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Trying to get back to normal.

Posted by Myrtle , 12 November 2012 · 1161 views

bfn ivf unexplained infertility secondary infertility marriage husband relationship feelings
I am trying to go on now. I spent so much energy during the IVF trying not to think about things and staying busy, and I still have those things now, but my mind is just not into it. I am having so much trouble concentrating and focusing and it is really bothering me.

I feel very distracted, though not really by anything concrete. I find myself getting angry and being annoyed by things very easily. I recognize that this happened last time and it was no picnic. I need to make sure I am tolerable to be around because my husband and I really need each other right now. He was such a rock during our first IVF but he is ready to throw in the towel now. He doesn't want me on hormones again. He called our sex life abysmal.

For the first time in my life, I am having an issue with my sex life. I am glad at least we have a good reason for not having sex for so long, but it still doesn't fix it.

I'm learning this programming language Java- taking a class in it- and I had perfect scores on the first 4 homeworks then I just fell apart - the week of my beta. I couldn't finish one on time, and now I am trying to catch up and my brain just won't focus like I want it to. It is just so frustrating to me. I feel like I have a hard time reading things, and my mind just wants to wander.

Although, I seem to have an amazing amount of focus for reading things that are fertility, infertility, ivf, ttc related. So....I wish I could just refocus my brain, because thinking about wanting a baby is not making it happen or helping me in any way.




Your last paragraph is me. I just can't focus on anything else but I want to stop because I know it isn't helping. Sending you strength.

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