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So, I guess we are fertile now....
Posted by
DiXie
,
01 March 2011
·
2444 views
I was actually scared to write this entry this morning because I am afraid that I will kicked out of this awesome club called IVF.ca.
but here we go:
AF decided to tease me once again this month by being late, my mid-cycle bleeding started as usual on CD19, continued on and continues on today, but AF still hasn't arrived...so you know you buy the most expensive HPT to test so AF would show her face...so that's what I did...and as I did the test after work yesterday I was just hoping to see the negative result, but no, I was so wrong, the test says PREGNANT!!! and to top it off, 2-3 weeks since conception...
I wish this test would show who the father is! because my DH has sperm problems as we know it! We need it ISCI to fertilize my eggs, not many fertilized, not many made it the blasts, so how in hell am I pregnant again!!?? naturally!!!???
While I really want to be happy about this - I am NOT, instead I am sooooo scared! I am scared of the outcome, I am scared of ending up spedning my time in the emergency due to the bleeding I have, I am scared to tell ANYONE what I saw yesterday..I am just sooooo scared....the history is reapeating it self once again and I don't know if I can handle another loss, if it happens.
Let's hope for the best, and let's hope this is the one...but I guess I will beilive it only when I hold the baby in my arms...
so funny how life works, I actually made up my mind that being a mother is not in my books, and this happens...
but the funniest thing of all, is just on the weekend I was thinking how I was going to get through this week, because this week was my Due Date week for my first preganancy...what a turn of events...
so off I go the the walk-in and try to do some b/w, try to get some numbers, which I doubt I will. I am just a REGULAR fertile now so I don't have priviliges of the fertility clinic and their speedy beta testing.
Keep your fingers crossed for us! and please don't kick me out the the club yet...
but here we go:
AF decided to tease me once again this month by being late, my mid-cycle bleeding started as usual on CD19, continued on and continues on today, but AF still hasn't arrived...so you know you buy the most expensive HPT to test so AF would show her face...so that's what I did...and as I did the test after work yesterday I was just hoping to see the negative result, but no, I was so wrong, the test says PREGNANT!!! and to top it off, 2-3 weeks since conception...
I wish this test would show who the father is! because my DH has sperm problems as we know it! We need it ISCI to fertilize my eggs, not many fertilized, not many made it the blasts, so how in hell am I pregnant again!!?? naturally!!!???
While I really want to be happy about this - I am NOT, instead I am sooooo scared! I am scared of the outcome, I am scared of ending up spedning my time in the emergency due to the bleeding I have, I am scared to tell ANYONE what I saw yesterday..I am just sooooo scared....the history is reapeating it self once again and I don't know if I can handle another loss, if it happens.
Let's hope for the best, and let's hope this is the one...but I guess I will beilive it only when I hold the baby in my arms...
so funny how life works, I actually made up my mind that being a mother is not in my books, and this happens...
but the funniest thing of all, is just on the weekend I was thinking how I was going to get through this week, because this week was my Due Date week for my first preganancy...what a turn of events...
so off I go the the walk-in and try to do some b/w, try to get some numbers, which I doubt I will. I am just a REGULAR fertile now so I don't have priviliges of the fertility clinic and their speedy beta testing.
Keep your fingers crossed for us! and please don't kick me out the the club yet...
- Duck, Tracy1234, hoping for two and 1 other like this
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