You see twins in a stroller at the mall and wonder "fresh" or "frosties":)
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Posted by EMJ on 04 April 2013 - 09:23 PM
You see twins in a stroller at the mall and wonder "fresh" or "frosties":)
Posted by Rick on 19 December 2013 - 04:56 PM
Dear Valued IVF.ca Members
I originally created this site in 2002 after the birth of our daughter who we had through IVF. Until then I was quite dissatisfied with IVF networks I had been a member at and I felt there was a serious patient networking gap in Canada. Rather than complain about it I took matters and vision in hand and created IVF.ca.
The project became a major commitment. I took this on with no web experience whatsoever. Needless to say it has caused many sleepless nights. Perhaps even a sleepless decade.
Internet related technologies are moving forward at a tremendous clip. At this stage I feel it’s time to hand over the reins to a company who can help IVF.ca manage and grow in the future. Today I am announcing IVF.ca has been acquired by the media company VerticalScope.
VerticalScope is taking over the operational aspects of the website and you may see some changes appear as a result over time, however the forum itself should not be greatly affected. Everyone will continue to use the forum and site as they do now. I will still be involved with the website as much as time permits, in particular assisting with transition issues. The existing moderator team will still maintain their rights and roles in the forum and be an integral part of the website.
I hope that, in some small way, I’ve been able to make a difference in the lives of those who struggle with infertility. I have come to know many people on this site that have made a difference in my life. If I can ever be of assistance to anyone on this website in the future, including VerticalScope and their staff, please feel free to ask. I’ll be hanging around. You probably can’t get rid of me!
Posted by nervus optimist on 29 June 2013 - 02:03 PM
it is with overflowing joy that I'm writing to share the news of the safe arrival of our son!
So extremely grateful to the medical team who helped him come into the world a smidgen earlier than expected and under under some unique and unexpected circumstances, to the midwife team who supported me through my pregnancy, birth and postpartum stuff, family and friends who are sharing in this joyful experience with us, the my clinic for always giving us hope, and treatment options, and for matching us with our donor embryos, to the couple who chose embryo donation making it possible for us to be parents, and to all of my friends at ivf.ca for the support and encouragements along the way - it was a post I read here that got us thinking about embryos donation at a time when we thought TTC was a thing of the past for us. so glad we gave it some consideration. it has changed our lives.
Posted by delusion on 19 September 2014 - 11:27 AM
at one point I have promised to myself if I ever have children I will share my story to give hope to others. So here we go...
My husband and I were 28 when we have agreed it's time for a baby. Two years, countless ovulation tests and disappointments later we realized it's not going to be that easy. Then we went to fertility center and after switching few doctors we ended up with Dr Librach. I must say I DO believe he's the best fertility specialist out there and if anyone is able to help in GTA it would be him.
My husband had lower quality semen (on the lower end of the normal range) and I have PCOS and homo MTFHR. Nothing particularly serious that cannot be treated.
I've done 7 IUI cycles - 6 with Clomid, 7th with Gonal F. Got pregnant 3 times and miscarried all 3 (one pregnancy had twins). Then we decided to move on to IVF. Once again, I got pregnant on a fresh cycle, but miscarried at week 9 - this was the longest pregnancy for me, so the disappointment was even higher. Overall, we spent 3 years on treatements.
I was taking Metformin, baby aspirin, dexamethasone, intralipid injections in addition to regular cycle meds like estrogen, progesterone, etc. I was heartbroken. I was barely holding and was considering dropping out of the game. My husband was the only thing that held me strong. He took all the losses very sensitively, but he could not consider the possibility for us not to have children. I promised him we will continue trying until we turn 35 yrs old, after that we may reconsider our views. My biggest fear was to waste my life trying and losing bebies, then realizing at 40s that I haven't had a chance to enjoy my time while remaining childless. We had to accept many restrictions in order to continue with fertility treatements.
Well, last October we went for FET. I got pregnant again. With twins. The only mild difference we have made this time was (a) FET instead of fresh cycle ( progesterone shots instead of suppositories © 2 dexamethasone pills a day instead of 1. At one point I counted 11 pills/shots I was doing daily for the first 12 weeks. Every single week we went for an u/s was hell: I was shaking with fear to hear about yet another loss. The first 12 weeks were shockingly tough on us mentally. I had 2 big bleeding/sotting incidents, not something that helps to ease your mind. Finally, at 13 weeks we've been told babies look great, Harmony test came back negative, and we can move on to a real obstetrician.
