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Our journey is not the typical journey of infertility that you will find on Google, and that is because our story begins with the fight for survival of life, not just the wish for life.
As far as we are concerned this story does end with a happy ending because while it may have been a childhood disease; the 1970’s was no time to fight a very serious Cancer. No matter what the outcome of our fertility journey is, we constantly remind ourselves that we are lucky because Brian is alive.
The fact that we are able to spend our most important moments together is an amazing feat, for Brian has survived Leukemia twice. That alone is worth celebrating!
Due to his childhood illness Brian has been subjected to chemotherapy, radiation, and a variety of experimental drugs, and while they may have caused adverse effects as an adult, they also saved his life as a child, and for that we are truly grateful because it allowed us to find each other.
It is because I met Brian that I have found my true self. Brian is the reason that I am what I have become: a Doctor of Educational Technology. It was only with his love, affection, and ultimate belief in me that I was even able to muster up the curiosity to look into what it would take for me to earn my Masters degree. If I would have not met Brian I would not have had the courage or the nerve to even fill out an application to begin the process of bettering myself.
Four years later, a Masters degree, a marriage certificate, and a Doctorate degree in process for me, and a promotion to Sales Manager of the family business for Brian meant that we were truly ready to start a family together.
And, so the process began.
Needless to say since the beginning of this post I have finished my Doctorate degree, and almost two years have passed since we began trying for our family.
We tried on our own for 16 months where we really had no success. There was a slight chance in February of 2009 when my period completely disappeared for two and a half months (which has never happened before or after), and I had to take progesterone in order to have my cycle restart. After the two blood tests that we thought had revealed the oasis just out of reach; nothing happened.
Months went by with no success. Brian trying to do everything in his power, called his primary care physician to improve his ability to perform (despite the fact that he was already doing everything he possibly could) we tried what the doctor prescribed with no change.
Not letting this stop our efforts we decided together that we may need extra help. After jumping through KP’s hoops, tests, procedures, and time frames; they finally agreed that outside intervention may be needed, and we were referred to the Reproductive Endocrinology Department.
It was at this point that we met Dr. F. and had our initial consultations, blood work, semen analysis, and our first true glimmer of hope for a family. For, with results that were far better than we had originally had even thought were possible (a perfectly normal HSG and just a bit below average sperm count after having Leukemia twice we were just excited about having swimmers at ALL,) we thought we were on the road to success.
The IUI’s began.
After finding out the great news that we had swimmers I did all the research I possibly could to try to improve Brian’s count, and my body’s willingness to accept the so hoped for foreign body. And, after the research I thought I had found a perfect combination of vitamins, minerals, and supplements I put both Brian and I on new regimens of all of the above, and fruits and veggies. I awaited my period so I could finally go fill my prescription for Clomid. I began my first Clomid cycle on day 5-9 with an ultrasound on day 13 where they found two and the Dr. said, “Wow, you have two beautiful follicles, perfect for IUI, they are both over 22, that is good baby making material!” And, two days later Brian and I went in for insemination with his sample that turned out to be 6 million above his previous count (the vitamins seemed to be working!)
Our hopes were high, probably too high.
And yet, nothing…
With our vitamins, supplements, minerals, and baby making calendar under such scrutiny we only had higher hopes for IUI #2. In fact Brian had lost 35 pounds, and I was down 20, and with all the efforts of trying to get pregnant we have never looked better. Brian’s family had bought him a subscription to N-system for the past couple of months which he had strictly been following, and I had been eating S-Ones from the box as well. We thought all of this was to our benefit of trying to conceive as we thought that extra weight was a negative factor on trying to conceive, but in fact the diet proved to be inconsequential, as well as the vitamins combined with it as Brian’s count dropped from 16 million down to 40,000. His count never went back to our original count to this date.
We tried three IUI’s with counts post wash ranging from 4 million, 40,000, and 400,000. We were absolutely devastated after the IUI’s. And, while we were in a complete an utter devastation, friends of ours were getting BFP’s even though they weren’t even trying; adding to our disappointment of being unable to conceive. It was also at this point that Dr. F. decided that IUI probably wasn’t the best investment of our money, and that he recommended IVF.
We discontinued all vitamins and supplements and decided to take some time off.
After taking the summer off to figure out exactly what we wanted to do, and how in the heck we were going to afford the IVF process we, have found a way to afford the treatments (somewhat), and we realized that the desire for children outweighs the financial commitment, and the possibility for defeat. In today’s day in age who ever said having a child was cheap? We are willing to invest in the future of our family.
Tomorrow is our first consultation, and we are scared as shit, but we are going in with unlimited support from those we love, and the fact that we love each other more and more each day.
