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October why OH why...

Posted by hoping for two , 09 November 2011 · 865 views

Last month was the worst month of my life.
I was PG then I was losing it then there was a small chance of still being PG...it was torture. Then two of our bff's think it's a good idea to tell us that their pg at a party. Where do I start this one at? I guess bluntly....they don't get along, there not married,and were on the verge of a break up right before they found out.
We found out on Thursday that I was PG on Monday I was lossing it and on Saturday two people that probably won't be together for much longer are having a baby! It was a ruff week to say the least! A week later on sunday the 23rd I had to go to the ER. Well, we started at the after care clinic at my regular doctors office for severe abdomen pain. I hate ER's and was hoping they could tell what was going on because the pain felt like sever gas. When I got there they assested me left the room then came back in to tell me that they called an abmulance because my hemoglobin was at 5!!! I have never been so scared the things that were rushing through my head on the ride to the ER. We get to the ER they start assesing me right away now it's a 11.2 stupid nurse did something wrong at the doctors office. But the pain was getting worse. They gave me 4cc's of morphine and the pain only got worse 90 min later they had to give me 4cc's more. The nurse couldn't believe I was still alert with so much med. They did a lot of checking and the conclusion was the fluid in my abdomen from the miscarriage could be the only thing causing so much pain.We went home and I was fine. Wierd!
Two days later (Tuesaday) I had to go to the hospital for methotrexate. I felt ok till I was there sitting in the waiting room but I held it together till I was walking back to the room for the meds and the nurse ask how I was, not a mess but pretty broken up. I didn't want to do this again. She was amazing. But when she asked me " how was I doing" and she could hear in my voice, She them said " as if your faith is being tested" EXACTLY!
The nex day I found out one of my old bestfriends died. We have not been close in along time but we would talk every few months to catch up. Her wake was on Sunday, Nov. 30th I wrote a eulgy and chose the beautiful song "angel" by sarah McLachlan to be played as we all said good bye. Natalie was only 27 she had 2 young children 10 & 7.
I know I could make this post much longer but I have cried so much in the last month that I kept it as simple as I could.
As silly as it sounds I'm glad it's November....I'm just trying to move on.


P.S. once again thanks for listening




Big Hugs !!!!! I wish I could take your pain away.
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heres2hoping
Nov 09 2011 03:37 PM
I hope November is better for you! I agree, October was not a good month at all!!
Hang in there hoping for two!!
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ivfsurvivor
Nov 20 2011 05:29 PM
Well they say bad luck comes in threes, maybe you used all your bad luck up in October. (I'm not trying to make light of your situation, just an attempt to bring you some hope)

I wish you the best in what ever your life brings you.

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