At 19 weeks u/s we've discovered that my cervix is getting shorter and shorter. By week 21 it was only 2 cm long. I was mentally drained. I was crying every minute night and day. I was so afraid to get that far and lose babies for another reason. I left work and stayed home. I literally self-prescribed complete bed rest. I got up only to walk 10 feet to the washroom, took shower once a week (10 min max), and got up once a day to walk to the kitchen in mid day to microwave lunch. That's it. Everyday before going to work, my husband would place pillows/extra things under the mattress, so I end up at an angle with my feet up (to keep pressure off the cervix). I was worried every single second. My husband and I cried when we realized we may not carry babies to life. After 24 weeks I got mentally prepared for an early labour and the possibility of having extremely premature babies. But time went on and on. First I thought I'd feel happier once I reach 28 weeks, then 32 weeks, etc. But weeks were passing by, and I didn't feel less worried. At the end, I manage to carry past 37 weeks and would have lasted longer, but was prescribed labour induction b/c of high blood pressure. My babies came into life healthy and marked as "healthy full term newborns".
These are dry facts, but I cannot explain how much I went through the past 3 years with 5 pregnancies and 4 miscarriages. What we felt during the last 4 months of my pregnancy, how worried we were, how we haven't given ourselves a single second to feel happy for the pregnancy because of the fear to jinx it, to lose it again. I didn't even feel the magic moment when I 've heard babies cry for the first time - the only thought in my mind was if they're healthy and everything is normal.
Right now my twins are almost 3 months old. They are beautiful, amazing, developping well. Every day I thank Lord for giving them to me, even if it means very hard times and many sleepless nights.
Pls, do not lose hope. Things do happen. We never found out the reason for our losses, but we kept going, we kept hitting heads against the wall and we've got what we wanted. I want your hearts to fill with hope. Good luck. Be strong.
Posted by Heregoesnothing on 01 April 2013 - 08:53 AM
Posted by Dempie on 18 November 2013 - 09:36 AM
Posted by Red Wine on 04 April 2013 - 08:32 PM
You know you're infertile when....
1) you organize hpt and opk in order of expiration date;
2) you know your clinic success rates by memory; and
3) you get jealous of a pregnant dog.
We all have funny infertile moments in amongst the challenging times and failed cycles, etc.
Posted by oceanbluesngreens on 26 August 2014 - 11:30 PM
To the woman I saw crying as she walked through the Monitoring section of the new facility on the morning of Friday, August 22:
I can't get your image out of my head - I was so sorry to see you in this state. I have been there myself and I know how terrible it is to walk through a crowded waiting room while you cannot contain your emotions. I hope you are doing OK now. I just wanted to give you a big HUG when I saw you like this on that morning... Sending you a big virtual hug tonight.
Posted by quandry on 05 April 2013 - 01:56 AM
You know you're infertile when you wake at the crack of dawn to sit in a doctors office with a dozen other women, like cattle being herded, while we are all poked and prodded. You know you're really an IF vet when you finally start talking to the woman next to you while everyone else gasps at the breaking of the silence.
Posted by hs4816 on 16 January 2017 - 08:16 AM
Posted by gibasgirl on 16 March 2016 - 08:48 PM
This is a thread for infertility veterans. The ones who tried and tried and tried. The ones who have been stuck on the sidelines watching the parade go by.
The experience of infertility changes over time. For many the experience is brief enough that no major harm is done to their hope and sense of self, but the experience may haunt them.
This thread, however, is for the ones infertility left behind.
The ones for whom thinking positively never worked. The ones who were inspired and motivated by the good fortunes of others, but remain childless. The ones who did "one last cycle" five times but still have empty arms. The ones who can't admit to how many cycles they have actually done in secret. The ones who try to forget their due dates. The ones for whom good wishes simply wash over them like a beautiful foreign language they used to speak long ago, but no longer understand.
I was moved by a blog about grief, shattering, and moving on,
For a small segment of us we reach a point where we have to stop and walk away from our dream of parenthood.
It's not easy. There is a mourning period and you have to build a new house for your new normal in a world that has been turned upside down.
ART and adoption is not for the faint of heart. We all enter this place from a perspective of hope: the hope of finding true and lasting love and the hope of building a family.
