Hi, I have been there and decided to stop. I did my last fertility treatment in 2015. I just couldn't do it anymore. I was a wreck physically and emotionally. As much as it pained me to stop, whenever I thought of trying again I would break. I would cry uncontrollably, and be too scared to continue. Whenever a cycle failed, I would be so devastated that I would have out-of-nowhere nose bleeds, which scared me that it was affecting my blood pressure. I just couldn't do it anymore.
It wasn't an easy decision, but it was the best decision I could have done at the time. I took time to grieve, I went to therapy, I talked to other people that did not have kids (single, divorced, infertility, it didn't matter, I just needed someone that would understand maybe not ever having kids), and signed up for a 9 months trainer at the gym to get my body back.
Slowly but surely I started to feel better. I just concentrated on other aspects of my life. I am not a baby machine, I have hobbies, family, and friends. I bought a new house, I started a new hobby (woodworking) and started moving towards adoption.
Adoption is not for everyone, one of my friends had already already decided with her partner they would not go that route if they couldn't get pregnant and that is also ok. It is hard to accept, but sometimes we close ourselves too much to what is "supposed to happen" or to the dream we all have/had of making that little miracle.
It is ok to stop. You are not alone. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more.
TTC since 2012 (plus 2 years around 2008/2010). I'm 37 years old, husband is 28.
Karma: Unexplained. 3 Failed IUIs with injectables in 2014. IVF #1: 5 day embryo transferred, 1 frozen. BFN. FET #1: 1 6 day embryo 2AB. BFN
One Fertility: DOR. AMH of 5.8 (Canadian). IVF #2: 2 eggs fertilized (ICSI), transferred 2 day 3 embryos. BFN
Adoption with CAS: Adopted a baby boy! Home since November 6th, 2016, adoption finalized June 26th, 2017.