An End = a New Beginning
Hey ladies! My 4th entry is ready to pour out of me!!
Soo last night was my last chance of making a baby with my man on our own. I honestly tried not to think about it, but I just can't help myself! I actually started to cry when he wasn't looking. I laid there with my pillow under my butt and let myself grieve.
I just always imagined -not in a weird way- thinking back to the love making session that I conceived my baby. I know it's kind of stupid but the emotions took over for me. I wonder if anyone else had this thought or emotion their last time to try before their first bc pills and IVF?
I am definitely excited for next month to come so I can get on bc and have my SIS procedure to check my tubes and uterus. I am glad that I will stay on bc too because it will preserve my low egg reserve. My IVF planned for June just can't come fast enough now.
I over heard my man talking about IVF to some friends at church! This secretly made me the happiest woman alive because he has been tense and distant since he is in the process of excepting the fact that God didn't choose for us to have a baby the way he wants. He is willing to do whatever it takes...he is just not thrilled about it. I can tell he is processing through it. So hearing his positive words to his friends about it was a little victory! I think I pray for him more than for me! God will soften his heart as we get closer to go time. Having my man giddy about IVF and the realistic possibility of it working would be amazing! To all of you ladies out there with hubbys who are excited...go give him a big kiss right nah! Seriously!!
ENCOURAGMENT FOR YOU!
I watched an amazing IVF blog on you tube and the girl said something that I loved. She said that she knows that she needs to stop worrying and trying to control everything because it truly is in God's hands. He already knows the name's of our children and when they or it will be born. It is already done, and she was made for whatever happens. She said there is so much peace knowing whatever God's plan is, it is perfect...so just listen to his directions and chill out some.
I LOVE that! I am going to go where he leads me knowing that what he chooses for my life is perfect for me even when I can't see it yet. He is sending me to Mexico, and I have to trust him that Yes I can handle this, and No I don't know if it will work, but he already does and it's going to be fine.
Prayers for you and your journey
- Cubsareready! and Hoping&Praying like this