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Adoption - Durham Region


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#1 4 years and counting

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 11:42 AM

We have been on the infertility journal for almost 5 years and although we are getting closer to solving the mystery, I am not sure because of our age, we want to continue the FET and donor egg journey forever. So, we are looking into adoption. I have read up on it a bit over the last week and it seems so confusing and complicated; as if working with a clinic isn't bad enough.

 

How is the adoption process in Durham Region? Those who have adopted, was the process faster in private or public adoption? We are looking for a new born, however, if the new born had a brother or sister, that would be an option as well. 

 

It looks you have to take training, do a homestudy which seems daunting.Any assistance navigating this next step in the journey would be fabulous. 


Me 43, DH 43

 

Trying since 2012

 

Natural Pregnancy May 2012, ended blighted ovum

Natural Pregnancy June 2013, miscarriage 6 weeks (chemical pregnancy)

Natural Pregnancy January 2014, miscarriage 8 weeks

IVF Pregnancy December 2016, miscarriage 4 weeks (chemical pregnancy)
IVF Pregnancy May 2017, 1st beta May 23 hcg 3,290, 2nd beta May 25 th_abfp.gif

First clinic 2012-2014

Second clinic 2014-present

 

Dx: diminished ovarian reserve; thin lining

 

Unsuccessful protocols: estrace, estradot patches, gonal f, natural cycle

 

Lining gets to 8.0 mm

 

Using donor eggs

 

FET attempts 15, transferred 4 times (2 BFN, 2 BFP), cycles canceled 11.

IUI attempts 2 (2 BFN)

 

Successful protocol for lining: estradot patches, Viagra

Successful protocol for FET: medrol, lovenox, PIO

 


#2 ilovemydogs

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 12:12 PM

If you want a newborn, I would suggest you do a private home study. That leaves you access to both the private and public options (I've heard it is more difficult to find a newborn through the public system). I'm in York Region and they told me it would take at least 6 months before they even started the process. We went with a private practitioner and the whole process to being adopt ready took two months. Between PRIDE training and the homestudy, we paid about $5K,

We are looking for older children (0 to 8) and are still in the process so I can't answer your question on newborn timing (although I believe it can vary widely). The homestudy wasn't as bad as I thought it would be - I thought it would be really intrusive. While it was somewhat, I built it up in my head.
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#3 4 years and counting

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 12:20 PM

ilovemydogs - I have to quite honest with you, I think the homestudy is what I am most afraid of. Firstly, my husband and I are very private people and don't like to discuss stuff with strangers and the second thing is that none of our family and most of our friends have no idea we are even on this journey. I really don't want to tell, especially if we can't adopt. They require 5 references and I believe they speak to family.


Me 43, DH 43

 

Trying since 2012

 

Natural Pregnancy May 2012, ended blighted ovum

Natural Pregnancy June 2013, miscarriage 6 weeks (chemical pregnancy)

Natural Pregnancy January 2014, miscarriage 8 weeks

IVF Pregnancy December 2016, miscarriage 4 weeks (chemical pregnancy)
IVF Pregnancy May 2017, 1st beta May 23 hcg 3,290, 2nd beta May 25 th_abfp.gif

First clinic 2012-2014

Second clinic 2014-present

 

Dx: diminished ovarian reserve; thin lining

 

Unsuccessful protocols: estrace, estradot patches, gonal f, natural cycle

 

Lining gets to 8.0 mm

 

Using donor eggs

 

FET attempts 15, transferred 4 times (2 BFN, 2 BFP), cycles canceled 11.

IUI attempts 2 (2 BFN)

 

Successful protocol for lining: estradot patches, Viagra

Successful protocol for FET: medrol, lovenox, PIO

 


#4 ilovemydogs

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 02:57 PM

They do require a family reference for each of you. We did both our mothers who have been extremely supportive.
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Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

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#5 nervus optimist

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 09:09 PM

there are adoption info nights put on by the adoption council of ontario. many people find them a very helpful way to learn about the 3 different types of adoption (private, public, and international). they are certainly a helpful starting point to better understand the process itself, and have realistic expectations about timelines, costs, and the children who require adoptive families. each children's aid society does these as well, but they are agency specific, so if you are unsure about public vs private then the adoption council session might be a good starting point. Honestly, the vast majority of adoptive couples are seeking to adopt a newborn or toddler and the vast majority of children who need adoptive homes is older than that. Many families wait many many years and never get matched. Others are matched right away. The philosophy for either private or public is for whoever is making the decision to look at all of the couples seeking to adopt and see which best meets the needs of the child (and potentially birth parents if there is to be some openness, or if they are involved in the decision making process), regardless of how long each couple has been waiting. I don't say this to sway you against it, but just to share what many of the common messages that we got at the time we pursed that option. As ilovemydogs suggested, we did our homestudy privately as well as our PRIDE training, and that allowed us to be registered for both public and private adoption, but (so far) we have not been able to build our family through adoption. 

 

Wishing you lots of luck as you sift through the system. It is a complicated one.

 

:flowers:


I am 37, DH - 38
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical

April 2017 - surprise PG