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Feeling disjointed

Posted by Luli , 30 June 2010 · 966 views

Today was a weird day. My sister called from England and told me she got a first for her degree, yeah! And also that my 16 year old niece is pregnant, booo!
My niece is my brother's daughter, he had her when he was 15 and it's not a huge shock to me that she is pregnant. I suppose I have been waiting for this phone call since she was little but when I heard the words I felt like I had been punched.

I have so many feelings going around inside. My family has told me not to contact her as she is making her decision this week on what to do and they feel my anti-abortion view point might sway her.

I walked home from work today fantasizing about adopting her baby and bringing both our babies up (I'm now 14 weeks 2 days!)

I feel so weird though, is my desire to fly back to England and beg her not to have an abortion or to give her baby to me or to one of us strange?

I feel awful for her and can't imagine what she's going through but can't stop thinking about the baby, myself and all the women who are struggling. I suppose I feel selfish and guilty also for not being there.

Hopefully the next few days will bring some clarity of thought for her and for me...right now I just feel so strange about it.

Dreaming

Jun 30 2010 02:36 PM

Wowsers. First, sooo very happy for you on 14 weeks, that's incredible! Second, re adopting your niece's baby, I am a big believer in fate. I hope it all works out :-)

Luli

Jun 30 2010 02:39 PM

I'm not sure if she would even consider adoption! I'm just fantasizing over the possibility as I can't stand the thought of her having an abortion. I'm scared she'll regret it later but I suppose all roads from here on in will lead to some form of regret.

mollygirl21

Jun 30 2010 03:00 PM

TO - that just sucks. Would showing her an article like this help, do you think?

http://www.newsweek....ur-respect.html

MG

hotmamaoftwins

Jun 30 2010 03:22 PM

OMG I could have written this myself...Prior to my BFP my younger sister got pregnant and she's only 16. We were in the middle of cycling and I was begging DH if I could propose to my sister to adopt her baby. DH had nothing against adopting but not to a close family member as he doesn't want anyone having any claim over our baby later on. He would prefer it from a total stranger... Also the thought of me providing a better future to the baby over my sister was so strong that I was so torn... I know where you're coming from so don't feel you're alone in this one... I hope everything else is AOK with the pregnancy... :Emoticons09780:

Luli

Jun 30 2010 03:28 PM

HI MG,
I read the article, thank you so much for sending this. It's hard to read and also very true. I have just spoken to my brother who feels that she should be allowed to make her own decision but that I should stay out of her decision. It's so hard to stand by after reading so many stories on here and seeing that her decision will cause her so much pain. I'm really scared that an abortion will cause infertility but I know the chances are rare and that I just don't want her to suffer the way I have.
My brother said to me "you have fought really hard to have a baby and have that now, it must be hard for you but she is a child and this will ruin her life'
I'm grateful he sees where I'm coming from, I suppose I really am being selfish.

RainbowsPromise

Jun 30 2010 10:07 PM

I don't think you're being selfish at all. I think you're willing to give the baby a chance at a life and a good life at that. I've felt that way too when I hear about young girls getting pregnant then thinking that it is going to ruin their lives... well sorry but maybe you should have thought of that before you started having sex at such a young age... if you're not ready for the consequences of it then don't do it. I think that you adopting the baby should be presented as an option to her... it could be something that she hasn't even thought of. I'll keep your family in my prayers, esp for protection of this little one. I find it so sad that there are so many women who would just about sell their souls for a baby and that there are situations like this where babies are conceived and don't even get a chance because they are an "inconvenience"... give me that "inconvenience" any day. Hugs.

IVF #1

May 11th tomorrow is CD1 (I think) Called the clinic.May 12th didin't hear back from clinic called again!May 13th today is the "real" CD1 Called clinic twice moreMay 15th Day 3 ultrasound and blood work, started Marvelon BCPJune 3rd start suprefact injectionsJune 7th last marvelon!June 10th CD 1June 12th CD 3 -BW/US- Its all go!June 16th CD 7- BW/US- 3 follies on left, 1 on right all over 1mmJune 19th BW/US- 17 follies over 1mmJune 20th BW/US- more follies on the grow Last Suprefact/PuregonJune 21st BW/US- TriggerJune 23rd - ER 15 eggsJune 24th- 4 eggs donated, 6 eggs fertilisedJune 25th- still got all 6 embies, go guys!!!June 26th- 6 embies, 5 - 8 cell tough guys and 1 tiny tim...we're going to blast!June 27th- 6 embies still growing.June 28th- transfered 1 big guy and the one in second place. 1 left for freezing. Grow embies!!!</span>

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Feeling disjointed

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