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papoose76's Blog


Last blog entry :(

Posted by papoose76 , 31 January 2013 · 4671 views

My marriage has fallen apart. Over the past year, battling depression and anxiety, my husband figured he couldn't handle it anymore. It turns out he was cheating the whole time we were together with multiple women. When he left me, he moved in with one of the women he was cheating on me with. I am now declaring bankruptcy because I can't maintain all the...


5 days until beta...

Posted by papoose76 , 31 March 2012 · 2099 views

Today I am 8dp3dt from FET #1, after two failed ivf cycles (well the second ivf worked but we lost the pregnancy early). We transferred 3 frosties on Friday, March 23. It was fairly painless although the nurse holding the u/s wand over my stomach either wasn't paying attention or couldn't get a good angle but the RE missed the white bubble they lo...


The whole world is pregnant...

Posted by papoose76 , 15 February 2012 · 2273 views

... or at least that's how it feels. There are only a handful of people who I am truly happy for, and the rest can suck it. I'm sorry but it's just so hard to deal with right now.  Over this past week, I've seen posts on facebook about their newborns such as "Dammit I wanted a girl" or "sh*t I'm knocked up again"... htt...


Thinking of being "done"

Posted by papoose76 , 23 November 2011 · 1447 views

I've been very moody lately and of course everything seems to be revolving around TTC. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I'm getting sick of it, and I'm getting sick of having hope year after year. Nothing seems to work out for me and I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, I'm stating facts. I'm actually quite content with taking time before m...


Empty bank account, empty belly, empty heart...

Posted by papoose76 , 09 November 2011 · 2676 views

I feel so broken. Why do I keep doing this to myself? What if a baby is just "not in the cards" for us? For me? I have been ttc my first for 11 years off and on, not counting the ex boyfriend I tried with... I thought this was my "finally"... After last year's ivf cycle went so crappy and left me with no frosties, I decided that this w...


Worry worry worry!!! Should be my middle name!!

Posted by papoose76 , 06 November 2011 · 1547 views

My first beta was 112 (on 12dp3dt) on November 3rd. I'm getting positive HPT's... I have been spotting here and there. Someone said to me earlier that the worrying will never stop. LOL I figured once I got a BFP, I would stop having worries.  Yes, I was naive!!! I had my second beta yesterday and I won't get the results until tomor...



Posted by papoose76 , 01 November 2011 · 6607 views

So, if you've been following me, you will know that I have tested early (at 8dp3dt) and got a very faint positive. I got positives every day since then. LOL you would think that would put my mind at rest? Nope. Yesterday morning when I put in my morning dose of endometrin (I'm switching to prometrium once I'm all out of endometrin), I pulled o...


Ready to burst. Literally.

Posted by papoose76 , 18 October 2011 · 1010 views

I have put myself on bedrest. I feel sick. I can't eat without feeling like puking. My stomach is stretched to the max so bad that I have a couple new stretchmarks!! My skin sucks. I have lost and gained so much weight over the years that even though I've never had children, my stomach looks like I have. Not attractive. Anyway, last night at 11:30...


Here we go again!

Posted by papoose76 , 07 October 2011 · 1146 views

Some of you may remember me from last year. Some of you have cycled with me, and have gone on to have your babies, some of you have left ivf.ca, some of you are in my shoes, some of you may not be. My name is Nona, I'm 35 years old and going through primary infertility. I did my first round of ivf last October. We retrieved only 3 eggs, and of those 3, tw...


While time flies...

Posted by papoose76 , 15 September 2011 · 814 views

I am so thankful that the time is flying. I am so happy to be teaching a grade suited to me (grade 3). My days are hectic and super busy and I love it!! It is making the wait (for ivf #2) much more bearable. Honestly, I feel like there are not enough hours in the day lately. I really hope that this does NOT have a negative effect on my second IVF....

My reproductive history (or lack thereof)

From age 13 to 18 I had one boyfriend who it turned out was unfaithful to me. We never used condoms because I trusted him and I was on birth control. He gave me an STD at age 17 (gonorrhea) and I had no symptoms, so I have no clue how long I had it before I had it treated.

From age 18 (yeah my relationships overlapped because I was "getting even" but fell in love with the guy I cheated with) to age 22 I was with a different guy. We lived together for 3 of those 4 years and ttc with no luck at all.

Age 23 to age 30 I was with my ex-husband. I started seeing my fertility specialist in 2004 (age 28). HSG showed clear tubes. Lap- 2 fibroids removed, some lysis of adhesions. 3 Clomid cycles all BFN. Another HSG showed clear tubes a year later, and another lap after that showed nothing major (exploratory). More clomid cycles, more bfn's. He never wanted to do ART, he called it "playing God". Then he cheated on me and I had to kick the bastard to the curb.

Age 32 (2008) to present, I have been with my second husband. We instantly fell in love and after a couple months of dating, moved in together and started ttc. We "just knew". We started seeing my same fertility specialist and had an HSG which showed one partially blocked tube (non-mechanical blockage). May 2009 I found out I was pregnant!! Very unexpected but very much wanted. Ultrasound at 6 weeks 6 days showed nothing in uterus, pregnancy was ectopic. It was removed at 7 weeks pregnant. Worst emotional pain ever sad.gif HSG 3 months later showed one fully blocked tube, one open. We registered in the IVF program in January 2010, and are just now in the process.

IVF #1
Suprefact: Sept 27-Oct 17
Puregon: Oct 8- Oct 17
ER: Oct 20
ET: 23: 3 eggs retrieved, all intact, 2 fertilized and made it to transfer!
Beta: November 4/10 moved up to Nov.2/10 because I started bleeding heavily and tested negative on a FRER. I am beyond devastated... Beta was less than 1.2 BFN

I am back on the waiting list at my clinic to do another IVF cycle. The wait is 8-9 months, so I won't be cycling until either July or August 2011. In the meantime, I will be trying naturally and giving "Benedryl therapy" a try in case I have implantation issues. Can't hurt.

HSG done March 15/11- Both tubes were clear. Appointment on April 6th, new b/w, pap, and Rx for Femara for May and June cycles.

IVF #2
July 25- first u/s and b/w. Cyst on right ovary & estrogen level high. Injections delayed.
July 28- second u/s and b/w; no change... cycle cancelled th_aggahhh.gif
July 31- October 1st I will be on BCP.
Oct 3- first u/s and E2 b/w- fingers crossed that the cyst will be gone...
Cyst is gone! Started microdose Suprefact (20 units) on October 4th twice a day, and Bravelle (150 iu) & Menopur (75 iu) on October 6th twice a day.
First monitoring appointment on October 12th!! Fingers still crossed!
ER, October 19th: 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized!!
ET, October 22nd: 2 embryos transferred (one was 8 celled, the other a morula)
BFP on early pregnancy test (10miu) on 8dp3dt
Beta: November 3rd!!! Fingers crossed!!! 112!!!!! yahoo.gif
Beta #2: November 5th- 133 sad.png
Beta #3: November 9th- 31... cry.gif Another angel baby in Heaven...

HSG; December/2011- Right tube blocked (hydrosalpinx) at the end where the ovary is. Left tube clear.

FET #1- transferred 3 embryos on March 23rd
BFN on FRER (April 4th)
Beta: April 5th- negative


December, 2012- Husband left me for another woman. TTC has ended for me.cry.gif


Me: 36 years young
Him: 36 years young wink.gif
Step-son: 14
Step-daughter: 12
2 cats: Sprinkles & Leonardo

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