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i now realize in it's entirety what it means to be infertile

Posted by myluv4hope , 05 August 2009 · 705 views
warning raw and personal
Last  winter i went to a counseling session with my husband and promised him I would  be okay if  it failed. Never believing ( i am sure that we all have had  this thought) that it would not fail). That i would not end up pregnant.  I got the news on sunday that it was negative no numbers to speak of just it's negative.  I was warned ahead of time tha...


it is for me really over

Posted by myluv4hope , 02 August 2009 · 698 views

Just got the call from the clinic. Negative. so after three negative home pregnancy tests i am not surprised but  again the final word is crushing. I have my husband and my two cats and  my house.  It is debatable  whether this will be enough for me.  I am happy for all you that have a positive and pregnant wonderful. i have no more monetary resources it...


venting and feeling sorry for myself losing hope

Posted by myluv4hope , 30 July 2009 · 667 views

Continuing on.. Negative again even though i was told by my nurse not to test i felt buoyed by all the women from the clinic who were getting positives and i felt enough time had passed so i tested. tomorrow will be fourteen days since my little embbie was implanted. Tomorrow is the blood test. Ever Since my daughter died my stepson finally starting recog...


Just so much to say this is not all

Posted by myluv4hope , 26 July 2009 · 663 views

I sit here and wonder about everything. Here i am almost 41 and have almost completed my first and last IVF/ICSI cycle. My mood today thoughtful reflective but mostly terrified.  Last February i went to an information session at  the Foothills clinic. My husband and I left the meeting feeling hopeful and excited about the prospective of becoming pregnant...

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