When it doesn't happen initially, we turn to our doctors for help and are given the solution IUI/IVF and move forward with hope and a feeling in our hearts that it will work out as planned.
For many it does work out that way.
For a few it takes several attempts to find the magic.
For a small number, the dream is elusive.
We have different exit points or emotional and financial limits but our dreams still live inside of us.
Posted by gibasgirl on 21 April 2015 - 03:01 AM
I am very sorry this is happening to you. I have been rooting for you since you joined and my heart aches for you.
You are not alone.
Infertility can be a destructive force on its' own and with the overlay of blame it is even more hurtful.
Your husband is not being fair to you, your marriage, or the life you were trying to build together.
It is a very traditionalist position that he has taken by blaming you. Infertility is a medical condition that affects a couple as a unit. This reminds me of the stance Henry VIII took in his pursuit of a male heir: blaming the women.
A loving man, an honest man, an ethical man would not treat you this way. I think there is more to the story than he is telling you. A person can only have a baby "now" if they have made prior arrangements with a willing participant.
I think it is not uncommon for us to think about 'setting our partners free' to pursue parenthood with someone else in the midst of infertility, but it's usually a dialogue (or a thought that we turn over in our heads).
It hurts now. There is confusion now. There is devastation, but in the wake of these broken pieces is freedom.
You may not be able to see it now because it is early and you have to process this, but your freedom awaits.
There are other options when you are ready for them.
Who is to say that he would not find something else to blame you for and be unsupportive about?
If counselling is something that you are open to, then it is well worth it to spend some time with a therapist who specialises in the unique challenges faced by people dealing with infertility. If your husband is willing to join you it could be beneficial for both of you, but I get the sense that he made a unilateral decision.
For now be good to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Know that you are a wonderful person deserving of love. You are a gem. You are deserving of the best this world has to give and a bright future awaits you.
We are here for you.
Posted by jenpen on 04 April 2013 - 10:36 PM
Posted by Emily81 on 04 April 2013 - 10:17 PM
You've taken a HPT after trigger just to finally see the 2 lines.
When someone asks you the date, you say "Day 18".
You've taken apart a HPT to check for another line/ taken one out of the trash hrs later to check for a line.
Found this online, some funny answers
Posted by Rick on 16 May 2013 - 01:32 AM
Posted by kristina713 on 31 January 2013 - 02:03 PM
I have not posted on this forum for a long time, but I wanted to come back and tell people my story. I received a lot of support on here when I was feeling quite hopeless, so I hope my story will give hope to others.
I began wishing for a baby while in my early thirties and in a long term, but unhappy relationship. He wasn't interested, despite having promised years earlier that we would have children together. I cajoled, badgered, fought, and was sloppy with birth control. In retrospect, I now thank God that I did not get pregnant in that relationship.
Eventually, that relationship ended (I was now 34), but my self-esteem had been destroyed and I was devastated by the loss of my dream to have a family. I was also desperate to find someone to have a baby with. A bad combination. After a couple of short, disasterous relationships, I realized that I could not force a relationship to work on my biological timeline.
After much soul searching, I decided to become a single mother by choice. I was 36. I went to the fertility clinic with every expectation that, now that I had given up on finding a partner, all would go smoothly. This new dream fell apart when I tested as having very high FSH. Several IUIs did not work, so the doctor suggested IVF.
I was determined that IVF would be the answer. I was now 37. I did everything to prepare -- took dozens of vitamins, took DHEA, drank green tea, did acupuncture, did yoga, gave up sugar, alcohol, and wheat, etc. etc. But my IVF was cancelled due to lack of response.
The day the IVF was cancelled was the worst day of my life. I had lost all hope. I had looked for love with a man, and had found only pain. I had looked for love through single parenthood, and that too had failed. I lived far from family. Work was not enough to give me a sense of purpose. I felt that my life truly had no meaning and I had no hope for the future. I laid in bed all day, with no motivation to keep going.
The next day was a beautiful, sunny day. I had taken the entire week off work, because I assumed that I would be going through the IVF procedure. I had no idea what to do with the week. Finally, I decided that I could not lie in bed for a week. I needed to keep living. It took a huge effort of will to get up, but I decided to walk to the farmer's market to pick up some food for the week.
