I've accepted he may be my one and only. Turning 30.
Today - well tomorrow really... I'm only a few hours off... I turn 30!
I haven't been on here in months, mainly because (tho cycling has been on my mind daily) we haven't actively been cycling or really trying. Coming back on here I decided to reread my old posts. Reading them made me tear up, the person I was 4 years ago, 3 years ago and even 2 years ago... I was in such a fragile state, felt like the world was against me and becoming a mother was a far off dream.
Tho I know that girl is still very much a part of who I am, its not the person I am defined by today. I have my days when I look at my miracle of a son and thank god I have him, and there are days when I look at him and feel like I've failed him as a mother (tho those days aren't many, they still happen). Turning 30 in a few hours and tho I'm not anywhere near where I'd dreamed I'd be at this age, I'm still amazed at what I've accomplished. That little toddler looks to me everyday with such hope and such light in his eyes, I know I've done something right.
I never thought I'd be okay with having just one child and I truly hope I will have the chance to cycle again but if thats not in the cards, I think I've finally realized that I can accept him as my one and only.
Heres to 30.
- Ola1981 and MoD like this