 - Aug 2017 (estrogen priming antagonist protocol) - 9 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 blastocysts, only 1 PGS normal embryo 5BB mitoscore 25.1 (frozen)

IVF #2 - Nov 2017 (estrogen priming antagonist protocol - with testosterone priming and growth hormone) - 7 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized with ICSI, 1 blastocyst PGS-normal 5BB mitoscore 33.12 (frozen)

IVF #3 - Jan 2018 (estrogen priming antagonist protocol with growth hormone) -  4 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 1 blastocyst PGS-normal 6BB mitoscore 29.82 (frozen)

FET #1 - March 2018 - cancelled due to thin lining (6.25mm)

FET #1.2 - April 2018 - cancelled due to thin lining again! (4.85mm)

FET #1.3 - June 4, 2018 (lining 7.5mm!) - th_abfn.gif

ERA Aug 2018 - Pre-receptive by 1 day

FET #2 - Sep 18, 2018 (lining 6.9mm) th_abfp.gif  Beta #1: Sep 30, 2018 - 682  Beta #2: Oct 6,2018 - 6656 U/S: Oct 15 - measuring 6w4d (CRL 6.87mm), HR 127bpm! U/S: Oct 25 - measuring 8w1d (CRL 16.69mm), HR 168bpm!  Discharged to midwives!  June 7, 2019: It's a girl!  DD born 7lb 2oz babygirl.gif

FET #3 - Oct 4, 2021 (lining 8.8mm!)  th_abfp.gif  Beta #1: Oct 14, 2021: 415, Beta #2: Oct 21, 2021: 4778 U/S: Nov 1, 2021 - measuring 6w4d, CRL 6.6mm, HR 133bm! U/S: Nov 15, 2021 - measuring 8w6d (CRL: 22.3mm), HR 182bpm!  Discharged to midwives!

#5 Aiglee

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Posted 14 June 2017 - 08:28 AM

I used to go to my infertility counselor once or more a week during treatment. It was so great and so helpful I still go every so often just to unload myself. They can give you such a different perspective, or like everyone has said validate your feelings, or even just someone that listens to you without making you feel like you are boring them or scared of them saying something hurtful. Totally worth it!


Whenever I felt we were spending too much money in counselling, I would tell my husband I was thinking of not going and he would say "we can't afford not to go", that's how much good she was doing.

TTC since 2012 (plus 2 years around 2008/2010). I'm 37 years old, husband is 28. 
Karma: Unexplained. 3 Failed IUIs with injectables in 2014. IVF #1: 5 day embryo transferred, 1 frozen. BFN. FET #1: 1 6 day embryo 2AB. BFN

One Fertility: DOR. AMH of 5.8 (Canadian). IVF #2: 2 eggs fertilized (ICSI), transferred 2 day 3 embryos. BFN


Adoption with CAS: Adopted a baby boy! Home since November 6th, 2016, adoption finalized June 26th, 2017.