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Current thoughts on another child...

Posted by Edie , 11 July 2013 · 1029 views
Donor eggs
It's strange how much I swing around on this. I have had a really big month, and this week I am out of steam. The thought of managing a new baby, plus a toddler is...overwhelming. It seems impossible! I am too tired. But I have had the flu, and other big things to deal with, including my own difficult mother, so perhaps this is not the week to consider an...


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Motherhood

Posted by Edie , 02 June 2011 · 1069 views

You go out like ripples in water, out and out and out further and further. Your fingers feel zippers and labels and leaves. You grab for every passing thing. Lights and fans and lamps fascinate you (and frighten you). You delight in things that spin and hang and shake. You can now crawl towards things,rolling yourself up and onto your bottom, your legs sp...


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Tiggy

Posted by Edie , 21 November 2010 · 1005 views

Thank you again to all those who commented on my last blog. Your posts helped - every one and I appreciated them.I titled my last blog 'Alas thy noble peerless best beloved' because I saw it written on a gravestone in the cemetery near our house where I like to walk sometimes. I thought it suited Tiggy because he is a bit noble, defintely withou...


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Alas thy noble peerless best beloved

Posted by Edie , 20 November 2010 · 1233 views

I asked my dog, my beloved Tiggy, to wait until I was settled to pass. Not to leave me until things were certain, until I found my right partner and until I had a baby. Tiggy was my soul companion and saw me through so much change. So many houses and flatmates and wrong boyfriends and holidays and adventures. He never missed a walk and I loved him very mu...


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Sonny

Posted by Edie , 31 October 2010 · 871 views

I hope it is ok to blog here about Sonny and the happy things. I know the struggle to conceive so well and I know the pain of feeling like pregnancy and motherhood belonged to a place I could never ever reach. I used to imagine it was this beautiful land that everybody else seemed to be able to get a ticket to, and I was always left out. So I hope my blog...


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Confessions

Posted by Edie , 15 October 2010 · 717 views

Ok now that I seem to be on firmer ground I can confess some truths - the first six weeks WERE TERRIFYING. Did my other blog entries truly convey my horror? Oh boy what a shock! The first hours in hospital after my dh and mother had left - how lonely and frightened I was! The days were physically painful - I thought I had been tricked and that my...


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The Truth II (baby mentioned)

Posted by Edie , 14 October 2010 · 808 views

Well friends, the truth is - it is all worth it. It is as wonderful as they said, as enriching, as lovely and fulfilling as those darn Huggies commercials promised. Ok there is more poo and less sleep then the ads suggest - but motherhood, loving my son, is a ball. He is a living elf and we have found a rhythm together. There is story time every morning -...


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Poem III for Sonny

Posted by Edie , 11 October 2010 · 714 views

SonnyI put the lettersof your nameacross your doortodayS O N N Yin wooden hearts and stripesEvery time I pass your doorthe letters catch my breathwith their bright declaration'I live here'My sonThis morning I lay with you beneath the purple ponyand looked at lifeFrom your angleAs you reached and kickedTurning yourtwinkling stars-for-eyesto mesmili...


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The Truth (baby mentioned)

Posted by Edie , 10 October 2010 · 753 views

The truth is that I need to cry every day. I know I am doing a good job with my son - he is settled and plump and calm. He sleeps lots and cuddles and smiles with the odd grumble in between. But every day I need to cry. I need to stick out my bottom lip the way Sonny does at nappy change time and bawl. This is all such a big big deal and it all feels so d...


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Progress

Posted by Edie , 08 October 2010 · 720 views

Dear FriendsI love this site, I really do. Sometimes I wish I could get inside it - as if it were a place, as if I can hear real voices, a whole village full of real voices instead of just letters on a screen. I miss being able to write more - Sonny really takes up every spare second. We have had a great week cos Mum has been down baby whispering. She sta...






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