Where do I start... I guess I just have trouble believing my luck. We have 1 DD after a very lucky cycle when I was 37. Since then I have done 5 failed OE cycles before 42. Took me a few years to accept the idea of donor egg. I was 45 when I finally convinced myself into donor egg, then the process of hunting down a donor meeting our requirements took a while. The first one we are interested is a proven donor - 4 times successful resulting in live birth for the recipients. But she was disqualified by my clinic due to poor AFC test. Moving on to the 2nd donor this past summer who looked perfect on paper, but only after the screening she told us that she can't cycle till end of the year (Dec 2016). So we waited per clinic's recommendation because her numbers are great and she had a successful donor cycle before that resulted in pregnancy and frosties.
Now fast forward to Dec 2016, just my luck that I had a breast cancer scare. All the stress plus that I had to have a uterine polyp removed makes Dec not possible for me receive the embryo. Since the donor has such limited schedule, we decided to do a freeze all cycle and transfer later at my clinic's recommendation. Everyone was telling me that the donor will generate so many embies and FETs are as successful as fresh. So on we go with the revised plan.
The donor started off great, but only yielded 7 eggs on retrieval day - only 4 mature, 3 fertilized via ICSI, and only 1 made to freezing. How could this happen after 40K+ spent plus bending backwards waiting for this donor?! I know it's not anyone's fault, but I am just can't help feeling angry and upset, and I can't help but wonder if the cycle was not done right.
This is end of the line for us, I am turning 47 in a few months and we can't keep throwing money into more cycles. All our hope now lies on this 1 frozen embie assuming that it will survive thaw and is genetically viable and will stick. But that just feels so unthinkable right now. I can't muster up energy to feel optimistic at the moment. I just feel so sad for where we are and so sad for my DD who dreams about having a sibling. I know I should be grateful for what I have but it's just hard to be positive at the moment.
Well I just really need to get this off of my chest. Thanks for listening. If anyone have a miracle success story with a lone frozen embryo, please do share!