5 days until beta...
These past 8 days have really flown by, (thank goodness) but now time is slowing down and I am driving myself crazy with my lack of symptoms, the stupid negative FRER that I did this morning, all that compounded with the fact that my beloved auntie passed away two days ago... I had planned to go visit her in the hospital on Friday (yesterday), I talked to my cousin and asked her to let her know I`d be coming... I really wish that I had gone the day before. I was and am still in shock. My mom is trying to stay strong but it is so hard. My granny just passed away last year, so she was still dealing with that as well. I really hope that what a friend (supermom) said will be true... that for a new soul to enter this world, one must leave and that maybe my auntie is my guardian angel. Ok, I just made myself cry. I`m going to miss her so much. She was my mom`s closest sister, and now she is gone... My heart breaks for my mom. I can`t imagine what I would do if I lost any of my sisters. My auntie wasn`t that old either, only 50 (although she`d been sick for years and in and out of the hospital with recurring pneumonia and lung problems). My mom said to me `now she can breathe`.
So along with all of this, my husband does not know how to console me. He has not been around me very much in the past two days and I am very angry at him for it. Even my stepdaughter hugged me while I cried and looked at pictures of my auntie. I love her so much.
I am going to be so devastated if this cycle doesn`t work.