Four years later after IVF DID NOT WORK
The reason I am here is because I am cleaning up. I'm ready to throw out all my IVF needles and half used up bottles of medication. I'm ready to move on. We did three IVF cycles and I none of them took. We never knew why. I'm 46 years old now and there's very little chance of us conceiving on our own now. We still might adopt another child.
We had secondary infertility so the whole time we did IVF I already had one child. I am so grateful for my one child. I still get annoyed with people complaining about all the work their many children are. Maybe it's because I am older, but noone seems to say to me, "Are you going to have another?" anymore. I was able to tell a new friend about my IVFs without really feeling too upset about it.
I would definitely say it was heartbreaking to accept the infertility and grieve the children we would never have, but I do feel okay with it now. I do feel like we can move on from this as a couple and as a family. I thought I would never be able to be happy without another child, but I realize now, that I needed to accept what is, in order to be happy. I had to give it time and allow myself to be angry about it and know it ISN'T FAIR.
It got a lot better the second year after the IVFs were over. Now, four years later, I find myself actually thinking about the things I CAN do because I don't have a little baby at home. It's not really a consolation prize and me just saying things to try and make myself feel better for what I don't have. What it is, is just acknowledging this is my life path right now and it is an okay one. I can be happy with this life and it isn't that bad actually.
- gibasgirl, s00n, Yearning and 8 others like this