Starting new job and FET is around the corner.......................Help stressed. - IVF.ca Forums

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Starting new job and FET is around the corner.......................Help stressed.

Posted by kristinaR , 11 September 2011 · 1693 views

So i just got offered a new job position and Its a great job all around , but ever since i said i accepted it my mind cant stop thinking about the FET coming up 1.5 weeks after i start! Im a stressball! All i can keep thinking is the company seems so good and expect alot from me, and if we finally end up PREGO(THIRD TRY),....AM I LETING THEM DOWN? What will i say? When? Will they regret hiring me?
We having been waiting so long for a family i dont want to keep putting life on hold for the "right time", not sure why im feeling this way.
Anyone out there been in this situation or have any advice to help me through this.................. :Emoticons09780:




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silverdollar
Sep 11 2011 11:59 PM
Take the job. If your cycle is successful, you'll be 3 months in before you announce any pregnancy news anyway, and if your cycle is not successful you won't resent turning away the job offer.
I kind of agree with silverdollar. Take the job and if the cycle is successful you could tell your employer at 3 months or wait a bit longer. I didn't share my expected pregnancy with my employer until 5 months which has given them more than enough time to find a replacement during my upcoming mat leave.

On the other hand here are my thoughts. If the new job comes with more responsibilities, it will inevitably come with increased work volume which means more stress, increased expectations, accountability, etc on top of having to possibly learn new work duties. Having gone through the IVF procedures as you know, can be stressful in and of itself (both emotionally and physically) and I'm not sure I would be able to tolerate or even want to tolerate the added responsibilities and stress.

Good luck with your decision.
First off, you can't live your life assuming you'll be pregnant in a couple weeks because we all know it doesn't always work that way. You need a few eggs in another basket - like, say, a great job.

Secondly, I presume that they are offering and you are accepting this job with a longer term view than a couple months or even a couple years. If you think that you would come back to this job after a maternity leave (I don't mean you can't change your mind, just that that is your intention) then you should feel no guilt about accepting it.

And good luck on your FET.
I do agree that a new job comes with new stresses (just from it being new and new responsibilities) but I would also look at it as a welcome distraction. Something else for you to sink your teeth into during the tww.

Good luck!
I was in the exact same spot almost three years ago... My cousin was our surrogate, we had already done a few fet's with her that didnt work, we were on our last try for a while and i got a call for a job i really wanted.... well i got the job and then a week and half later found out i was going to be a mom...ahhhhhh... so thrilling but then i was in the same position as you... only it wasent even me that was pregnant... i was so nervous to tell them... and even more so because of our situation and i worked with all men... so explaining your situation to them felt so personal... anyways i waited till we were almost 5 months and then i went to them... they were great about it/// it happens... cant put you life on hold for work... plus you need your year maternity leave.. in the end i never went back as i decided to stay home with my son.. they totally understood... were so sweet employees came by with gifts and the company sent flowers... i feel i did more stressing then needed about the whole thing when all was said and done... take the job.... they will understand... you have to look out for you and your family 1st no matter what!!!!!!!!!
Hope you get your BFP with your FET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for all the feedback it helps me realize what im feeling is normal and to go with my gut. :) :Emoticons09780:

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