Coming together

Things are much, much better. My body has healed a lot. In fact I have begun to POAS again, to watch the HCG leave my system and, surprisingly, it has done so quite quickly. Tuesday there was a faint positive, today almost nothing. Odd to think that it fades so quickly when it came in so strongly when K was the size of a poppy seed. The bleeding has slowed to almost nothing and the milk has gone.

I wore my pre-pregnancy jeans today, and though the waist was tight they were a better fit than maternity things. I have been unable to wear even my favorite maternity clothes pretty well from the day it happened and though I don't think that's very logical/practical, one thing I have learned is that when I do encounter those emotional 'I just can't' moments its best to just go along with them. I'll pack them away tomorrow in the hopes of a next time - some of them are very lovely.

Am starting to see this now as a horrible, horrible thing that happened to us rather than the single defining truth of my life.

DH and I went for a counseling session on Saturday which was extremely helpful. He dealt with this so differently than me in the first few days and I found that quite hard. Like most men he wanted to get as much space and distance as quickly as possible and I felt a bit abandoned in my misery. But the session was helpful in understanding where each of us were coming from and we've been closer than ever since then.

Progress.

Thanks again for all your support and comments. It feels good to be part of this community.

J