I love you lovebug, and I can’t wait to have a baby with you!
As far as we are concerned this story does end with a happy ending because while it may have been a childhood disease; the 1970’s was no time to fight a very serious Cancer. No matter what the outcome of our fertility journey is, we constantly remind ourselves that we are lucky because Brian is alive.
The fact that we are able to spend our most important moments together is an amazing feat, for Brian has survived Leukemia twice. That alone is worth celebrating!
Due to his childhood illness Brian has been subjected to chemotherapy, radiation, and a variety of experimental drugs, and while they may have caused adverse effects as an adult, they also saved his life as a child, and for that we are truly grateful because it allowed us to find each other.
It is because I met Brian that I have found my true self. Brian is the reason that I am what I have become: a Doctor of Educational Technology. It was only with his love, affection, and ultimate belief in me that I was even able to muster up the curiosity to look into what it would take for me to earn my Masters degree. If I would have not met Brian I would not have had the courage or the nerve to even fill out an application to begin the process of bettering myself.
Four years later, a Masters degree, a marriage certificate, and a Doctorate degree in process for me, and a promotion to Sales Manager of the family business for Brian meant that we were truly ready to start a family together.
And, so the process began.
Needless to say since the beginning of this post I have finished my Doctorate degree, and almost two years have passed since we began trying for our family.
We tried on our own for 16 months where we really had no success. There was a slight chance in February of 2009 when my period completely disappeared for two and a half months (which has never happened before or after), and I had to take progesterone in order to have my cycle restart. After the two blood tests that we thought had revealed the oasis just out of reach; nothing happened.
Months went by with no success. Brian trying to do everything in his power, called his primary care physician to improve his ability to perform (despite the fact that he was already doing everything he possibly could) we tried what the doctor prescribed with no change.
Not letting this stop our efforts we decided together that we may need extra help. After jumping through KP’s hoops, tests, procedures, and time frames; they finally agreed that outside intervention may be needed, and we were referred to the Reproductive Endocrinology Department.
It was at this point that we met Dr. F. and had our initial consultations, blood work, semen analysis, and our first true glimmer of hope for a family. For, with results that were far better than we had originally had even thought were possible (a perfectly normal HSG and just a bit below average sperm count after having Leukemia twice we were just excited about having swimmers at ALL,) we thought we were on the road to success.
The IUI’s began.
After finding out the great news that we had swimmers I did all the research I possibly could to try to improve Brian’s count, and my body’s willingness to accept the so hoped for foreign body. And, after the research I thought I had found a perfect combination of vitamins, minerals, and supplements I put both Brian and I on new regimens of all of the above, and fruits and veggies. I awaited my period so I could finally go fill my prescription for Clomid. I began my first Clomid cycle on day 5-9 with an ultrasound on day 13 where they found two and the Dr. said, “Wow, you have two beautiful follicles, perfect for IUI, they are both over 22, that is good baby making material!” And, two days later Brian and I went in for insemination with his sample that turned out to be 6 million above his previous count (the vitamins seemed to be working!)
Our hopes were high, probably too high.
And yet, nothing…
With our vitamins, supplements, minerals, and baby making calendar under such scrutiny we only had higher hopes for IUI #2. In fact Brian had lost 35 pounds, and I was down 20, and with all the efforts of trying to get pregnant we have never looked better. Brian’s family had bought him a subscription to N-system for the past couple of months which he had strictly been following, and I had been eating S-Ones from the box as well. We thought all of this was to our benefit of trying to conceive as we thought that extra weight was a negative factor on trying to conceive, but in fact the diet proved to be inconsequential, as well as the vitamins combined with it as Brian’s count dropped from 16 million down to 40,000. His count never went back to our original count to this date.
We tried three IUI’s with counts post wash ranging from 4 million, 40,000, and 400,000. We were absolutely devastated after the IUI’s. And, while we were in a complete an utter devastation, friends of ours were getting BFP’s even though they weren’t even trying; adding to our disappointment of being unable to conceive. It was also at this point that Dr. F. decided that IUI probably wasn’t the best investment of our money, and that he recommended IVF.
We discontinued all vitamins and supplements and decided to take some time off.
After taking the summer off to figure out exactly what we wanted to do, and how in the heck we were going to afford the IVF process we, have found a way to afford the treatments (somewhat), and we realized that the desire for children outweighs the financial commitment, and the possibility for defeat. In today’s day in age who ever said having a child was cheap? We are willing to invest in the future of our family.
Tomorrow is our first consultation, and we are scared as shit, but we are going in with unlimited support from those we love, and the fact that we love each other more and more each day.
I love you lovebug, and I can’t wait to have a baby with you!
- Laura1976 likes this
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