Stork Day -- The first Monday following the second Tuesday of never. - IVF.ca Forums

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Stork Day -- The first Monday following the second Tuesday of never.

Posted by BeanSprout , 05 October 2010 · 1068 views

As we near a holiday I usually quite enjoy, I'm finding myself distancing myself from our family. A little back story: six days after our BFN, we were given the wonderful (and yes I'm being serious here!) news that my husband's oldest sister was with child. Bad timing to find out but what do you do?! I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on and then caressed and put back in. I love her dearly and was so happy but on the other hand so jealous and sad. This happened this past August. For the most part, I haven't seen my SIL since then. Not because of the situation, it's just how it's turned out. We live in the same city...we just both happen to have very busy lives. Fast forward to the 21st of Sept for my FIL's birthday dinner. The entire family had gathered and it was a good time. Then the whispering about SIL's pregnancy started. All of the people at the dinner were aware of our previous failed attempt and SIL and I had a talk in August that I was fine with her pregnancy and would support her and needed no special treatment because of DH's and my issues with conceiving. Now where did this come from...I felt like a leper at the party. Needless to say we left early. Again, fast forward to this past Saturday. FIL and his wife are going to be heading down to Arizona for 3 months so decided to have Thanksgiving dinner early. Now, I consider myself quite an understanding person and try to put other's interests, feelings, needs, etc before my own. I know how excited the family is for the arrival of this baby. It is the first blood grandchild for both my FIL and MIL (my FIL has step-grandchildren). I WANT so badly for everyone to enjoy this baby but feel if I'm present, rather than talk about the obvious, they feel the need to talk quietly. I would rather stay home than listen to people whisper in the corner about SIL's pregnancy. DH and I had a long discussion and after much back and forth it was decided that I could skip dinner and he would attend for the both of us. My MIL is having her thanksgiving dinner this weekend and again I have opted out of dinner.

I am such a famil y and holiday person that this change of events has caused some sort of light switch to go off in my DH's head that I'm now opting out of all family holidays! HOLD-ON--I've skipped two dinners...for a good cause...people can openly discuss this exciting and wonderful thing happening in the family without wondering if they are causing irrepairable damage to my emotional state. I admit that I will have to, at some point, be with the family but for the time being...let them be happy....relish in the new beautiful baby growing in my SIL. My DH reluctantly agreed and then proceeded to ask me what I wanted for Christmas as my favorite holiday was nearing. Under normal circumstances, I would have had a small wish list for him of a few things he could choose from, this year I had one item on the list...a BABY. That got me thinking about the lists or lack there of I'd give the other family members and what holidays are like for people living the life of IF and this is what I came up with:

Christmas -- (my absolute favoite time of year) Santa can you bring me a baby this year? A beautiful embryo packaged in a bright gold box with a large red bow? Oh dear, you can only bring items the elves can make and the Elves are not licensed to make embryos. Well I guess you can't help me out on this one.

Valentine's Day -- Cupid, buddy, ol' pal, I know I can count on you. You brought me the most amazing husband...I'm hoping this year you have a sweet chubby little baby waiting for me to love. You don't specialize in babies....hmmm...that is a predicament. Do you have any idea whom I should call for said baby?

Easter -- Dear Easter Bunny, I have been patient over this past year and as you know I'm not a chocolate fan, I would therefore like to trade in my chocolate easter eggs for a viable embryo for implanation. Oh, you don't have an import license for said embryo.

St. Patrick's Day -- St. Patrick: I honour you every year and this year I ask a favor in return. Instead of green beer, I would like to order a tall glass of pregnancy. Oh, no babies on tap this year...well maybe next year.

Thanksgiving -- Mr. Gobbler, You are my last hope. I'm hoping that stuffed in you this year is not the stuffing I'm used to seeing but a pink-cheeked bundle of joy. Hmmm....I had no idea that when you get to the grocery store all the babies are sent to another location. Can you please disclose this secret location to me?

I'm at a complete loss here....

Dear Mr. Stork: I have looked for you on every holiday and yet you are elusive. Do you have a special holiday all unto yourself? Do I leave out my stocking, easter eggs, valentine, four leaf clover and turkey dinner to exchange for the baby I so long for? Please let me know soon as I'm dreaming of the day we meet. Your day will officially become my favorite holiday.

Does anyone know which day is Stork Day?




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silverdollar
Oct 05 2010 08:35 PM
Stork day is an elusive one for sure, and is different for each individual trying to celebrate it. It usually only comes once or twice in a lifetime. You've got a secure delivery method now, so I hope you catch an embryo the next time the stork visits VFC.
You crack me up SD!! My DH is laughing too :Emoticons09780: Here's hoping the stork finds both of us this time around!
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simplefaith
Oct 05 2010 09:19 PM
Awww this is the cutest blog...It put a smile on my face. It is sooo hard when the people closest to us become pregnant, but you sound very supportive of her. It's too bad that the others are making you feel like a leper. It just goes to show that when it comes to IF the only people that can TRULY understand are those that have gone before us or are going through it with us. All the best to you and TTC
    • papoose76 likes this
That is so sweet. I wonder, if things are kind of hushed around you, if you don't want to just write a letter to yours and dh's fam, a little explanation. Someone did recently - was it you?

They seem to be doing their best to be considerate, although it's not the way you need them to be. But no one has a manual for you - so why not write one. :Emoticons09780:

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you get some pumpkin pie!!
Uh, Just second guessing myself about giving advice. So chuck it if it's no good. I don't know your family. Just thinking out loud. :Emoticons09780:
LOL aww I want stork day too! :Emoticons09780:

All kidding aside, I also experienced this. I got pregnant last May (2009), along with my DH's nephew's gf (confused yet?). LOL The family was so excited that there was going to be two new babies in the family!! Mine was ectopic, and hers is now a healthy 9 month baby boy. But yes, in the beginning for my own sanity I did avoid family functions (which was easy because we live 3 hours away from them), but did feel the quiet whispers and questions about her pregnancy blah blah blah as if I was a ruhtard. LOL I know they mean well, but well... what really can they do. Life is just shit sometimes.
So cute:) I wish there were a stork day too!
Very sweet post....I don't know about Stork Day...but maybe just try God ... he is there every day :)
But remember...he is extrememly busy and has more wishes to make come true than any holiday icon.
Keep at him, he will answer your wish I am sure.

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