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Four years later after IVF DID NOT WORK

Posted by Myrtle , 14 February 2018 · 5578 views

The reason I am here is because I am cleaning up.  I'm ready to throw out all my IVF needles and half used up bottles of medication.  I'm ready to move on.  We did three IVF cycles and I none of them took.  We never knew why.  I'm 46 years old now and there's very little chance of us conceiving on our own now.  We still might adopt another child.
We had secondary infertility so the whole time we did IVF I already had one child.  I am so grateful for my one child.  I still get annoyed with people complaining about all the work their many children are.  Maybe it's because I am older, but noone seems to say to me, "Are you going to have another?"  anymore.  I was able to tell a new friend about my IVFs without really feeling too upset about it.
I would definitely say it was heartbreaking to accept the infertility and grieve the children we would never have, but I do feel okay with it now.  I do feel like we can move on from this as a couple and as a family.  I thought I would never be able to be happy without another child, but I realize now, that I needed to accept what is, in order to be happy.  I had to give  it time and allow myself to be angry about it and know it ISN'T FAIR.  
It got a lot better the second year after the IVFs were over.  Now, four years later, I find myself actually thinking about the things I CAN do because I don't have a little baby at home.  It's not really a consolation prize and me just saying things to try and make myself feel better for what I don't have. What it is, is just acknowledging this is my life path right now and it is an okay one.  I can be happy with this life and it isn't that bad actually.  

  • gibasgirl, s00n, Yearning and 8 others like this

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of strength and then wisdom to get your life back and look at other things we can do. I did 2 IVF cycles and then I stopped due to other health issues. Now I am also OK and enjoying being the sweet auntie or "soul mother"


    • gibasgirl, Yearning, Myrtle and 1 other like this
amazing grace
Feb 18 2018 10:29 AM


I am glad you are content with life. I too have been at this for six years. I have had many heartbreaks over the six year. I thought I was done, UNTIL God opened another door for me. I am currently pursuing another chance at IVF but still am very unsure. For me, I just felt that I was not done but to be honest I can't take anymore pain and hope that God opened this door for a reason. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endevours.

    • gibasgirl and Baby girl like this
Hi I hear you all. It is not easy deciding that we may need help. My first pack of 7 letrozole pills I had to take that cost me $70 at the clinic. I still remember throwing the package down and saying I can't believe I have to do this. Then the Iui's began...I can't believe we need this help. I started at 33 being told oh you probably only need some pills to conceive. Oh and btw you are going into early menopause. I have been through a lot. It is not easy to give up. We finally had our baby girl at 39. I finally conceived with a donor egg but I wouldn't change it for the world. Everyone has a path a destiny and this was mine. I have learned a lot on my journey good and bad. Amazing grace- you need to watch "One more Shot" on Netflix. It is many of us on here. I cried but I was happy that I was not the only one. I am glad we live in Canada and that treatments are more affordable for us. Touch base and let me know how your door is working out. My door was opened too with a beautiful donation of an egg. My world has never been so great. I mourned the loss of a bio child and I am happy I did that so my child can be here. Good luck with your journeys!

Thanks for your story. Other people take things for granted but I am glad you are content with the outcome now.

Drops of Love
Jan 12 2019 07:13 AM

Thank you for your story and others who have added to it.

Makes me want to cry of all the pain we have to take on on our infertility journey, and most of which others in our lives will never know.


Thank you Baby girl, I am going to look for One More Shot on Netflix.

Dear author, I've had seven attempts! SEVEN! And yet it didn't work out. In the clinic, where I was treated, the doctors raised their hands! The last chance to have a biological child for me was surrogacy. We chose a clinic in countries where it is legal, and found a good clinic in Ukraine - Feskov Human Reproduction Group . There we were helped to choose a surrogate mother, and thanks to them our long-awaited child was born! Think about surrogacy and do not give up! 

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