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Right in the Middle

Posted by hoping for two , 19 January 2011 · 642 views

The panic is setting in!

I can't remember for the life of me what date my last period was to know what date it would be here if we're not pregnant. This all started this morning when I was walking down the stairs and noticed my breast are tender. This is always one of the first signs of AF. I keep reminding myself of how I figured out I was PG the first time (16yrs ago) all of AF symptoms came then left and she didn't show up. Then my crazy mind keeps saying "you don't feel PG, your probably not, don't even get excited" I'm driving myself crazy AGAIN!

Why...oh..why is the 2WW so brutal on us?!

I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up next Wednesday to take the blood test. If I was asleep for the next 6 days I couldn't drive myself crazy with the anxiety and stress of the 2WW. I'm trying to keep busy but the mind just keeps going.

lost my Mind, thanks for stoping by and listening...AGAIN!

The cruelest irony of course is that the progesterone supplements you have to take in the 2ww mimic pregnancy symptoms so well. There's a lot of money in it for the company that develops a quicker test! I know it's impossible, but try to distract yourself if possible.
    • papoose76 likes this
Jan 19 2011 08:54 AM
When I was cycling I found a pattern in the 2WW. Generally the first week I was high on hope and all things positive. Around day 6-7 post ovulation/trigger/surge I could feel an emotional change where I felt like I lost my marbles and all sense of good reason. Next doubt would come join us. My hope would be on life support. When I was successful Hope would regain it's power and courage over the course of a couple of days and I would return to cloud nine. When i wasn't successful - well doubt never really left and just seemed to gain momentum. As for traditional symptoms.... ya, never reliable for me.Good LuckD
Jan 19 2011 11:54 AM
What I found the worst is that every time I would tell myself I wouldn't hope this time, my body would come up with something new to do to make me wonder after all. I was ready for the sore boobs and the cramps and all that, but then it would suddenly make me feel dizzy, or I'd have a weird taste in my mouth, or my boobs would be even more sore than usual.And honestly, the times I was actually pregnant, I had so many less symptoms and it was so much easier to convince myself I wasn't those times than when I really wasn't. I'm not sure if I think that because every time I'd both be convinced I was and wasn't, and then when you know for sure it clouds your memories or something, but that's the way it seems to me.It would be so much easier if there was a test that could tell you sooner, so at least you could know you weren't and move on. That glimmer of hope every time, against all odds, is enough to make you crazy.
I tried to meditate everyday during the 2WW. I thought it would be good all round if my breathing and heart rate could return to normal, even if it was just for 10 minutes a day! The waiting is cruel and I really felt like I'd wasted my life when I got those BFN's! Perhaps try to achieve something?Good luck!
hoping for two
Jan 20 2011 12:47 AM
I woke up a hot mess this morning! This did not help, not only are my boobs very sore I'm emotional! As the day went on I started to feel better. I'm really trying to get myself to the point where I feel "it is what it is". But the hope is fighting really hard to stay. I really appreciate your comments knowing that I'm not the only one that is going through this maddness sooths my mind.

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