That day at the market, while buying tomatoes, I saw a man that I had met casually a few times before. He was standing in the sun, looking quite handsome. Even though I am normally quite shy, something made me brave enough to go talk to him. Maybe I felt I had nothing left to lose.
Exactly one year later, we were married.
I am now 39 and married to the most gentle, loving, hard-working, family-oriented man -- the best man in the world. My sister has agreed to be an egg donor for us and we are currently undergoing tests to prepare for this. I still don't have a baby, but I am happy. My life is full of love and meaning, and I am with someone who wants a baby with me. We will find a way.
My story is my own, and it is different from any of yours. But I wanted to share it, because I wanted to tell all of you to never give up hope. Never feel that life is hopeless. Great happiness might be right around the bend, it might be only a day away. It is waiting for you, even though you can't see it yet. Don't give up.
Posted by GabyP on 21 October 2014 - 02:58 PM
I appreciate your honesty, but will share some things with you. I work in Child Protection and each day meet some young parents, who because of their age as parents would be socially acceptable, yet they, at times lack the maturity. So do some older ones, so that does not matter. I meet many grandparents who then help out and raise the little ones, and they are 50 or older and do so well.
I do not expect to run a marathon with the stroller. I currently work a full time job and am working an on call job thereafter, which requires that I answer phones every four hours during the night and to sleep four hours and then answer phones again. I do this each weekend for 64 hour straight.
I don’t have to worry about paying a mortgage, as because of my age and hard work, my house is paid for. I can also retire in 10 years and will have a nice pension. My then 10 year old will travel the world with me and be exposed to different cultures and languages.
At 25 I had to work and did so until now. If I truly feel that I need help, will get a cleaning lady and gardener, or even a cook, something I was not able to afford at the age of 25. At 25 I had to cook, clean, cut the grass, work two jobs and be a parent. I did well and my child is a successful and independent young woman. Now I can devote all my time and energy to a child, can you?
Three of my co-workers, at the ages of 19, 27 and 45, had cancerous moles removed. Years ago, my girlfriend’s husband died suddenly at the age of 43.
It is dangerous to assume that because of someone’s age, they are ill, weak and have no energy. My 35 year old co-worker has arthritis, I don’t. Pre natal classes are wonderful, but you need to understand that they try to prepare you for something, which might interrupt your sleep pattern and hormones will influence how you feel, but……..raising a child or children is not hard work. More common sense, creativity and so much fun. Otherwise and without such philosophy, why at any age do it?
Most of us, close to or over fifty, chuckle when women your age seem to know what we are capable of or not. You are not that far away from finding out.
Posted by elephantshoes on 08 August 2013 - 01:47 PM
Emily Peyton arrived July 12 weighing 6lbs 8ozs. She is absolutely perfect.
I wanted to thank everyone here for your support throughout this journey. Your love, support, friendship, knowledge, guidance, and encouragement gave me the courage to fight against our infertility. Without you I don't know how I would have survived.
Wishing you all the blessing of a child no matter how they come to be...
Posted by Rick on 11 May 2013 - 09:52 AM
This weekend is one of the more difficult weekends of the year for those experiencing infertility and are child-free. For the remainder of this weekend the board will operate without the status update sidebar. It should be back after the weekend. Thank you for your understanding.
Posted by silverbrumby on 28 July 2014 - 08:53 PM
I am a parent through embryo donation. I advocate against using the term "embryo adoption" and against these so-called "adoption" agencies because as someone else put clearly, it is NOT adoption. I do not want my kids to ever be confused on that count. They were not adopted. Adoption is a beautiful thing and also a massive loss wrapped up in the transfer of a baby from one family to another. Embryo donation is the gift of gametes that have the potential to become a baby inside of their mother regardless of dna. I have an open donation that was done privately and many of the circumstances brought up here are reasons why I chose only an open donation and only private donation. My kids know that I had help to make them and know that our donor family gave us baby seeds that the doctor put in me and that grew into them. The donors have said "It took all three of us to make your babies" and if you look at my kids you will see why this is in no way shape or form an adoption and I do not call the donors the "biological parents" because my body made these babies and influenced how they grew and expressed their dna. We also, do in fact, share DNA... just google it... pregnant mothers and their babies swap dna across the placenta and that dna can impact gene expression not just in the babies but in the mother as well. But if that doesn't convince you, just PM me and I will share a photo of my daughter and a photo of me.
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