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i now realize in it's entirety what it means to be infertile

Posted by myluv4hope , 05 August 2009 · 705 views
warning raw and personal
Last  winter i went to a counseling session with my husband and promised him I would  be okay if  it failed. Never believing ( i am sure that we all have had  this thought) that it would not fail). That i would not end up pregnant.  I got the news on sunday that it was negative no numbers to speak of just it's negative.  I was warned ahead of time tha...


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it is for me really over

Posted by myluv4hope , 02 August 2009 · 698 views

Just got the call from the clinic. Negative. so after three negative home pregnancy tests i am not surprised but  again the final word is crushing. I have my husband and my two cats and  my house.  It is debatable  whether this will be enough for me.  I am happy for all you that have a positive and pregnant wonderful. i have no more monetary resources it...


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venting and feeling sorry for myself losing hope

Posted by myluv4hope , 30 July 2009 · 667 views

Continuing on.. Negative again even though i was told by my nurse not to test i felt buoyed by all the women from the clinic who were getting positives and i felt enough time had passed so i tested. tomorrow will be fourteen days since my little embbie was implanted. Tomorrow is the blood test. Ever Since my daughter died my stepson finally starting recog...


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Just so much to say this is not all

Posted by myluv4hope , 26 July 2009 · 663 views

I sit here and wonder about everything. Here i am almost 41 and have almost completed my first and last IVF/ICSI cycle. My mood today thoughtful reflective but mostly terrified.  Last February i went to an information session at  the Foothills clinic. My husband and I left the meeting feeling hopeful and excited about the prospective of becoming pregnant...





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