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5 days until beta...

Posted by papoose76 , 31 March 2012 · 2064 views

Today I am 8dp3dt from FET #1, after two failed ivf cycles (well the second ivf worked but we lost the pregnancy early). We transferred 3 frosties on Friday, March 23. It was fairly painless although the nurse holding the u/s wand over my stomach either wasn't paying attention or couldn't get a good angle but the RE missed the white bubble they look for on the u/s monitor. So when he brought out the inner catheter, the embryologist went to check it and sure enough one of my little embies was still in there. The RE (not my regular RE) said to me "maybe that's your stubborn boy". :tears: I immediately started to cry thinking of these little thawed embryos as my possible future children. I'm not religious (more spiritual than anything), but I prayed to Creator that one or more of these little ones would attach and thrive in my uterus.

These past 8 days have really flown by, (thank goodness) but now time is slowing down and I am driving myself crazy with my lack of symptoms, the stupid negative FRER that I did this morning, all that compounded with the fact that my beloved auntie passed away two days ago... I had planned to go visit her in the hospital on Friday (yesterday), I talked to my cousin and asked her to let her know I`d be coming... I really wish that I had gone the day before. I was and am still in shock. My mom is trying to stay strong but it is so hard. My granny just passed away last year, so she was still dealing with that as well. I really hope that what a friend (supermom) said will be true... that for a new soul to enter this world, one must leave and that maybe my auntie is my guardian angel. Ok, I just made myself cry. I`m going to miss her so much. She was my mom`s closest sister, and now she is gone... My heart breaks for my mom. I can`t imagine what I would do if I lost any of my sisters. My auntie wasn`t that old either, only 50 (although she`d been sick for years and in and out of the hospital with recurring pneumonia and lung problems). My mom said to me `now she can breathe`.

So along with all of this, my husband does not know how to console me. He has not been around me very much in the past two days and I am very angry at him for it. Even my stepdaughter hugged me while I cried and looked at pictures of my auntie. I love her so much.

I am going to be so devastated if this cycle doesn`t work.




So sorry for the loss of your Aunt, but wishing you lots of luck with BETA!
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Cassandra_Angela
Apr 01 2012 07:58 AM
Sorry about losing your aunt... fingers crossed that you get a get a BFP!
So sorry about your loss!! Best of luck with your cycle. My fingers are crosed for you.
BFN on a FRER this morning :(
I'm so sorry about your auntie:( ((hugs))

My reproductive history (or lack thereof)

From age 13 to 18 I had one boyfriend who it turned out was unfaithful to me. We never used condoms because I trusted him and I was on birth control. He gave me an STD at age 17 (gonorrhea) and I had no symptoms, so I have no clue how long I had it before I had it treated.

From age 18 (yeah my relationships overlapped because I was "getting even" but fell in love with the guy I cheated with) to age 22 I was with a different guy. We lived together for 3 of those 4 years and ttc with no luck at all.

Age 23 to age 30 I was with my ex-husband. I started seeing my fertility specialist in 2004 (age 28). HSG showed clear tubes. Lap- 2 fibroids removed, some lysis of adhesions. 3 Clomid cycles all BFN. Another HSG showed clear tubes a year later, and another lap after that showed nothing major (exploratory). More clomid cycles, more bfn's. He never wanted to do ART, he called it "playing God". Then he cheated on me and I had to kick the bastard to the curb.

Age 32 (2008) to present, I have been with my second husband. We instantly fell in love and after a couple months of dating, moved in together and started ttc. We "just knew". We started seeing my same fertility specialist and had an HSG which showed one partially blocked tube (non-mechanical blockage). May 2009 I found out I was pregnant!! Very unexpected but very much wanted. Ultrasound at 6 weeks 6 days showed nothing in uterus, pregnancy was ectopic. It was removed at 7 weeks pregnant. Worst emotional pain ever sad.gif HSG 3 months later showed one fully blocked tube, one open. We registered in the IVF program in January 2010, and are just now in the process.

IVF #1
Suprefact: Sept 27-Oct 17
Puregon: Oct 8- Oct 17
ER: Oct 20
ET: 23: 3 eggs retrieved, all intact, 2 fertilized and made it to transfer!
Beta: November 4/10 moved up to Nov.2/10 because I started bleeding heavily and tested negative on a FRER. I am beyond devastated... Beta was less than 1.2 BFN

I am back on the waiting list at my clinic to do another IVF cycle. The wait is 8-9 months, so I won't be cycling until either July or August 2011. In the meantime, I will be trying naturally and giving "Benedryl therapy" a try in case I have implantation issues. Can't hurt.

HSG done March 15/11- Both tubes were clear. Appointment on April 6th, new b/w, pap, and Rx for Femara for May and June cycles.

IVF #2
July 25- first u/s and b/w. Cyst on right ovary & estrogen level high. Injections delayed.
July 28- second u/s and b/w; no change... cycle cancelled th_aggahhh.gif
July 31- October 1st I will be on BCP.
Oct 3- first u/s and E2 b/w- fingers crossed that the cyst will be gone...
Cyst is gone! Started microdose Suprefact (20 units) on October 4th twice a day, and Bravelle (150 iu) & Menopur (75 iu) on October 6th twice a day.
First monitoring appointment on October 12th!! Fingers still crossed!
ER, October 19th: 10 eggs retrieved, 9 fertilized!!
ET, October 22nd: 2 embryos transferred (one was 8 celled, the other a morula)
BFP on early pregnancy test (10miu) on 8dp3dt
Beta: November 3rd!!! Fingers crossed!!! 112!!!!! yahoo.gif
Beta #2: November 5th- 133 sad.png
Beta #3: November 9th- 31... cry.gif Another angel baby in Heaven...

HSG; December/2011- Right tube blocked (hydrosalpinx) at the end where the ovary is. Left tube clear.

FET #1- transferred 3 embryos on March 23rd
BFN on FRER (April 4th)
Beta: April 5th- negative

 

December, 2012- Husband left me for another woman. TTC has ended for me.cry.gif

Us

Me: 36 years young
Him: 36 years young wink.gif
Step-son: 14
Step-daughter: 12
2 cats: Sprinkles & Leonardo

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