Javascript Disabled Detected

You currently have javascript disabled. Several functions may not work. Please re-enable javascript to access full functionality.

Flying On An Angel's Wings

Archive

Sometimes When You Let Go Miracles Happen

Posted by Victoria , 03 September 2019 · 668 views

Since I got the call, Ive been asking these questions over and over:
Is this for real?
Are you sure?
Are you tricking me?
Is this what you really want to do? The answer is always, Yes.
I think, for the first time since I started my quest to have another child, I was in the first first stage of letting go, giving up, accepting defeat. Though pa...

Read Full Entry →

2 Comments

Like a Bad Case of Reverse Psychology

Posted by Victoria , 15 January 2018 · 2422 views

We rode out the rest of the year, as if nothing happened, but that primal urge still lingered. It was not over. So by the end of the year the urge took force again. It's been our biggest source of conflict. I had made up up my mind to start to process again. We had no embryos to worry about getting consent from each other to use. We would have to start ov...

Read Full Entry →

3 Comments

The End of This Cycle: IVF Fauilure Again

Posted by Victoria , 18 May 2017 · 3094 views

Getting this FET cycle started was emotionally the hardest thing I had ever done. My partner had changed his mind after I held on to three precious embryos for five years, while trying to earn more money, saving, and finding a better womb. I found Angel and she seemed perfect and I believed that after so many years, the time had come a...

Read Full Entry →

9 Comments

The Mood Shifts

Posted by Victoria , 16 May 2017 · 1504 views

So I had been in a mellow mood since the transfer. I visited Angel earlier, after 6:00 p.m. and handed her a 3-pack home pregnancy test kit. I wanted to see what the result would be tonight as she's getting her blood drawn tomorrow.

I felt that by now the hpts should be correct. But my mood shifted from optimistic to any wo...

Read Full Entry →

2 Comments

The Angel-Surrogate

Posted by Victoria , 15 May 2017 · 1415 views

I don't even know how she creeps into my life the way she does and is a big part of my struggle with infertility. And then she volunteers to be a surrogate and I wonder if what I heard is right.

"For real?" I say. "You would?" "Are you sure?"

"For sure," she says. "I want to help you."

She's caring. She's loving. S...

Read Full Entry →

2 Comments

Cautious but Breathing a Little Better after the Transfer

Posted by Victoria , 12 May 2017 · 1249 views

Transfer took place on Monday. Angel and I drove over 5 hours for the transfer. She drove about one and half hours and I drove the rest of the way. One embryo did not survive thaw, but I have always believed it would not. After the transfer, Angel got post transfer acupuncture. After, we travelled to a restaurant and ate lunch. I...

Read Full Entry →

4 Comments

Compromise Reached with a Condition

Posted by Victoria , 01 May 2017 · 699 views

fertility

After gathering boxes, clothes, and telling friends that my fairytale marriage was on the brink of shattering like glass hitting concrete, something happened. I sat with my partner again for the too-many-times-to-count-talk, and told him how much I was still in love with him but how much we had to separate. He held my hand and said he would do it. He...

Read Full Entry →

4 Comments

Lose, Lose Situation

Posted by Victoria , 08 February 2017 · 1364 views

I read the recent responses from amp77 and want2babies and I was mortified by my reaction. I thought my tears were gone. I thought I was a stone to all that was happening on my journey to enlist the help of a surrogate I call Angel. But I cried. The pain to complete this journey grew stronger. The possibility of losing the partner I love to trade wit...

Read Full Entry →

4 Comments

Another Twist, "It's a Sign From God"

Posted by Victoria , 01 February 2017 · 1032 views

They find it -- my partner's lab work. It was not put in the database, thus the confusion. Everything comes back normal, and we (Angel and I) are ready to sail into my world of baby dreams. But, based on my journey to ascend to the top of my baby mountain climb, Angel's upcoming cycle will not render a transfer start dat...

Read Full Entry →

3 Comments

"When it rains, it pours"

Posted by Victoria , 30 January 2017 · 740 views

My partner got all his part (lab work) done. I thought that would allow me to exhale a sigh of relief, however, I can't exhale now. I sent the clinic a note asking for his results so I could get the protocol for Angel. I was hoping she could begin the transfer process.

The clinic cannot find the lab work. Was it delivered to the clinic? Was it deli...

Read Full Entry →

2 Comments