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How do you cope?


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#1 MamaBerry

MamaBerry
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  • 15 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:DOR
  • My Clinic:Markham Fertility

Posted 05 April 2017 - 03:24 PM

I'm on the verge of my second miscarriage, and I'm just feeling so lost, sad, sometimes crazy... I know there are a lot of women here that have gone through way more than I have, but how do you cope with it all? The craziness of infertility is bad enough as it is, then you add in miscarriage and I feel like my head is going to explode.

This is it for us, I can't take anymore emotionally. This means my son, who I am so grateful for, will be an only child. I will be "one and done, but not by choice" and that brings with it a whole football field of guilt and regret.

When does the feeling bad stop?

I'm sorry for the whining, I just needed to get it out there.

4 years TTC

Unexplained infertility turned into low ovarian reserve (1.6, in 2012)

IUI #1 - by a complete miracle it was successful!

My boy was in a rush to see the world and was born at 28w1d

10 weeks in the NICU (or I should say NICU's because we were transferred between 4 different hospitals)

February 1, 2013 - HOME!!

 

2016

Back again to try for baby #2

Had my follow-up appointment and the numbers are pretty bad:

AMH = 0.10

AFC = a big whopping 0


#2 amazing grace

amazing grace
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  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 05 April 2017 - 06:42 PM

I am truly sorry for what you are going through. It is not easy and this process can be so cruel. I have had my share of grief, three early losses, one blighted ovum, a termination of my beautiful baby girl at 16 weeks due to a brain defect, another early loss and since that early loss in 2015, four negative FET's!  The loss of my baby girl broke me, spiritually and emotionally and each loss or failure was an imprint on my heart. I learned that things happen for a reason. I found strength in knowing that these souls were not meant to be with me but rather had other purposes. They came to me for a short time, maybe to teach me something and then move on. To be honest, I have become numb to the pain of this whole process. I relied on my friends and this forum to help me through. I found strength in spirituality and in reading about the meaning and purpose of why things happen. This for me was a way to cope. If I could understand, then maybe it would not hurt as much. Today, I have no idea where to go from here. I am fearful of trying again and haven't even scheduled a review with my RE since my last failed FET in January. My advice to you would be to find strength in what makes you happy. In the next few days, listen closely to that little voice inside because it will speak to you. Do not make decisions yet, you are not ready. If at the end you decide that you cannot deal with this anymore, then you will know you did all you could. I wish you peace in the days to come. xoxo


  • s00n, lumnay, SunshineTTC and 1 other like this

#3 Melissa Celeste

Melissa Celeste
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  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Hannam Fertility

Posted 06 April 2017 - 09:32 AM

I am currently waiting for my period after a chemical pregnancy. Ive done 3 rounds of IVF, countless FET's. WE had a BFP in December, finally after so many BFN, but lost the baby at 8 weeks. Ive always been good at picking myself up, and looking forward. ready to try again. But after getting this BFP, and then not.. i am done. I am so exhausted by this emotional rollercoaster. Im so sad that I might never have a child with my DH. WE have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, gone through every test.. but for some reasons my eggs just dont want to implant. I think that is great advice amazing grace, finding strength in what makes you happy. Im trying to do that! But its very hard.

 


#4 amazing grace

amazing grace
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Posted 06 April 2017 - 05:21 PM

Melissa,

I have been where you are many times over and I am sorry you have gone through so much too. You will get to that place where you feel most comfortable with whatever your decision is. You will also be happy again, it will take time but that too you will achieve. Wishing you peace as well.