It Finally Happened and has taken by surprise.......we think.... - Forums

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It Finally Happened and has taken by surprise.......we think....

Posted by CnC , 12 July 2009 · 836 views

Well, this is my first kick at having a blog. I have never blogged before, and I'm sure that I will either get way carried away and post a zillion times a day OR it'll be novelty item for a few weeks and then die off....we'll see what happens.

I just wanted a record of our latest journey....pregnancy! Yikes, i said it.....I'm Pregnant! Shhhh...saying it too loud is a little scary!

My love of my life, Cesare, and I started down this journey a few years ago when we fell madly in love with one another after the demise of first marriages....we met after we had separated from our "ex's" and fell instantly in love with one another. It was crazy passionate love was actually really scary how we connected so quickly. Both my family and his were quite concerned that this was rebound love, but almost five years later we are still madly in love with one another!

Cesare has two wonderful children, my step-children, who are ages 8 and 9; one boy and one girl. I love them with all my heart. We have shared custody of them and so they spend half their time with us and half their time with their mom. We have created a wonderful blended family and we have managed to create a good relationship with the children's mother and her boyfriend. The six of us actually spend a freaky amount of time together...but it's all about the kids.

This August Cesare and I will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary and for 3 years we have been trying to become pregnant. After five IUI's and two IVF's we found out last week on Tuesday, July 7 that we are officially pregnant....NATURALLY! Seriously, naturally???? My god, what the heck? I am a POOR RESPONDER with POOR QUALITY eggs...and we become pregnant naturally. Some higher power is looking upon us and has decided that this is the time for us. The kicker is....even though we were discussing trying a 3rd IVF, we were getting to the point where we were done trying with ART. Cesare was adamant about give a minimum 6 month break from any infertility treatments...and I was eager to get back on the bandwagon after the failure of our 2nd IVF in December. We decided that we would reconsider come this August/September....but as September was creeping closer I was starting to deal with the fact that it may never happen with that, and if it didn't....i would be okay with that. We would recreate our lives in to be worldly travelers, and do all the things that we would do without a new born child..... it is...i'm pregnant and we are OVER THE MOON thrilled.....and terrified! When does the worrying stop? When do we ever get to feel calm and secure? On Wednesday, July 8 we went for our first u/s..i thought this is it.....this is the day that this pregnancy and baby is going to smack me in the face with reality. We were nervous, excited, unsure.....and we waited and waited for our RE. Finally Dr. Motan shows and it was over and done with in less than 3 minutes. The u/s showed a gestational sac, a yolk sac....and that's it. Dr. said he thought he saw a flicker but it's all too soon and he wants to see me back in a week. THAT's IT? Can we celebrate? NO.....not yet! We walk out of the u/s room and the nurse says to us, "sooo, as the Dr. said, don't get too worked up yet, it's still may be early. Just try to relax and hopefully things will improve by next week". So....we arrived thrilled to death and excited and left feeling worried, crazed, nervous......and CAUTIOUS!!!

My Beta on July 7 was 12,930....and man would i ever love to do another beta just to see if it's increasing. I have had minimal symptoms......and my god, Cesare will not believe that we are pregnant unless i am praying to the porcelain! Every 15 - 30 minutes he's asking me...."so, how do you feel now? What symptoms do you have? Do your breasts hurt?".......God love him....I really want to give him all the answers that he wants to hear, but i can't and it scares both him and I.

I get moments of nausea. I have determined a pattern whereas i get nausea every afternoon. It's last for about an hour or so...some days more, others less. I am not a "puker"....I only recall throwing up twice in my life....that's IT! I will do ANYTHING in my power to keep me from throwing up and the firs time was with my first IVF. The morning after my trigger shot...oh my god....i fell in love with the toilet that morning. I wanted to DIE...that was the worst feeling in my life. So when I say i have nausea....i mean, i feel dizzy, i have a queasy stomach....almost like an anxiety feeling. I breath deeply and i just want it to pass...quickly. Otherwise, i have sore breasts. They are always sore, but they are worse at some points of the day from others. I wake up each morning wondering if I have miscarried because that is when i feel nothing.....normal....just like i do any other morning. But then i get out of bed and within 30 minutes I am reminded...."hey, i might actually be pregnant". Oh, but are my breast sore from the hcg/progesterone flowing through me or are they sore from me poking and squeezing them. Come mid afternoon though......uggghhh...they hurt. DON'T TOUCH..they hurt. That's pretty much it. I'm slightly more tired than normal....but we live such busy active lives that I am often tired come the evenings. I am not "falling in my dinner" tired (sorry Ceska), but i can easily put my head down and have a nap if given the opportunity.

I guess we have to wait until Thursday....ooooohhhhh Thursday, it's only 4 days away, but it feels like a lifetime! We know that we will be able to get excited about the pregnancy once we get to see a heartbeat and a fetal pole......oh please let this be real for us!!!

If anyone choses to read this, you'll soon find out that I ramble.....and ramble....I don't know how to make my blog all fancy with sayings and pictures...i'll hopefully figure it out soon, but for now, this is me...this is us and our crazy life... in the raw!

I just want to give you a big congratulation!!! :)
Your story is very inspiring, thank you for sharing with us.
I am wishing you a healthy happy pregnancy and a wonderful bundle of joy at the beginning of a beautiful new life .
Keep on ramble with that magical energy you got.

Love and blessings
Jul 13 2009 06:17 AM
CNC THAT is an awesome story! Congrats! I can't wait to hear what Thursday brings! How wonderful!
So inspiring!!
Great story!!
Congrats and good luck
Jul 13 2009 09:19 AM
I am just so thrilled to hear your unexpected expecting news - NATURAL!!! Well all be damned. That's really fantastic and truly inspirational for so many.

Wishing you the best of luck in the upcoming weeks!

Jul 13 2009 09:31 AM
Christie, I'm so very happy for you!! Your post has brought tears to my eyes. I wish you the very best for a wonderful pregnancy.

Congratulations!! what a rollercoaster of emotions!! will the worrying ever end? - NO! it just doesn't, not even when you have your precious bundle in your arms. Best of luck to you! Looking forward to hearing an update.
Congratulations! I am so very happy for you. Unfortunately, the worrying will never stop but it will become tempered by more and more excitement and love. All the best wishes for you and your littlest miracle.

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