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Posted by Anotherhopeful , 09 June 2010 · 1861 views

I know that the time for my blog has passed - I have been essentially absent now for 2 1/2 months since the babies arrived and posted only rarely during the last months of my pregnancy - and yet it and the wonderful support from all of you have been such an important part of my journey that it didn't seem right to simply let it fade away - I wanted to write one final entry to express my sincere thanks and to say good-bye.

I started blogging after my first ivf ended in miscarriage caused by trisomy 13. I have glanced through my many early entries as part of the process of saying good-bye and vividly recall how grim my mood was so often; how little hope I held. When ivf #2 seemed to be a bust with the risk of cancellation and such a poor response, I felt such grief. And then, against all odds the miracle happened, and it was a multiple miracle.

Sitting here today looking at my sleeping boys, I obviously have no idea why I was so blessed and why things worked out as they did when others I have traveled with continue in pain and despair. But I am eternally grateful for myself and my DH and so hopeful that everyone here finds their path and what they seek.

This blog has been such a luxury for me - a place where I was able to work through so many emotions and ideas and to feel invariably safe and supported. Rick - how can any of us ever thank you enough for all that you have done in creating and maintaining this place? You are a special person and I hope that you feel the love and appreciation that we all have for you.

To all of the ladies here - many of you have been so generous with me and provided such wonderful and kind support - thank you from the bottom of my heart. There were days last spring and through ivf #2 where I spent upwards of 4 hours a day here, reading, thinking, writing. Without this community I would have been much less informed, and much more distressed. Some of the friendships have transcended this place and now exist in the "real world" - what an incredible gift.

I do hope that as time passes, this blog might live on and provide some small support to others on their paths. I read many other blogs in their entirety during my journey and was so inspired by the bravery and beauty they revealed.

My title was inspired by a movie - and the idea that even after you go beyond the point where everything seems absolutely hopeless that life has a way of changing. And sometimes, the changes bring gifts that are better than we might ever have imagined. I don't know where my journey will lead now. Alex and Jake are well and thriving and filling our days and nights with love and activity. My DH would love to have more children; as would I, but that is another chapter that has yet to be written. You will know if I reappear in the blog-sphere that we are trying again! For now, I count my incredible blessings and marvel at the extent to which my life has changed in 12 short months.

To all of you who have followed my journey and provided your love and support - thank you - you and this place are a very special gift. May all of your dreams come true along this arduous pathway.

Keep the faith; feel the love - it is all around you.

Attached Image: bassinet twins.JPG

Miss you and good luck! What a cute pic!!
your boys are beautiful.
Jun 09 2010 07:20 PM
AH - your boys are beautiful. Thank you for taking time to say goodbye, you have been and you will be missed around here. So glad to have met you on my journey, yours is a story I hold close to my heart. Please check in with a picture or two every couple of months if you can.

Take good care :)
Farewell lady....take good care of those babies!
All the best to you....
My dear friend you have been and will be missed! The boys look wonderful.

Thank you for everything for helping me along my journey, please stay in touch via email :)

You are one of the first people that I "followed" when I came to this site, and watching you succeed has been such an inspiration. Thank you for everything you never knew you gave me. We'll miss you, but I have the feeling that with those two beautiful boys, you'll never be bored!
You will be sorely missed, but I hope we will stay in touch.
The boy's are gorgeous AH, I will miss your blogs so much!!

Love and blessings, and will keep in touch my friend.
Oh AH....i'll never forget the day you posted your BFP & Beta and I said you're having twins! LOL....
Oh what can I say....It's hard being right all the time *giggle*

Your boys have certainly grown and what handsome iittle boys they are!
Enjoy every moment with them & your DH....
You'll be sadly missed here.

Much love, God bless, Susan xxxx
Jun 09 2010 09:39 PM
It just won't be the same without you! Enjoy Alex & Jake and fingers crossed we'll see you back here some day for #3!

Beautiful boys!! Good Luck!!
We have all gone through this journey together and i wish you and your family all the best - your boys are beautiful!
Jun 10 2010 07:08 AM
Your boys are beautiful! All the best to you.
Your boys are SO SO cute!!! Hope you are well!! All the best to you. Thanks 4 all your support! xo
Farewell AH! I have enjoyed following every moment of your incredible journey. Thank you for sharing your insights along the way; I am sure your blog will provide inspiration and knowledge for so many other women. Your boys are beauties.
Best wishes to you as your boys grow and thrive. (PS Please let us know if you ever decide to blog elsewhere. I know that I missed blogging here so much that I ended up setting one up elsewhere, so perhaps you'll feel the same way too...eventually!)
Lovely picture of the boys. All the best.
Missed before you posted this farewell. I enjoyed reading your blogs.
i'll miss you....
Jun 10 2010 10:05 PM
I will miss you and have.

Stay blessed and kiss your boys from Aunty Vanessa :D

Blessings and love.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
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Useful Web Links (In Progress...)

The Betabase - www.betabase.info/index.phpHuman Reproduction Journal On-Line - http://humrep.oxford...6/9/1861Article on Betas - http://findarticles....16599521/Clinic Websites with great information - http://www.advancedf...ility.ca/Fellow IVFers on the Web - http://stirrup-queen...mlPsychological issues - http://humupd.oxford...ul-ivf/Protocol Descriptions - http://www.fertility...t-ivf-protocol/

About Me

Me: 40, DH: 45, TTC: 2 years, Issue: Male factor (morphology, count, motility and agglutination) and my age

IVF#1: Feb 7/09 Flare Protocol, ER: Feb 20/09 11 eggs, 7 mature, 3 fertilized w/ ICSI, ET: Feb 22, 2009, 1 4 cell A-, 2 2 cell B, no frosties HPT: March 6: BFP, BETA #1: March 9, 2009 - 808, BETA #2: March 16, 2009 - 13,535U/S March 21, 2009 - heartbeat 120, 5 mm! U/S March 31, 2009 - not viable, "missed m/c"; meds April 4; procedure May 20; baby was a girl

IVF #2 - estrogen priming/antagonist - estrogen starts on July 1, CD 3 - July 10 injections start 75ui Repronex, 225ui Puregon; ER - 6 eggs; ET - 3 fertilized, 1 6 cell B+, 1 5 cell B, 1 4 cell B; Beta - August 6

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