14 replies to this topic

[Hope1818]

My first donor egg transfer ended in a chemical.  I am in the assured risk program with DEB USA so we can try again but I am feeling so defeated.  We have been TTC for 3 years and have been through A LOT.  It took a lot to make the decision to go the DE route and although I think we were realistic the news is still devastating.  I know there isn't much we can do but I am just looking for any advice anyone might have.  thanks.  

[returnable]

Hope I am so sorry for your result. We are also hoping to go with the assured risk program with DEB USA. All I can say is that even young eggs are not 100%. It is still absolutely normal (though unimaginable hard) to not have a golden egg right form the get go. Even on DEB USA's website the ongoing and live birth rate per embryo transfer for 2016 was 47%. I know it is hard when you think "this is finally it", but be comforted knowing that this is not the end. Do you have any blasts frozen from your cycle?

 

https://donoreggbank...m/success-rates

[Tess]

My first donor egg transfer ended in a chemical.  I am in the assured risk program with DEB USA so we can try again but I am feeling so defeated.  We have been TTC for 3 years and have been through A LOT.  It took a lot to make the decision to go the DE route and although I think we were realistic the news is still devastating.  I know there isn't much we can do but I am just looking for any advice anyone might have.  thanks.  

 

 

I'm very sorry for your chemical.  It's so hard to keep picking ourselves up and moving forward, especially by the time we've gotten to DE cycles.

 

The natural miscarriage rates for humans is quite high -- I believe as high as 20%, including chemicals.  Part of this is just a statistical/probabilistic game.  The more times you try, the better chance you have of a live birth.   

 

I've been following the blog of a woman who has been going various IVF treatments for for years.  She tragically had a stillbirth around 20 weeks.  She had a DE cycle in Europe where none of the embryos tested as normal.  But she's recently given birth to twins.   It's hard to keep going, but sometimes it's the only thing that can get you to where you need to be. 

 

Here's the link to the blog, in case you're interested.  https://theempressan...ss.com/2016/09/

[Hope1818]

Thanks for the emails.  I appreciate your thoughts.  I know there is no guarantees but you just hope with a 25 year old things will work.  All my sister in laws are either pregnant or have just given birth and (I am going to sound like a baby now) I wanted it to be my turn! I guess I am freaking out too because my doctor has advised me that DEB USA doesn't actually let you get to 6 tries they will kick you out of the program and refund your money after about 3 tries to minimize their lost.  I am so worried that they will evaluate a chemical pregnancy as a failure on my part and kick me out. My husband thinks that it would be way too shady to kick someone out after one try...I hope he is right!  We have already come to terms with giving up the money, I'm not interested in a refund I want a baby. Returnable has your doctor cautioned you similarly?

[returnable]

Hope no, though we have always been told that they will reassess after each egg lot. Did you just end up with one blast from your egg lot?

[Hope1818]

No we didn't make it to blast.  We had six eggs, 4 fertilized which I was told was a really great number but at day 3 I got a call to come in for the transfer because only one looked good. So day three I had 1 8 cell, one arrested, and the other two were slow growing but never made it to day 5. I really did better than

 

I was told not to expect frozen embryos but I didn't except one day 3.  I did better with my own eggs...maybe not quality wise I guess.

[returnable]

Sounds like an egg quality issue. Don't beat yourself up about it.

[Tess]

Thanks for the emails.  I appreciate your thoughts.  I know there is no guarantees but you just hope with a 25 year old things will work.  All my sister in laws are either pregnant or have just given birth and (I am going to sound like a baby now) I wanted it to be my turn! I guess I am freaking out too because my doctor has advised me that DEB USA doesn't actually let you get to 6 tries they will kick you out of the program and refund your money after about 3 tries to minimize their lost.  I am so worried that they will evaluate a chemical pregnancy as a failure on my part and kick me out. My husband thinks that it would be way too shady to kick someone out after one try...I hope he is right!  We have already come to terms with giving up the money, I'm not interested in a refund I want a baby. Returnable has your doctor cautioned you similarly?

 

 

DEB knows how high the miscarriage risk is for all women.  And they also know that you should have gotten at least 2 good looking blasts out of your egg lot.  Clearly it was an egg quality problem in your batch.

 

I hope you can do something relaxing and not worry about DEB pulling out.   It sounds like anticipatory anxiety.  IF is very hard.  We can't get through it if we let the anticipatory anxiety take over.  My advice would be to try to only deal with the problems that are happening at the time.   Don't borrow trouble, as they say.  

 

It's great your in the guarantee plan.  You can move onto the next steps and hopefully the next batch will be MUCH better.  Please take care.  ((hugs))

[Hope1818]

Thanks for listening your thoughts have helped. Really this site has been a life saver.  My DH, who has been wonderful, has had enough.  After every BFN he has said it is time to stop.  We decided on the assured risk as a compromise.  I am not ready to give and at least with this program he sees an end it sight. He is in self preservation mode and copes with the news very differently than I do so being able to come her and share with people who understand has been such a blessing!  All that rambling to say Thanks so much!! 

 

I spoke with DEB yesterday and it was suggested I used a previous donor so I was looking at some potential yesterday.  I guess acceptance has set in as things seem a bit better this morning.  I am sure there will be a huge crash when my period actually arrives.

[mar42]

I'm so sorry Hope 1818! I agree with the other's sounds like an egg quality problem. I have had 2 miscarriages

using my own eggs and then not getting pregnant at all. I went on to DE with DEB USA.....and to my surprise I

got pregnant on the first try. I'm 26 weeks pregnant.

 

It's great you're in the assured program with DEB USA. It will happen!!

[Hope1818]

Oh mar42 congratulations on your pregnancy!!  It is so encouraging to hear success stories.

 

do you mind sharing how you chose your donor?  I have found it very easy to pick my donor. I have picked her based on what she said her reasons for donating were some people have brought me to tears!  I am kicking myself now for having chosen a first time donor though.  This time around I am looking at proven donors and basically trying to find someone with at least 7 eggs in the batch.  I only had 6 eggs last time and really want the next try to yield better embryo quality.

[mar42]

Hi Hope 1818......Thank you! I found it difficult to choose a donor. At first I wanted the donor to look like me

but I learned fast that it wouldn't work that way. I wanted someone in her 20's the physical characteristics mattered a bit.

I didn't want someone who was a carrier of something. The medical history was important to me as was the genetic

history. I wanted a donor with at least 7 eggs as well. My donor was a proven donor and she had 8 eggs. I ended up with

2 embryos.

 

Wishing you all the best!

[kayte1]

_{​Hope - just curious if you had an update on how things are going for you?}

 

_{​I found this topic when searching about DE IVF m/c and chemicals... we just had the same experience after returning from Prague. I wasn't expecting it to work, I was prepared for that, but when it did and my betas doubled and then it was over, I wasn't expecting that either.} 

 

_{​Next time we will do double donor and I'll fly over by myself. The anxiety is huge though! All we can do is know we've done our best, but the heart sure takes a beating.}

[Hope1818]

Hey Kayte,

Im so sorry you had to go through that. You can never be prepared for a negative outcome. I am happy that you have already decided to do another round. I am not familiar with what a double donor is but I encourage you to stay positive.

We decided to try a second cycle immediately after our chemical. We made some changes with this donor in that I wanted someone younger and who was proven. That cycle worked and I am now almost 6 months along with a baby girl.

It is a hard process but it has a good success rate. I wish you all the best and I hope 2018 is your year.

[kayte1]

Wow! Thanks so much for the wonderful update. So happy for you!